Do you think social anxiety is an illusion?

C3 (@thenameless) 9 years, 10 months ago

I sort of think it is. I used to have really bad social anxiety, but now I know it was all about the people I was around. This makes me realize that maybe its not me, or not ourselves at all, but its other people, their vibes. Unfortunately, because of the lack of community in solidarity in public schools and many work places, we feel isolated and sometimes feel frustrated trying to communicate with some people. I think that the cause of my social anxiety, was not being accepted for who I am by mainstream society, and what I thought was social anxiety was just the negative vibes from people who I could sense were judging, and weren’t welcome to my presence because they could sense I wasn’t part of mainstream society.

But yet, society says its us, we are told we have mental illness’, severe social anxiety, and aspergers which makes us feel like its US who are the problem, but I don’t think thats true. I think its other people’s vibes that are the problem, because if you are round positive and accepting vibes, then you will feel relaxed and able to communicate freely. Mainstream society doesn’t try to make people feel comfortable, and I think authorities give labels to people who are “different” to make them feel bad about themselves.

I got into a big argument about this on facebook, and people argued back about how some people really are “different”, and then others who weren’t even involved in the argument got pissed about it and started this thing where they all mocked me behind my back(in real life) about how I’m some lunatic, or “egotistical, and thinks hes more ‘enlightened’ then everyone” because of that and the new age philosophy stuff that I post.

August 15, 2012 at 10:13 am
Anonymous (0) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I personally think that it’s all about the individual. I totally get that some people’s vibes can make you uneasy but it’s really you just making yourself uneasy in my opinion.

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kirkwilly (35) (@kirkwilly) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Hmm interesting, I’ll say my point and you could make what you want of it.
I think it is a real definitive personality disorder, now I’m saying this without any research but I don’t believe there is medication only therapy, isn’t it? Well I say there is self healing and people learning on their own how to cure themselves, but you have to be aware of yourself first.

so my POINT: Yes it very well could be an illusion, but it’s a powerful mind trick!

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@wabasabi, WORD!!! Are you captain trips…?

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Anonymous (291) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I really respect your theory on this, and it’s not that far off at all.

It definitely is an illusion, a trick of the mind, as Kirk said an incredibly powerful trick of the mind. I believe its the minds way of protecting itself from the unknown, from what makes us uneasy.. In my case, it’s not the vibes of people, its the possibility of what’s waiting behind the faces in the unknown. Again, the repetition of the unknown. By repeatedly placing yourself in those situations, you condition yourself to realize that there is NOTHING to be anxious about.

I think it has a lot to do with a persons insecurities, and their past traumas, that may drive them to fear social environments. By over coming this fear, no more anxiety. Hence, self healing. I’ve had a pretty severe case of social anxiety, again from past traumas my mind was trying to protect my body from, and emotional side. By beating this, placing myself in situations that put me to near panic attacks showed my subconscious mind that the people I was accustom to hiding in the places I feared socially, were not there.

In many cases, its different. Many places give off bad vibes, but I honestly believe a persons experiences impact greatly on the extent of ones social anxiety. Combine the conditioned mind of said experiences and outcomes to feed off of the external elements at play makes this difficult.

And the US is only making it a problem to give out more pills to make more money. That’s a consumer ball game whose only purpose is to increase the problem and create more money through consumerism.

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Dominika (55) (@dominika) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I think social anxiety is not a real disorder (there are few “disorders” that are more than just an excuse to make money), but i dont think its because of other people. How we see other people merely reflects who we are as a person. Its not that some people have bad vibes. its that some people give you bad vibes, and you perceive it that way because of your own thoughts and feelings, be it conscious or subconscious. Anxiety is a manifestation of one’s fears and insecurities.

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Anonymous (0) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@tangledupinplaid21, I am indeed :) We should start talking again.

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@wabasabi This.

Social anxiety is nothing but the social dissonance that comes from being social when you have made yourself accustomed to being asocial.

There are two options: A) Be a bitch and let it discourage you. B) Push through it and dissolve the non-issue.

Anxiety is nothing but the discomfort of leaving your stupid comfort zone and not handling it correctly.

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@wabasabi, that’s what I was thinkin. :)

@manimal, when the fuck are you writing a book?

