I was wondering if someone has a feeling about having a soulmate and a connection to somebody else. I haven’t felt anything like that and I’m curious. I would love to find a person who could give me a feeling about emotional or intellectual connection or even feeling about soulmate… If there is such a thing called soulmate. What do you think?
You wouldn’t know it until it blows your mind repeatedly.
Well I guess we can say that there is such a thing called soulmate, ’cause it’s a word created and by time defined by people who felt a certain way about another person that they had to use another word than love.. But how it would feel.. well Sasho pretty much nails it doesn’t he, so maybe he has tried it ;-)
But if you’re thinking whether there a certain someone and ONLY that someone for you, then I’ll have to say no I don’t think so, reaching a state of relationsship that makes you feel that you’ve found your soulmate, is imho as much about your feelings towards yourself as it is about the relationsship..(will you ever feel complete acceptance, if You don’t have complete acceptance of yourself?) Not saying that it’s independent of the partner you end up with, but I would put emphasis on the you-part more than the partner-part..
@gismo, I think it’s about natural attuning, which however random is the almost same as the other person. By blowing your mind repeatedly I mean that the both persons are feeling the same way the same things. Sounds like total crap, right? It is! I don’t believe in soul mates, I just think that a soul mate is just that, not believing in it and then witnessing it literally full circle. But I think a person needs to find himself half way first and have an understanding of himself in order to need that other person that will help him see himself as he is in full frame. I’m so smart I have no idea what I just said.
@hhildur, I think to meet your soul mate (which could be any number of people actually), you have to live in accordance with your deepest values, and become your highest self. The right person can and will help you become this, but if you haven’t even figured out who you are, where you’re going, or where you want to go, how can there be a right person? The logical response to these truths would then be to focus on improving yourself, and always try to meet new friends. I say friends because if one walks around with the intention to meet someone to start a romantic relationship with, it’s easy to rush into something you don’t actually want. The more people you know, the more your social web expands in every direction and the higher likelihood you find those like minds that you’ll enjoy spending time with. Out of this is where healthy relations will spring.
@hhildur, I think that you definitely can meet someone who fully understands you and that you share the deepest sort of connection with. However, even if you do one day find this other person, I don’t think it’s necessary to place a label on them and your relationship.
I was with a girl for almost four years who I connected with on a level deeper than anyone else I have ever known before. We knew each other inside out and had the sort of relationship where, without even saying a word, you just knew what that other person was thinking or feeling. I believe that if I would have purposely placed the label of soul mate upon her though, I would have started using it as an excuse to take the relationship for granted, a sort of crutch. To assume that everything would always be okay regardless of whether or not we were both still making a conscious effort to keep the relationship alive and healthy, I think that would be a form of laziness, a sign of disconnection. You have to work hard for the people you care about. Having a connection that deep with someone else comes with a very high form of responsibility. Nothing is guaranteed in life and you can’t just expect that the “mystical forces of destiny” are going to make your life complete. An honest effort needs to be made, and if you can find that person who is willing to make the same effort in return, then it is very likely you have found the one you can call soul mate, if you choose to.
Maybe without even realizing it, I started to take things for granted myself. Maybe I started to get too comfortable and assumed that everything would always be okay, assumed that the connection would take care of itself. My relationship fell apart and from that experience I quickly learned that nothing is handed directly to you. You have to fight for what you believe in or it will slowly start to drift away.
All I am saying is, you are the one who gets to decide how to find a soul mate, not the other way around.
Your soulmate is yourself. It is the entire Universe. In the physical human manifestation it is the reflection of both in another. It is another human whose energy frequency is so complementary to your own that it creates a feeling of strong connectivity and higher resonance. Its a simple explanation of something most people struggle to explain.
I agree with @tangledupinplaid21 this connection can be made with many people, but only when you are at inner peace of yourself.
So yes, you can have a soulmate. But you need to accept it could be anyone. If you carry any expectations of such a connection you will never have one. So be warey of that and keep your mind free of expectations. Then these connections will naturally manifest in your life.
