Hi i have been stuck in this rut for 5 years now.
When my partner and i first started dating about 2 months in the relationship he cheated on me with his ex they didnt have sex. They kissed not sure how but they did. 5 months in the relationship he told me what happened i was hurt devested everything in the book, but i stayed with him as it was a one of thing…..i was having a hard time trusting him or when he was around another girl, i wad never self concious but i fealt like he was horrible for hurting me but i cared for him and belived he would never hurt me again. 2 year latter we kept having breaks so we would break up for a few months and i met this guy unexpectedly and we hit it of..but i was talking to my ex still. I told the guy i like about my ex and how i loved him still etc we spoke for about 1month then i relised i could leave my feeling for my ex so i told him that i still loved him and that i was kinda seeing this guy he was upset because he said he loved me to on was trying to focus on us….after that a few months down the track we started dating then he was distant we hardly talked etc then i had a few calls from other girls sayings hes cheating that he has another girlfriend i didnt believe it untill i met one of the girls and found out that he had 3 other girlfriends during those 3 years of us dating whilst we were together…many times he told me he fell asleep or worked back as we didnt live with eachother i had no idea and gave him the benifit of the doubt…i asked him he denied it then met up with one of his gf and went tk se him. we broke up of course! Then i still couldnt get over him so went back he wanted to prove that he was sorry and that he loves me so 1 months after i forgave him he proposed to me…we got engaged and then 1 months later i was still hurt i went out clubbing with a friend drank as much as i could to forget i was angry at him for having 3 long term affairs whilst with me so i kissed another guy i fealt so so guilt i told him he was so angry at me but he understood why i did it. He has become an amazing man now he is very respectful and tries to make me happy. Now its 2014 and i cant let go of all the affairs i dont know if its worth trying for or if im insane for staying with him? I love him care for him but im still hurt that i didnt mean anything to him well i may have ment something but it seemed like i didnt as he had 3 other gf. We have broken up recently because of the reason of me not being able to move past the past we had a 5month break got back together now its been 7months since were together living togethet but im still stuck in the past whenever i see another girl that looks like those girls i get upset i just hurt. I want to move on and forget but i dont know how? Any advice would be great please let me know how i can move on and stay with him :(