Confusion, depression, lost. This is me. I need help. Please.
It was 10:30am when I started panicking, inside my head, there was a lot going on, “Should I tell my parents? Should I stop now? Should I not take the quiz? Should I end my life? How am I going to tell my parents? I need someone, please! Help me!”
I am on my last year of studying Electronics Engineering, to be honest, I never liked my major, I never liked my life since I became a college freshmen. But hey, I am a regular student and about to graduate.
I just got back from a severe flu, I’ve been in bed for 5 days, while I was in bed and I decided to have a digital detox, I realized how hard my parents work for me to get well, how they endured their own sickness just to take care of me and on that moment, I decided to work and study harder to repay them.
I was supposed to take up 2 quizzes today but here I am, writing a post on HighExistence. I’m tired of pretending that I like this “chosen” field, my parents chose this for me. I’m tired of memorizing formulas, valuable engineering standards, unit equivalents, <i style=”line-height: 21.7000007629395px; font-weight: bold;”>I’m tired of everything about ENGINEERING!!!!
As I was thinking of these, I have thoughts of telling my parents that I want to quit, that I can’t do this anymore, I want to rest and think of something that I really love doing, but as these thoughts crossed my mind, I realized that it is impossible, they would just get angry and disappointed at me. Then, I thought of suicide but I thought that my parents would be sad that their only daughter ended her life because she’s been keeping this burden for such a long time.
Right now, if I were at school, I would be taking the quizzes but no, I am here at my dorm, writing this post and hoping help would come.
PLEASE HELP ME. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Sorry to read your story, at a young age we have to decide about our future. Sometimes we are pushed, and sometimes we find out that the study we chosed, doesn’t fit anymore. As your future is ahead of you, and as you seems sure you don’t like the study, drop it. To me you shows a lot of responsibility, the intention of that is great. How ever you don’t have to carry your parents responsibility. I would suggest talk openly with them, if you can’t speak write them. I think with a daughter like you they can be proud. As you care. Now take care of your future and find out what you would appreciate more
Have it as good as possible
HI! Took me long to reply on your comment, I apologize. I took a break from all things related to this matter, I even went offline to meditate and to look at things simply before social media (especially, facebook) took over this generation. As I was meditating, I have come to the decision of pursuing my course, I’ve realized that I’ve come this far, why stop now? I know, there will be a lot of difficult stuff along the way but hey, once I’m done with this stuff, I can become free. I know, someday I will be because I will make it happen.
Thank you for your comment! :)
Check out this link about ascension symptoms. I has helped me incredibly during these emotional times. You are NOT alone!
t kill yourself, dont be another statistic, Just tell your parents exactly how you feel, as you explained to us, or simply tell them you don
t think this is the profession you want, follow your passion, I would be pride of my daughter was an MD, even if she flunked out on being an engineer, Tell them you want to help people, if thats what you want, make it a point, don
t give up on your future, alot of people hate schooling, they have to go through with it though, or else</p><p><br></p><p>Your still young, and alot of people feel this way, i mean alot, its common for people to finish getting a degree or profession and change their mind, even if they realize they chose the wrong subject to study, my advice is finish the engineering, do that for a bit, get the extra cash and move on with what you want
reason why i say this, is because you probably spent a bunch of money on it already, or your parents probably did, either way, don
t let that go to waste, your interests change over time, and tough this out for one more year and you have more options available to you in the future if you dont choose the engineering route.
Hi there! I took a break from things related on this matter. While I was on break, I meditated, I’ve decided to finish my course. Who knows, this might help me in the future. I will finish this and I can finally do what I want.
Thank you for your comment! :)
I’ve been in your exact shoes. Living a life that felt fake to me. Feeling like there’s no way out. None of it is true, however. The stories you tell yourself keep you trapped. Living your life for other people keeps you trapped.
There is a way out. Sometimes you just have to stick up for yourself. Do what you FEEL is best. Don’t think about all the consequences that will result if you do what your instincts tell you to do. It will all work out. Live your life for you. You’re meant to do great things. You’re not meant to do things just to please other people and fit in.
You do know what you need to do. You’re just afraid to do it. Trust yourself.
