i realize this is long and somewhat drawn out, but that is how my experience with the closest thing to pure DMT, ayahuasca, has been. this is also somewhat of a vent for me because i am still processing some of the details myself. but it got me to join the blog!
fyi-i believe DMT is not only released in our brains when we die, but also when we dream, and they say 41 days after conception in a woman’s body (thus the "spirit" part of a fetus). i can’t remember how i first heard about DMT, but after i first heard of it i was in the library (about a year and a half ago) and stumbled upon a book; DMT: The Spirit Molecule. pretty dense and didn’t read it all but it was the scientific approach of some hippie scientists who did all sorts of trials with different amounts and different methods of taking it. oddly enough the scientists had worked out of the university i was attending. it was then i learned about DMT’s role in ayahuasca, a ceremonial tea/sludge made by shamans from plants and vines from the amazon. soon after my health psychology teacher brought in a modern day shaman/minister for a guest lecture. he went on about how ayahuasca cured his severe depression he has suffered from his whole life. you can actually pay to do a legal ceremony with this "church" where they guide you through a healing journey. many have been enlightened with a different perspective on the world, as i think every one is when they do any psychoactive drug, and some cured from physical as well as emotional/ mental dis-eases.
soon after this, a family friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and i found out she had been doing ayahuasca ceremonies as part of her healing plan (which was all natural with herbs). she was healing but there is only so much your body can do against cancer, so she had surgery, we visited soon after to join her in ceremony. beautiful experience; looking back, i wish i had taken more, but it was an amazing body high for a while (after i threw up), some tears of joy and pain, bliss, chanting, amazing music from the shaman (an eye surgeon) and his wife darkness, self evaluation all while many around me were going through their own purging and healing experiences, but i definitely saw and danced with the "mother" who "provides you with what you can handle", which was to rid me of pain at the time. though my boyfriend did a huge dose…and def met some demons, which has made him a better person, but he was very scared for a while,(thought he was going to die, didn’t know if it would end) as much as i tried to warn him i don’t know if he was completely prepared for what he went through.
a month or so after all of this, i found out that a friend who had committed suicide had been part of a group that did monthly ceremonies. and many "blame" the drug directly. there is a part of me that was deeply saddened by this, but i found comfort in knowing that he was on his cosmic journey, enlightened and sped up by ayahuasca, and needed to leave this reality.
unfortunately, the cancer my friend had has spread into her brain. and she has warned us that she "will be leaving". but hearing her speak so positively about her own journey, and knowing that she is ready due to her experiences with the mother, it all seems ok. there is an upcoming ceremony, and i have been debating weather i should make the 6 hour drive to participate, but honestly, as intrigued as i am, it scares the shit out of me as well, and i think one life changing experience is enough for the year, but one day i think i will want to prepare myself to visit "the mother" again, although i know she is now always in me.
wow, glad to share, but that was a lil ridiculous, hope it didn’t bore u all to death
It’s a natural chemical secreted in your brain that is released en masse when you die. Buttt if you smoke a synthesized form of it, you experience the most insane trip of your life. Essentially what happens is you go unconscious for 5-10 minutes but experience what feels to be 2 hours of traveling through different dimensions. The weird thing is many people report having extremely similar trips — specifically that they were given information about life by alien-like beings.
By the way, DMT is completely healthy & grows naturally in many plants and on the back on a certain species of toad.
Crazy right? Has anyone ever tried it? I’ve attempted to do it twice but I think I was sold bunk
Here’s a video of Joe Rogan talking about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grcqs9cDuN8
And here is the DMT experience vault on Erowid: http://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_DMT.shtml
The book is pretty awesome, def got me interested. A couple of shamans will leave their country for the first time to visit holland to do a kind of spirit quest, 3 days of meditation/yoga and 2 ayahusca trips (Active ingredient is DMT). Im planning to do it and write an article about it!
What kind of effect did it had on you Brittney?
@brittney no but I’ve had an ebook of it on my computer forever. Just gotta find some time to read it!
@martijn can’t wait to fly to Amsterdam and attend that workshop with you. What an epic way to meet, eh?
@cameron Aren’t acid and shrooms fucking awesome? I love psychedelics. DMT seems to be the final frontier of trips. Definitely update us if you do get your hands on it
-Martijn: Basically, I read the book two summers ago on a whim, before I had opened my mind to a broader range of ideas. I was raised Catholic, so the book made me really think and question everything I had been taught my whole life (ex: death, “afterlife”, god). It really freaked me out at first because I was questioning everything and tripping out on life that entire summer. Now I realize that the book awakened an inner thirst for learning about life, spirituality, existence, and more! Definitely a positive effect!
