I often find that my amazing times, that provide more bewilderment than I have ever imagined, are followed by lows just as momentous. For example, last week I saw one of my favorite bands: Pendulum, and rolled for the first time. The next day we went to a trampoline place called Jump Street with a top sorority on campus; we threw them a party afterwards. The next day, I went to my favorite restaurant(The Melting Pot) with my family for my little sister’s birthday(she loves it too, obviously). That was on friday; Saturday day night we had a huge party at my fraternity that I live in. It was one of the best weeks of my life. When Sunday rolled around I woke up feeling shitty and hungover, but by the afternoon I was ready for my flag football intramural game and I killed it!
After the game I showered and headed to the library to work on a paper. While i was there I started feeling a fever coming on. It usually feels like a tingling in my lower back, it’s weird, but it happens every time I get a fever, right before the chills and intermittent sweating. Then my throat started getting sore. Then I could barely walk. Then I couldn’t muster up enough energy to work any longer.
The next day was worse. I could barely move and every time I swallowed, which you only notice the frequency of when it really hurts to do, the pain completely overwhelms me. I’m still sick today. I could only do about half the paper by it’s due date, my mom’s now worried about me for strange reasons.
It seems like life has this way of balancing things out for me. Do you experience this as well? Do you have the feeling when you are having a great time that you should relax a little because it will be counteracted by some form of pain or unhappiness? I used to think I was bipolar, but I’m no where near as depressed as I was in high school. I’m just more observant of it now on a relatively objective level. Am I alone on this, or do you have something similar to share?
I feel the exact same way. I’ve also thought I could be bipolar, but my highs and lows are not as extreme as those of someone with the disorder. My feelings about this are more about my moods…one day I will wake up euphoric, but the next not even wanting to get out of bed. I think many people feel this way and simply put on a smile (as I do each day I’m having a low) and no one ever knows.
That was just one example. I understand where your coming from the too: emotional ups and downs. To me they are very similar, because if I’m happy, whatever I’m doing is good. When I’m unhappy, everything sucks. So whether my happiness is all inside or being decided by my outward experience, it’s all just happy and unhappy and it usually seems to balance out.
I have days where I don’t even want to breathe, just stop existing, then other days I’m happy and feel great and enthusiastic about everything.
It’s just life, every low has an equal high, but consequently every high has an equal low.
Life isn’t about how miserable the it is at the bottom, but how you cling on and make every moment the best when you are at the highs.
I think the way you experience things depends on how you choose to experience. Not everything has been going well for me in my life in the past three to four weeks, but I’m pretty sure that in the past month, I’ve never been happier. Balance, or a lack thereof, and emotions as a whole, are a choice. – Shiro.