Took long to reply, I apologize. I needed a break from things. I agree that what you think, you become; your environment becomes what your think it should be.
I meditated during my break, I felt that I should finish what I have started and when I’m done with this, I know that I’d be able to do what I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t know but I have felt this confident about the things I wanted to do when I’d meditated.
Thank you for your comment! :)
Ushio, you wrote, “Please help me. I don’t know what to do.” I don’t know if I can help you; I certainly wouldn’t presume to know enough to tell you what to do. But you must already have picked up on our (me and other commenters) wanting to offer a solution. All I have to offer you is my experience, to share with you what I’ve lived in relation to anywhere near what you shared 12 hours ago.
My work over the span of many years has placed me at funerals and memorial services of far too many people who chose to take their own lives. I’ve dealt with their distraught and bewildered parents, sons, daughters and friends And I’ve been at the point of debating whether I and others might be better off with me ending it all. I’ll say this:
You have only one responsibility, only one opportunity today. You only need to take care of what’s in front of you. Forget about the next moment, hour or tomorrow; forget about yesterday or an hour ago. Take care of what is presently needing to be dealt with. I’ve found that if I do that, as each moment arises, all the rest gets taken care of. There’s no time here, in a comment, to analyze the wherefore of it all. Just do what’s in front of you. My worries and concerns all get dealt with as each moment, the present, the NOW, is dealt with. And I’ve never found that I was incapable of just dealing with the NOW. You can’t handle it all, and you don’t need to. Bear your wishes and dreams in mind and deal honestly and guilelessly with loved ones in each moment and you’ll get there.
I wish I could offer you more but in essence, you have what you need for the present. Embrace it.
Hi there! Yes, what matters most is the present. I should face this present moment head-on. I’ve decided to finish what I’ve started, and when I’m done with this, I know deep inside, I can achieve what I have always wanted to do. I don’t know but I really have this feeling that I will get where I’ve always want to be, in the right time.
Thank you for your comment! :)
I can perfectly understand you girl, even i had been on the same track. I badly wanted to get my degree in automobile engineering, but due the booming demand for electronics those days, i was pushed into it. Initially even i started to regret, and weird thoughts started triggering within me, but positive motivation from my friends and my parents kick started my interest in the field of electronics. You should be proud of yourself, though you are not at all interested in electronics, you managed to reach out till your final year, which is absolutely no easy task, and it clearly indicates that you have the potential. Talk to your parents regarding this, let them know the exact truth. Whatever don’t drop out engineering when you have reached the final milestone, get your degree in electronics, and i am sure that education and knowledge will never go waste until we die, you can later on perceive any degree in your field of interest, and who knows the blend of knowledge from both the streams may evolve into some crazy innovative idea. Be strong, and wish you luck for your final year of engineering, cheers.
My Granddad used to tell me not to disregard all the people you meet in life, as they all, whether bad or good, a brief meeting or a long friendship, will teach you something. I believe that the same applies to your education. If the field you are in is not right for you, then it isn’t right for you! It isn’t the end of the world because you cannot tell me that you have not collected and adapted skills, knowledge, and applicable life lessons through your study in the field. All of these things are directly transferable to other areas of your life. Take a deep breath. Do your best, but ultimately realize that it is your life, and you direct the path you go down. You will never loose what you have learned, it will only ever be an asset to the rest of your life. (By the way, I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Glass Blowing and now I’m a paralegal. Seriously) :-)
Just want to tell you that flu causes depression, confusion, despair and altered thoughts. You probably were not well enough to have your full ability to take those quizzes anyway. What you need is plenty of fluids, rest, possibly a visit to your doctor, and for you take time to get over this illness properly, and , in the meanwhile do not take any decisions because your framework of thought will not be clear until; you are well.
Theres really nothing that I can tell you that you don’t already know. Its simple. Tell your parents. Its complicated and it isn’t easy, trust me I’ve also been there, but the simple things are always the hardest. Tell them, have a heart to heart with em, and even if it doesn’t work out, its still YOUR life. Life is meant to be lived on YOUR terms so fuck it! Have it your way because in the end you’ll look back and regret the times where you lived life less than your hearts desire.
Finish the year, then do something.