-Martijn and Jordan: There better be an epic blog post about this DMT experience :)
Wow Brittney, I bet you’re glad you stumbled on that book eh? My “awakening” was brought on by a book called “The New Psycho-Cybernetics” which talks about the science of why positive thinking can have a physical effect on your life. And hell ya, we’ll both write very detailed trip reports.
Not to be that guy, but DMT is soooo 2010. Ha jk, but seriously: Ibogaine.
Not only does it provide one of the most profound and effective introspective experiences of pretty much any hallucinogen ever, it IMMEDIATELY alleviates the symptoms of opiate addiction/withdrawal. Check out http://www.lunartproductions.com for more detailed info.
P.S. My buddy and I tried DMT with a Shaman in Seattle. Pretty much went how our friend Joe Rogan explained. Had about a 1.5 grams (I think) in a little tin pan, lit it from the bottom and inhaled the fumes. Did that 3 times in quick successions getting nice hits each time, then tripped hard for about 7 minutes. I thought about death. But I wasn’t scared, just in absolute awe. Good luck on your journey in Holland!
There are some amazing studies being done on Ibogaine, im waiting till some more literature is out there to try it myself, definately very interesting.
@ Brittney, sounds amazing, the book kinda gave you a new perspective on god and the meaning of life, I know that can be really confrontational in the beginning. Im reading a sort off folow up at the moment, its called Tryptamine Palace: 5-MeO-DMT and the Sonoran Desert Toad by James Oroc and it goes much deeper, really interesting so far (Im not really convinced by his theories yet, but very interesting to find out more what hes talking about!)
@ Tyler, did you ever use another tryptamine, can you compare it?
-Jordan: It’s amazing how one book, one person’s ideas, can have such an effect on another person’s perspective… just as a blog can :) I will definitely look into your awakening book. It sounds like a good read.
-Martijn: Exactly! Wow I didn’t know there was a follow-up book already. Sounds interesting, I’ll have to put that one on my list too.
@tyler how did DMT compare to salvia? (i can only assume you have tried salvia if you have done DMT). I found Joes explanation about DMT similar to my experience with salvia, but without the pulsating lights and what not. I can only think of the movie “contact” to describe it. I definitely had a strong feeling of “So this is it? this is the end summation of my life?” Then fighting very hard to come back to reality because i was unsatisfied with my “life story” as it was presented to me.
Not bored at all…thanks for sharing. I’m sorry about your friends…
What did you “see” when you had this experience?
I grew up in a very spiritual family in Northern california so Ive experienced a lot of open minded ideas such as group meditions, energy work, and I’ve been blessed to meet a lot of interesting people. One of them an older gentleman who I have become close with talks about his experience traveling to Peru and doing Ayauasca with the local Shamans. He described it as “flying” but which really fascinated me was the way he described how the Shamans have buckets out for people to puke in. He said that people would take the drug and throw up for hours puking up their ego. He talked about how after taking the drug and “puking out their ego” their consciousness was raised Instead of living from their ego they move to their heart space and transcend the fear related to insecurity. This is also interesting because ive read about and spoken with friends who have done LCD and experienced a similar experience where during that period of time on the drug they have a clearer mind and live more in the moment. Then also after they came down they were inspired to live everyday with a clearer mind and more in the moment. Ive never done LCD and Im planning on going to Peru to have this experience with Ayahuasca after I graduate but Im curious if any of you can relate to these ideas about “raised consciousness” after doing LCD or Ayahausca?
@matthew I can definately relate to what you wrote and I find it extremely interesting. The relation between psychedelic drugs and religion can be found in pretty much every religion I ever read about and mystics throughout the ages report the same experiences as some people have on these drugs. Im going to do ayahusca in april with peruvian shamans and will write a blog about it. I haven’t done LSD yet but shrooms, which are legal here, was amazing and the feeling of a less stronger ego was so much more ‘natural’. Can’t find another word for it.
@dylan P I definately thought (haha) that too and what helped me was readings tons of Alan Watts. I also got this book recommended to me http://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life/dp/1572244259 which is based on ACT therapy.
I have not read the book yet, but I have taken DMT in ayahuasca form. About five years ago I met a friend who had just been down in Peru studying with a shaman and I was so intrigued by his experiences that I quit my job and booked a ticket to go down with him on his next trip. We stayed with the shaman and his family for two months. He held ceremonies twice per week in his house for the locals. I wasn’t seeking help for an illness or specific problem, I was pretty much just along for the ride.
