Recently, I’ve noticed that depression and its awareness is on the increase and there has been quite a lot of focus surrounding it. More and more people are coming out with their stories of depression and are told how brave they were. I recently read a blog ( http://ccusack111.blogspot.ie/2013/10/depression-is-friend-not-my-enemy_28.html ) and in the comments, some people have said how it moved them to tears reading it and how beautiful and brave the writer was.
Being completely honest, I just thought “meh, so?”. I’ve stopped caring about depression. Suicide, I still do but depression, I seem to have the same “good for you, now get over it” attitude.
I think the main problem with it lately is the portrayal of how difficult it is to get out of and the “oh woe is me” attitude many people who suffer from depression have. I find it quite egotistical in that way. I hear quite a lot of “oh I can’t do that, I’m depressed” to which I usually respond “okay, then get over your depression” and they reply “It’s not that easy”. I’m sorry, but yes, it is. I mean, sure, the actual getting over it may be difficult and may take a while, but the idea is no more complicated than that. People make it part of their personality, make it who they are and I’m having trouble sympathising with that.
It could be the terminology often used, the “I’m depressed”… no, you’re not. You are not depressed. You may be going through a state of depression but you, as a person, are not depressed. It is not who you are, stop making it so. I could also be the easy access to anti-depressants which are given out left, right and centre but that’s another story.
Don’t get me wrong, I know what it’s like. I have gone through depression, most people have and I have no problem helping people out of it but do not expect me to feel sorry for you. Do not expect me to buy into the “woe is me” attitude. Do not expect me to call you beautiful and brave. Do not expect me to feed your ego to make you feel better.
Does anyone else feel this way?
@caoimhesweeney, That’s it; real depression is not quick fixed by comforting words or sympathy, it is not a case of philosophising your way out of it either, it is something you live with and power through, strength ultimately comes from within, you do not need charity but at the same time you shouldn’t feel alone, or at least you shouldn’t feel like you will always be alone.
People are ultimately pack/social creatures and they need to connect with others, but they also need to feel useful or have some purpose, to be appreciated, that is not solved by being told you are appreciated, it is solved by a person doing something to be appreciated for.
It is hollow if you do nothing to be appreciated for but people tell you they appreciate you anyway, but if you do things, even if no one tells you, you at least build an appreciation for yourself, and that is what really matters.
I’m not sure where I stand according depression anymore. I agree with you, but this attitude only helps ourselves. And people with depression have this need. To be helped by something impersonal, like a song, a movie, a book, a forum, something that helps them in a rather escaping way, because what helps is the self-recognition in what’s distant rather than close. And what’s distant is closer to them than their loved ones. I’m speaking in third person, though I speak from experience as well. Because it’s not so bad to look at a distant thing, even if that distant thing is more comprehensible and better known than what’s in front of us. So why not look at what’s in front of us like it’s distant to someone else?
@caoimhesweeney, I kinda have to agree with you on this. I recently got myself out of a depression , which i surprised myself i didn’t know i could do that. And i mean all i had to do was just say i had enough, i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. I like to try to help people who are depressed..and i tell them you just gotta do it, go look yourself in the mirror and scream you had enough and go make your life better, and they come up with all kinds of excuses and blah blah. I just wanna slap the shit outta them lol like stop with the excuses. Obviously what your doing isn’t working so how bout you try something else. They talk about killing themeless and how they are a failure. I’m like if your life was such shit you would be dead already, your still living for a reason.
@caoimhesweeney, I’m on the same page as you. People looking for sympathy for depression are themselves weak… I actually look down on them. I have the “i don’t care” attitude either.. am I horrible? Maybe. Maybe not.
I believe it’s something you power through as well.
I go through a depressed state of mind more so in the winter months, who doesn’t?
I’ve come to feel that when you’re down, those are the times you need to reflect the most, to train your mind to deal with your thoughts and feelings. Not necessarily a time to dwell in them and look for sympathy as they continue to consume your existence.
A depressed state of mind is a not a healthy one, nor a fufilling one. Move on and stop and complaining. I don’t care either… I have one person in my life I’ll talk to abou this, but he is the same way. We talk about how we are working on it, and how we are going to drudge through it this time, making our minds stronger as to not become depressed in the first place. Making sure we’re active enough to get those endorphines going and not become lazy, which helps that depression settle in in my opinion. And we talk about how weak everyone with “depression” is.
I think it’s a state of mind that you can change. It just takes work. But I don’t care either to hear about sob stories of the weak minded.