@beyond, so basically you’re saying the partner is more important than you in regards to finding a soulmate..? I don’t know, as I also end up writing stuff I don’t even get ;-D but I see logic in your approach.. The “partner-part” I was talking about is the natural attuning and from that perspective I would guess we can agree that multiple different partners can furfill that role of the atunee? (might be a word only in my universe ;-P)
But in regards to the balance of the two “parts” I like how you put it with “halfways first”, but what is the definition of halfway?
If eternal bliss is all the way, then I guess “halfway there” could be sufficient recognition of own values and direction in life (much in line with @tangledupinplaid21) so that you may be in a position to fully appreciate the attuning you would be witnessing throughout your relationsship, emotionally dumbfounding you over and over.. The last part is why I think your description was quite fitting even though your later defintion begs the question, how would you know that the other person is feeling what you are are feeling other than the fact that you might use the same words to describe it? or is that simply just the definition of a soulmate for you? someone extracting exactly the same emotions from another perspective of the same situation experienced?
I can’t help wondering whether one part of a relationsship can really have the feeling of having found his/her soulmate, but the other one then ends up dumping the soon to be veeeerryyy sad person..
Do we define the difference between someone having found their soulmate or not, by the lasting of the relationsship? the mutual reflection of soulmate-status between the two? or simply just by one person feelings being expressed as having found his/her soulmate?
I guess the mutual reflection part stands out, at least for me, from an “outside” perspective, but if I was in a relationsship (“inside” perspective) where I felt that I’ve found my soulmate, then that’s my reality unaffected by the truthfullness of the statement isn’t it?
I’m just shooting of the top of my mind, so I hope I’m making any kind of sense..
@gismo, I don’t believe that “anyone” could be your soul mate. That’s the fantasy surrounding the soul mate notion you can’t start believing in, because people differ from moral views, tastes, values, interests and even standards just as much as inherited and natural qualities, temperaments and developed perceptions. Anyone believing that anyone else could be their soul mate is a shallow belief ignoring the details. Just because two people believe in soul mates, doesn’t mean they are alike, it means they’re infatuated by each other. That’s actually normal. Being mind blown by similarities is the peak of normal. It’s when you’re seeing beauty in the things that you usually don’t and they happen to be the things you don’t appreciate in yourself until you meet that someone else and the only thing left to do is growing together. That’s basically my definition. It’s a little poetic. :)
I think the word “soul mate” is overrated. With this words comes a lots of expectation in our own mind. The truth about a relationships (as i have understood from my own experiences) is that you would meet people in your journey of life who you vibrate with, your energy is elevated around such people and they are able to bring out the best in you. I agree @punker96, you gotta work for such people in your lives so you can bring out the best in them too. Secondly, we expect to find our “soul mate” or the person we imagine we would best resonate with only when we become that person. But the best we could do for ourselves is to stay true to our hearts and i believe that right people will come along :)
@beyond, we agree on the fact that not anyone can be your soulmate (should this concept even exist and not just be another word for the same thing, love..) but there’s a big difference in saying that only One person or for that matter Anyone can furfill the alignment/attuning and saying “multiple” (not everyone) of the 7-8 billion people on earth.. But basically I have a hard time accepting the concept “soulmates” as anything other than a redefinition of love, even though your definition was both poetic and beautiful ;-)
As @sonika22 said, I plan on following my heart and if that brings an experience that I want to define as “finding my soulmate” then that’s exactly what it’ll be, but as I’m constantly trying Not to put up expectations for anything and just experience, I’m surely not gonna break that habit by longing for a soulmate-concept which we can’t seem to define other than “You just know”..
What a wonderful replies! Wow, thanks.
During this two weeks I have thought this a lot. And yesterday I found that I have met someone and I have gone crazy with that overrated word “soulmate”. I like this person very much and I had already decided that “she will be my soulmate! she will understand!” and I got anxious when my expectations didn’t come true.
So, I solved this by accepting. I will accept that maybe there is someone who will fully understand me and be my emotional and intellectual soulmate, or maybe not. Or maybe I must work hard for that.