Cheating when married

texas001 (@lizafd001) 7 years, 7 months ago

What would you do if you have been married for 18 years and you cheated on your husband? I’m so mentally messed up right now I don’t no what the hell to do. We have been through a lot of experiences in our lives together including cheating, but not this far in the game.

April 28, 2014 at 11:05 am
josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

mdma guided marriage counselling?

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GymnastHateHit (1) (@Corman8094) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Yes…

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Y Soitanly (1) (@deRanger) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Obstupi. Steteruntque comae, et vox fausibus haesit.

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josephm (772) (@josephm) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

“I was dumbfounded. My hair stood up, and the voice of Faust to a standstill.”

-http://translate.google.com/

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Y Soitanly (1) (@deRanger) 6 years, 8 months ago ago

“I was stupefied. My hair stood on end, and my voice stuck in my throat” — Virgil, The Aeneid

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Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

I would… I have no idea because I’ve never been married and I never cheated. I’m already very hard on myself without doing both of those things. If you want to clear your conscience with a risk to sacrifice your marriage, share with someone close. If you want to sacrifice your conscience but not your marriage, keep it a secret.

Recently someone killed his wife and then himself around where I live because of the same thing. They had two little kids. Who knows? Some people just go for the kill.

18 years without cheating is a lot by the way. I’d congratulate you. Except, I don’t know what “this far” means and you’re calling it a game so you’re on both sides of the issue.

No one knows any details to help you.

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Baxter (16) (@Baxter) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Wisdom says be careful taking any direct advice from strangers .Since we don’t know you personally nor your husband . What may work in this situation for myself or someone else could be very well the wrong answer for you own personal situation. When friends come to me for relationship advice I usually let them talk till they come to there own answers through conversation ,giving direct advice can distroy friendships .
I personally would not bother me to much if my partner cheated on me and was ‘honest’ about it , maybe a bit hurt but we move on fast .
People have sex for many reasons and often poor reasons with poor choices at the time ,I personally can attest to that fact while single :-)
I don’t confuse sex and love unless it’s with someone I’m in love with and having sex. I personally beleive in monogamy for myself in a relationship but also don’t think monogamy it natural for humans .I’m just in the camp if you own the cow why go out for milk and usually just the way I like it at home . What is most important to me and my partner is complete honesty, since if you don’t have honesty you have nothing. I should know my first realtionship of we were together 10 yrs and he cheated on me .
I didn’t leave him because of the cheating I left because he tried to lie his way out of it when confronted . But these are my personal views and values they may very well not apply to yourself . I’ll say this, if your positive he’ll never find out ,ever…….. and you know he’ll be very deeply hurt by your cheating .If you still love him and want to stay married to him . Then your going to burn in “””hell”””” for it ,naa…… just kidding/ IMO your need to tell him is for you own conscious and you would be distroying the person you love too at the same time .

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texas001 (0) (@lizafd001) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Thank you for your honesty. As I ended the sentence HONESTY!!!!! Wow really eating at me.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

I’m not gonna say what I would do, because you don’t want to hear it and it’s not something I’d recommend.
Instead, here’s some good advice:

You gotta tell him.
18 years of marriage and you can’t even muster up some basic fucking honesty?
He’s your FUCKING HUSBAND. He’s given you 18 fucking years of his life (and probably a bunch of money and stuff) and you lie to him?
If so, cheating pales in comparison.

After all these years of living, you can’t even take responsibility for your own damn actions? Can’t even stand up and admit what you’ve done?

Tell him and make it up to him. That’s the only right thing to do.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

you have to confess or it will eat you up inside forever until you implode. let the chips fall where they may. explain everything as honestly as possible including why you did it and the way you view things now(if different).

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texas001 (0) (@lizafd001) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Wow, well I guess I asked for it. I want to thank you all for your replies, I take all the criticism I deserve it and really feel like hell about this, but I still don’t know what to do. My intuition is telling me I need to tell him, so that I can grow spiritual and move on to the next level of this journey we are all on in this world. Then my intuition tells me do you want to live? Since we have been through this same thing early in our relationship before we were married it was not good when I told on myself then, and I mean physically he did attack me. I also am caring for my 14 yr old Nephew and I think about a father figure for him? Wow did I fuck up this time!!!!!!???????

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Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Look on the bright side. You remember the beginning of your marriage, while most people throw their short-term experiences without remorse because they are genuine cunts.

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Anonymous (0) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

So I read in this “leading women’s magazine” that when it comes to cheating with your partner it is okay to hide the truth even just for once to save the relationship. But screw that! It is never okay to ruin that a relationship. I suggest end any relationship before you go fooling around. It is hard to live in a lie you know.

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Anonymous (175) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

I’d come clean. IMO at the least, it’s the best option.

It’s fairest to him when you’ve spent that much time together.

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GymnastHateHit (1) (@Corman8094) 7 years ago ago

The question is why did you do it

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