That something is up to you, but I advise not getting a 9-5 job. Go somewhere new. Save up now and buy a ticket to brazil, peru, portugal, bangladesh, indonesia, new zealand. Travel a bit and get an easy job there for a while, just a month or two. Live somewhere else, breathe different air, listen to another language, another culture.
It doesn’t fucking matter. Your panicking because you feel trapped in a tunnel where you don’t like the end. The thing is, there are no walls, you’ve made those up in your head.
Get your degree, it’s worth it to finish just the last stretch, but plan something big. Really big. Budget, make sure it can happen, and just go somewhere. When you run out of money (if*) you can come back and start applying for a higher paying job. But the likely scenario is you get new ideas, new motivations, new everything.
I totally understand your sense of desperation because I’ve also felt
lost and have realized I wasn’t on the correct path a couple of times
already, but I can tell you with certainty that suicide is not the
appropriate solution to this problem. I imagine that most parents would
much rather accept that their child has embraced a new career path
instead of attending their child’s funeral.
It is reasonable for
you to feel scared, overwhelmed, and depressed about your situation
since there is so much pressure to have life all figured out at an early
age. What’s helpful to remember, though, is that most people don’t find
their true purpose/calling from the very beginning. Most of us choose
to go down one path, discover that it’s not really right for us, choose a
different path, and eventually change our course again if that one
doesn’t feel right. What’s most important right now is what does and
doesn’t feel right to you. If you’re feeling dissatisfied and bored,
your soul is calling you to do something different. It doesn’t matter
how old you are or how much time you’ve spent pursuing a certain path.
When you feel stuck or unhappy with where you are, it’s time for a
change. It’s time to be brave and discover what you want from life.
of the lessons that many people like you and I are meant to learn is to
stop being people pleasers. We need to follow our own hearts and
discover our path for ourselves instead of seeking acceptance and
approval from our parents, friends, peers, and society. It sounds like
you aren’t happy with the path you are currently following, and it
sounds like you didn’t really choose it. Your parents chose it for you.
This is often the perfect recipe for unhappiness and discontentment. If
your parents initially react with anger, criticism, or disappointment
about your desire to pursue a new path, that is their problem. They are
not the ones who will live your life.
No one here can decide for
you what you should do with your future, but I seriously encourage you
to follow your heart and not succumb to fear. Do what makes sense to you. I’ll end this with an
appropriate quote by Joseph Campbell. “If you can see your path laid out
in front of you step by step, you
know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you
take. That’s why it’s your path.”
Lol, you sound like what I’ve gone through at that time as well, I took electrical/electronic engineering as well.
I had a lab report that could determine if I would fail the course or not and I didn’t want to do it at all near the end of my forth year, I encountered the same situation as you who didn’t want to keep going, wanted to stop and do something more interesting and so forth.
I’ve even stayed at university overnight playing flash games when there was a midterm or quiz the next morning and so forth.
Now that I look back to it it was all anxiety, stress, annoyance, and boredom built up from studying alone for the last 4 years or so and doing nothing significant to release the tension. The only advice I can say is grit your teeth and get it over with.
You are in the last stretch of your education and just step over the line even if you have to crawl. At this point if all else fail you can rely on your parents, just like my parents did to help me work and hand in the report at the university at 4am in the morning on the day that is was late-do and allowed me to pass the course.
Also, working it through with a friend is a good way to go about it as well. Keep going and never give up!
I dropped out of Kansas University my junior year
Moved to Maui, Hawaii with $900
In the two years since I left I’ve lived on two different Hawaiian islands and a 90 day vacation in Thailand/ Cambodia.
Haven’t been home since
Listen to your heart and most importantly, follow through.
i understand where you might be coming from, i know people who have changed their major 5 times even when they were about to graduate and some just got the degree to have an extra degree and headed back to school but there is absoulty nothing wrong with it, my husband changed his once but it just so happend it landed him in the right spot sometimes trying different things are good and help you to find new intrest and learn new things, i know its extremly stressfull and scary and you start to think to your self what if you never finish school and just not do anything at all. but i will promise that everything always gets better! and just talk to your parents let them know whats going through your mind communication will help them understand alot if they are willing to listen. i hope everything gets better.