hey everyone. I wanted to share something that’s been stuck on my mind for a while. I live in turkey and as most of you can guess, most of the population here consists of conservative people. Even though i live in Istanbul where most of the openminded people are situated and that i have surrounded myself with enlightened people, ı still often meet people who want to stay as a virgin untill they get married, who can’t stay at their boyfriends house because their family doesn’t let them even after their 20’s, or who believes in islam and believe that men are a superior race. These people really drive me crazy and most of the time i can’t stand having mutual friends with them. Sometimes even being in the same environment with them really bothers me. I can’t have a discussion without raising my voice and getting really pissed. This makes me feel stressed and unhappy most of the time but in the other hand i’m not sure if it is something that i should try to change about myself or if it is a good quality to be so passionate about my ideology. I would love to hear how you feel in these kinds of situations, and if you have any advise which could help me.
Hi, opinions are a thin layer of the total. Someone with a opposite opinion as yours, still can be loyal, friendly, honest, sincere etc. I can understand your feelings of frustration, and your compassion for more freedom. And yet I think understanding why you react so strong would be of more importance to me. Progression is good, but progression without kindness and understanding towards the opposite, doesn’t seems to work. You could try to be more relaxed, imho
hey thanks for replying, the reason that i react so strong probably is because even though i have an openminded family and friends, i still have to experience stuff that ristrict my freedom everyday because of conservatism. Maybe if i lived in a more free country i wouldn’t be so angry about this situation. Plus It’s not only the fact that my life gets affected, but knowing and seeing the families who don’t raise their children with equal conditions because of their gender also pisses me off. I know i should relax but it seems really hard for me in my situation.
Hi, I understand you. And no country has a ideal situation believe me. In many even rich and developed countries there is injustice. It’s great to be progressive and caring. And who fights, gets hurt.
The connection between a hammer and a nail is they both get hurt. You can either accept that, or try to focus on other stimulation. No one is completely good or evil. Even a conservative can be friendly and caring
The best way to think about a situation like this, to me, has been to make into a matter of ability and power. It doesn’t matter if your morals and values are better overall, if you can’t convince these people that they are it doesn’t matter. Detach yourself from lost causes, or at the very least the end goal and consequences of convincing them you’re right.
If you lived in the west world, you’d see that liberals are just as bad as, or even worse than, those backwards troglodytes.
Just be happy that you live in a place that isn’t enslaved by that generic international “open minded” zombie hive mind.
I think I would fall under your definition of conservative, I myself being a firm Catholic. I understand your feelings of being stressed, etc. when around people who think opposite of you; though for me it is when I am around what some would label as “liberals”. I think that labels are a bunch of bullshit, frankly, because only a handful of people actually fit into the stereotypes associated with said labels. For example, there are some “conservative” people from the “dark ages” that I would argue are much more “enlightened” than anyone you have come across, such as St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Bonaventure.
More on topic to your question, I would recommend that you keep people around you that disagree with you for a couple of reasons:
1) They might have some truth that you would never learn unless you let them be around you.
2) You might have some truth that they would never learn unless they were around you.
I personally love the fact that you are so passionate about your ideology. As a very religious person myself, I have found that I have more in common with passionate atheists than lukewarm Christians because at least those who are passionate admit that questions of God and morality actually matter.
Keep searching for the truth, friend!
I would offer that it is something you should try to change about yourself – isn’t that the only place where real change can come from? Be passionate about values, especially universal ones, but don’t be passionate about an ideology. Do not be an ideologue! That is a mistake that those on the left and the right make. Conservatism is noble – ‘conserve’ what is best in society – but not when it becomes an ideology, bound to structures and traditions that become blind or harden against positive change, growth and thought. Similarly liberal views, though they offer societies and individuals a path to connect and reawaken those universal values of peace, love and respect that enrich our understanding of ourselves and others, when liberalism becomes an ideology then hate and intolerance are accepted and even encouraged as we so frequently see today in the so-called progressive movements. It is fear that drives ideology. Do not chose fear – do not chose one side or the other.
The key, I think, is to free yourself from all ideology, free yourself from left/right thinking and do not adopt the label of either. Recognize the value of both viewpoints, and that both are necessary for a stable and progressive world. Be above it, but do not judge. Gently help others to understand their fear, but do not argue, nor listen to argument. Simply be and let be.
Just some thoughts that have helped me….