Breaking up is hard to do!

PDC (@chemicalspike) 10 years, 5 months ago

Which is what I am doing. That and sitting getting drunk!

I don’t have many relationships that I get invested in (two in ten years) last time I was a bit less in control of my emotions and took years to get over the person. This time I suspect moving on will be quicker as I had inclinations it was happening for a long time and had prepared for it.

What do you do to get over your relationships?

Oh and special kudos points if anyone gets the song reference (without hitting google original singer please).

August 2, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I don’t know who sang it—but I remember Brenda Walsh & the gang did the song in an airband on 90210 many many years ago! :)
#1– KEEP BUSY!! That’s about all I can say? Just takes time… If you’re looking for things to do to keep you busy—The Mastery of Love (short & sweet) by don Miguel Ruiz made me look at relationships in a completely new light. Since I read that book I know I don’t “need” anyone anymore.. it might make you feel better..
Chin up! You’re single!! Woo hoo!! <3

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

There is no shortcut to getting over it, you simply have to get over it by getting over it. Let go of the whole concept, live in the NOW and look to the future. Forget the past.

The act of breaking up is hard, it feels like smashing a puppy’s head or something like that, once it’s done there is no pain unless you create pain for yourself. Just let go of the pain, that’s all it takes and it’s the only way.

Distracting yourself won’t solve your problem, it will only hide it. KILL the pain and the thoughts of it and you will instantly have gotten over her. It’s simple.

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Johannes Davidsson (14) (@daokedao) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I just brooke up with my GF a few weeks ago. Keeping busy helps. But usually there is an underlying problem in your personality that makes you stick to a person that much. Mine is caring to much for that person that I get more in love with caring about the person then I am actually loving the person.

Thanks Em ill try to get hold of that book.

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paul_g (21) (@paulg) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

my two opposing strategies: a) get the next relationship going. b) learn how to truly love yourself before getting the next relationship going. with b), you’ll be less dependent/vulnerable whenever it doesn’t work out. i’m currently trying to do both at the same time :) good luck with your story! =]

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Anonymous (0) (@) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Love the Violent Femmes reference! My suggestion would be try the best you can to focus on yourself and what you want. Take the time to really get to know yourself and love yourself and like Paul said you’ll be less dependent and vulnerable.

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PDC (31) (@chemicalspike) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

My god I am so hungover this morning. I do enjoy distracting myself and keeping busy with alcohol though I am paying for it this morning. Meditation helps this sort of thing I suspect but I’ll have to wait until this afternoon.

Thanks for the comments guys. It helps that at present we are 6000 miles apart.

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Em (473) (@emily) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

Aww Peter :) Hungover with a broken heart sucks!!! I don’t know where you are…but if you have the time today, and the weather’s nice there–I’d find a pool, or lake…dive in, and lay on a float, or just on the shore, on your back in the sun. Drink water though!! <3

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PDC (31) (@chemicalspike) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

lol I live in Newcastle England the sun is a rarity but I did spend some time gardening today and that always chills me out (it needed doing as well so I got some righteous satisfaction from getting month old weeds up)

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Rachel Willis (11) (@rachelwillis7) 10 years, 5 months ago ago

I agree that breaking up is hard to do, especially depending on the connection you had with that person and the future you had envisioned with them, BUT you have to remember you broke up for a reason. People often have all of these flashbacks of moments spent with their ex and everything reminds them of that beautiful relationship they once had. What you need to do is focus on the things that weren’t working. It doesn’t make sense to focus on the negative, but when it comes to breakups, it helps me immensely. I will remember the fights rather than the love, and the cons instead of the pros. Also, as far as short term relief, make sure you go out and have fun, even when you don’t feel like doing anything. I’ve gone out almost every night and the attention from the new guys distracts me from the past one. I hope you’re feeling better!

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