After a shot glass full, I think it took about 20 minutes to kick in and lasted for about 4 hours. There was definitely an insane amount of vomiting for me in the beginning, but after it passed, it was a beautiful experience. The body high was similar to shrooms, just way more intense, powerful vibrations. I’ll try to describe a few visions without taking up too much space here! My very first vision…when I first started feeling nauseous, I saw a group of tiny peruvian women holding something large and heavy and they seemed to be saying “we can’t hold this for much longer”. It became clear that they were actually holding my stomach full of vomit and I was trying really hard to hold it in! I wasn’t sure how to navigate my way to the door in the pitch dark without disrupting everyone in the room, but I knew I had to go, so I tugged on my friend and he helped me out. The purging seemed to last forever. Seriously. I did not know how it was even possible to vomit that much. I was urged to go back inside to the safety of the ceremony, where you are protected by the shaman. It was explained later that you are vulnerable to spiritual attack if you wander too far. Once inside, I tried not to think too much about anything, I just listened to the icaros sung by the shaman, each one calling upon specific spirits to help in healing. Each person is called up to sit in front of the shaman for individual healing. When it was my turn I began to cry a bit, unsure where this emotion was coming from, but it literally felt as though he was pulling grief from my body. I was going on six months clean from heroin addiction at this point and I think I was releasing shame and regret.
I also saw a spirit/ghost for the first time one night and I was later told it may have been the shaman’s mother, who was a shaman herself. We were all sitting in the dark, but my eyes were open and she caught my attention because she was standing, shuffling towards the shaman. I kept blinking and opening my eyes wider and wider as I could not believe what I was seeing. I was a bit scared/shocked, waiting to see what would happen. She looked electric, no color, black & white. She turned and looked right at me and held my gaze for a moment, which instantly put me at ease. Then she just looked away and moved closer to the shaman. She was so clear to me, skeletal, hunchbacked, very short, a few strands of long grey hair, in a dress, eyes dimly glowing. That was pretty exciting!
One more…my most memorable experience. On a tuesday, about two hours into the ceremony I get this urge to look up and when I do, a beam of light envelopes me. I instantly feel pure joy and happiness. Then the sensation of holding a newborn in my arms. I am looking down at it, smiling, although I can’t actually see it’s face. The next ceremony on saturday was a tough one for me. I was really sick, violently vomiting and when I was outside I was afraid to go back into the ceremony for some reason. I stayed out in the moonlight for a long time until I felt like something was closing in on me from all around the house. I went back in and struggled through. The next day I find out that the shaman had told someone in the house “I was with child” but that I lost it when I was purging. My biggest regret was not brushing up on my spanish before the trip. Much was lost in translation unfortunately.
@kathleen – this is why I joined too! I am sorry to hear about your friends. The shaman I saw was treating a young man with AIDS while we were there and I learned that he had passed away a few months after we left.
@martijn – by any chance are you going to Iquitos? Have a great time and I’ll definitely look out for your blog.
after reading about what the trip felt like I’m so intrigued to try thiss…
the only thing that I’d be worried about is the vomiting :-/ I’m going to assume that when inhaling pure dmt your just going to get the high/trip… i saw a nat geo documentary about some ppl who went to (can’t remember where right now! too long ago) try the ayahuasca with a shaman and tribes people who were going through a rite of passage ceremony… and basically they were filmed to show what they looked like from an outside perspective. It was an american couple, a guy who was their guide in the country, and I believe a tribes person who were all filmed… the girl vomited etc… started hallucinating. But her boyfriend started vomiting, a lot, and having very strong hallucinations. After about two hours he started shaking/shivering violently and the tribal people and camera crew started getting worried he was having some kind of allergic reaction and they almost took him to a hospital. Everyone was fine in the end… but what I’m saying is that vomiting is not really a good sign, right? like isn’t that your bodies reaction to poisons, despite what your brain “signals” are “telling” you is happening?
I’m feeling like inhaling “clean” dmt though might be pretty ill
To add… If you are really after that feeling of “realization” or epiphany you can try amphetamines (mind you I’ve never tried any hallucinogens)…
A high dose of amphetamines makes your mind race like crazy, and your overcome with this excitement and purified joy/euphoria… and the thing is your mind is just thinking so very clearly, its like a fog was lifted, everything gets sharper literally. Your vision is amplified, your senses are 10x stronger, hearing, body. Like you feel alive, and you can really think about anything you want in a very “pure” and clear way. Hahaha try to see how long you can stay up with that in your system (I’m wagering 72 hours) and how you’re mindset “changes” on the third day.
I’ve tried aderal/ritalin which are pure amphetamine. (Without the toxins of street drugs ;)
My friend has some and he’s waiting to smoke it! I want to get some too and try it. :)
I have read a lot about it and am surrounded by a few close people that are decently educated on the subject and serious about doing it soon. I wish I could experience it along with them, but I am absolutely not ready. these shared experiences are inspiring though. thank you all for them :)