Battling with my mortality
I’ll try and keep this as simple as possible! I’m absolutely petrified of death. (Not with how or when, just the actual thought of ‘being dead’/the fact its eternal etc)
So much so that every so often I have these occurrences that I’ve come to name ‘death moments’. It kind of feels like finally my brain is coming to terms with the fact that I’m going to die, and then fights back against it, almost like a little kid trying to shut their ears off from something they really don’t want to hear.
I strangely find myself kicking or punching out, or standing up and pacing the room without me even thinking about it, as a way to distract my mind from the subject. It feels like a mini panic attack; my heart rate and breathing become elevated and sometimes I become overwhelmed with sadness and therefore quite upset.
Does anyone have any opinions, thoughts, comments on death that could maybe help me see it in a different light? I’m 19 but I’ve been having them (whatever ‘they’ are) for a good 5 or 6 years.
You guys are awesome and thanks in advance! (3.55AM over here in england so gonna hit the hay.) P.S if there is a thread with issues similar to this already then please just ignore and link me up:) Elley
The way that I see it is that I am going to pass, that much I know is inevitable, but, my decisions and outlook upon life in the present do not have to be influenced by my acknowledgement of mortality. I strive to achieve a greater morality, because I feel that if I help spread the positivity, wisdom, and holiness of the world then I will propagate through the universe on a spiritual level. Kinda the every action has a reaction principle.
I remember when I was doing drugs I was obsessed with mortality though! I would solo trip and dwell on the thought, and as one would expect, I ended up spending about one and a half months of my life inside of a psych ward due to the thoughts of death. It’s just unsafe to try to understand the Universe’s will for me, because I realize that faith isn’t merely believing that I’m headed in the direction I meant to travel, but also that I am able to, and that I will arrive at my destination. It’s taken courage to relinquish control over where I’m going, but that’s part of the mystery. I will never understand God’s plan, and for now, I enjoy the delicacies of life. I’ve been trying to cherish the greater morality; to follow Good Orderly Direction.
First of all, there are no facts about what happens to you after you die. Everything is purely speculation. Perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel that you see when your about to die is the world outside of your new mothers womb. nobody can tell you what happens when you die or wether or not it is infinite.
In school you learn that there is no such thing as energy disappearing, it can only be transferred. The energy inside of you that makes you alive must go somewhere once it is no longer attached to your body. It seems to me like you are looking at death in an entirely negative light, where as i would assume it has both positives and negatives like almost everything else in existence.
Try to look at death from a different angle and maybe you won’t fear it anymore
what Bobby said, added to that, we fear death only because after the hundreds of thousands of years we homo sapiens have existed, we stil haven’t a solid understanding or knowledge of death and the aftermath or even if there is one.
it is because of this fear that we come up with little saying’s like “life is short” or “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”. you must decide for yourselfn whether you want to allow this fear to continue to hold onto ou like this, crippling you mentally as well as emotionally, spiritually and possibly physically in the long run, or will you simply say “shut up death, you can have me when it’s time…but for now I MUST live”?
getting over phobias is a hard process for anyone to deal with, but with a little determination and support from others, you can persevere and get a hold on your life and leave these death dreams in the dust
These guys have a ton of great points. I think almost everyone deals with somehting similar to this at some point. for instance, my fear has been getting older. I’ve feared getting older since I was like 13. Most people think it’s crazy, but it was a very real fear to me.
I once read an article about this thing called the i- particle, or i-con.. it was a while back and im failing to find it again on the internet. Anywho, it seems to be the only physical evidence of our consciousness/soul. It resides in our brain, and is said to be “immortal.” Meaning, it does not change, grow or develop at all throughout our lifetime. Then once our body is dead, this particle is no longer in our body anymore; where it has been for our entire physical existence. Being “immortal”, it would have to leave some sort of.. debris? if it were to be destroyed after we die. The only logical explanation of these facts is that the particle must LEAVE our body once we die. I believe that once we do die, our soul is thrust into another dimension, one that our physicals bodies can not comprehend. There are no feeling of angst or fear, actually no feelings at all. It’s not anything to be afraid of, it should be a relief!
I think my favorite Alan Watts quote (or one of them at least) was something like this
“Death is an undulation of consciousness. How could you be alive if you had not once been dead?”
edit: holy bjesus @aly you should find that so I can read it!
you have to give up the fear of death in order to live.
it is good that you are facing it now. face to face.
the panic is just you looking it in the face. after you face it you will then have to let go and then you will really begin to live!!!
we have died many times and been reborn many times, over and over. so we need to just accept the impermanence of it, and flow with the flow! it is all o k.
this is a really good point we all need to face up to.
If you play not to lose you will never win. If you play to win you will win. If you play for fun you will enjoy it all to the fullest and probably win too.
The more you worry about death the faster you will die. Stress is the #1 killer. Stress is death. Dont worry about worryin about death tho. Dont worry about stress. Its only natural. Just relax n enjoy. Live.