Yeah, I like the person I’m with a lot. But lately I’ve felt a disconnection. Yeah he’s been depressed but the intuitive feeling I’m getting is saying this is not something I want. Its a long distance relationship and lately I don’t feel wanted, we don’t talk as much as we did before.
I need someone close to me who can actually be there, where there’s no walls built up.
I want long deep conversations, opening up more and actually talking about the meaning of life. Someone actually interested in me. I can’t even express what I’m really feeling.
I’m depressed and all of this is just making it all worse and make me feel more like shit. Like, how can you not tell that I’m not happy? You’re so far and this disconnection does not help. What’s the point? I’ll be wasting my time anyways.
I know I’m just manifesting all of this in my head, its probably not even the case. We’re probably just fine. But, I’m not…emotionally its lacking that emotional connection where you can talk about things that hurt you. I really need someone but there’s friend to talk to not even my boyfriend because he probably doesn’t even want to message back and forth with me about it.
Oh well, just using this as my journal because i hate writing things down. Hurts my hand too much.
Patience Love ..
Meet me at the end of the road
If you can’t walk with me to the shore
Know that I am here
Waiting to paint love on your scars
And blow up your candles of fears
I’ll keep my distance from you
Until you take a step towards a breakthrough
I don’t have to see you each day
I don’t need to hear you say
I just close my eyes
And feel your touch on my face
Someday dream within me would be real
As every flower has its day to look surreal
You are the wish I always wished for
I can wait my turn, till then I will adore
My mind has trained itself to have patience
My heart no more submerges in your absence
I’ll wait for my turn by the end of your every chapter
To see you grow through twists and turns
To know if I am included in a new one
You do what you have to do
I’ll do what I have to do
And if our paths are meant to cross
Stop by for some time
I’ll show you all what I have saved for you
I don’t think about right time for us
As I’ll love you even after many years
When your eyes are weak and legs are shaky
Keep your hands on my shoulders
And we will dance slowly
Until all the seasons pass by
It’s like waiting for forever
It’s my patience love
– Darshan Joshi ( [email protected] / www.darshanjoshi.com )
Depression is a symptom of isolation, you don’t need to be alone you need the opposite. Depression has a causality loop that feeds on itself that way, it demands to be alone only to consume you more. By neurology we are a social species, our emotion itself is evolved specifically to cooperate in a community environment, rejecting that reality of our nature is always toxic, to both ourself and each other. Fake it til you make it but don’t buy into the delusion of isolationism.
This is very relatable.
First of all, you’re clearly with the wrong person. You’re not on the same level and don’t have the same visions. Your mentalities don’t match very well.
Second, you won’t find your way to shared happiness if you cannot be happy on your own. So many girls just jump from one relationship to another, never cultivating themselves and maturing, never learning to handle the self.
Friends and family are great to talk to about these kinds of situations, once you get past the fear and miscommunication.