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@tangledupinplaid21, I was planning it for next year. Though, not now means never, so I’m doing a bit of writing already.

Discussing things on a site like this is great for learning what topics to highlight and how the audience thinks and how to explain things, I save some of my replies and then refine them for use on the blog and later in a book. So this is part of working on it.

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KellyM (107) (@kellah) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@thenameless, Honestly, I think life is an illusion based on perception. anxiety is worrying about whatever, however, you could choose not to worry about anything. It is all in the power of choice

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Social anxiety is real. But the concept was invented to categorize issues, it’s not bad for you, it’s just SO MODERN AND POPULAR AND EVERYONE IS FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT! So is the term “Society”. Which if you really ask if it is an illusion or not, then maybe you’re not really in touch with reality, which isn’t very ambitious. :D People suck. Don’t feel anxiety because of them.

If you are in touch with reality, you’ll see that social anxiety is nothing more than bullshit so doctors can have work to do and for people to make friends. Oh.

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Anonymous (512) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@beyond, Very cynical, but fairly accurate in my estimation.

Social anxiety is a classification of a perceived ‘illness’. Doctors profit off of it, patients suffer because of it. It’s a paradoxical issue.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe reasoned that the more one looks at their health, the more one appears to be sick. I advise everyone to pay heed to these words before popping their next pill.

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keeghan white (15) (@keeghanwhite) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

social anxiety is YOUR fear of not being accepted and judged in a negative way. People who do not have social anxiety do not fear what other people think of them, well not as much. i believe everyone is somewhat insecure of what others opinions of them are, but people with severe social anxiety are terribly scared of others and will not show their true selves to others for fear of negative judgement. judgement is inevitable, people with social anxiety just need to accepted it, and not depend on others for their own acceptance. self acceptance and a lack of care for others judgements is the best way to cure social anxiety. i know because i once did. just think why do people have social anxiety? its a fear and they are fearing other people. why are they fearing others? it is relative and the desire for acceptance for others is not the only reason for social anxiety, but usually is the reason.

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@optimystic, When something like this is shoved down people’s throats I cannot help but be cynical, and not giving a fuck about it is the best approach for socially awkward penguins – they are actually not pretending to be someone else and feel better when they realize that they’re being fucking real! And no one should feel obligated to put up with all the bullshit that’s expected from some closed-minded individuals that just cannot get out of their comfort standards they so pathetically and miserably adapted to. Hooray for awkwardness.

And there’s something I believed when I was younger, it went something like this “I’d rather embarrass myself in front of friends than trying to make an impression in front of everybody” And, well. That works splendidly. Although it’s good to know that everyone can be a real friend if you feel comfortable around them and that is if those around you are being real and sincere with themselves in your presence. So practicing that is usually helping any kind of anxiety.

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Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 8 years ago ago

Yes, you can! If you’re not cynical people will think you’re a random girl. Hopefully pretty.

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Suereyya (164) (@drapetomania) 8 years ago ago

Sometimes I prefer socially awkward penguins over dense motherfuckers. Insanity wolves are pretty okay too, I guess.

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TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I used to have bad social anxiety, until I realised that having anxiety about social situations was just giving my power away to these other people. But I changed when I realized I never cared what they thought in the first place, so in reality they have no power over me to make me feel uncomfortable, or anything except what I choose. I mean, I used to not want to wear shirts of my favorite characters to school for fear that it would invite conflict – now I look back and see how rediculous that was.

No one is really that different, it’s all in the head and you can choose to believe in it or not – but like you said, authorities, or just people, like to make you think you are different for purposes of exclusion, or to make you feel uncomfortable for their own gain – don’t give these pieces of fucktoast the advantage they want. Just know who your real friends are, and don’t waste energy worrying about the rest. Don’t even give the bastards a minute of your thoughts – you shouldn’t, because you are in charge of what your thoughts are. And of course, just relax and have fun! That does a lot to diffuse other peoples’ anxiety as well as yours.

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Suereyya (164) (@drapetomania) 8 years ago ago

I agree with most of what you say, but I can’t stress the fact that you should always look at things from different perspectives enough.
I get what you mean by saying that some people are less accepting than others, which in turn makes you feel uncomfortable. But then again – why would you want to be accepted by someone who makes you feel that way anyway?

The point of that person you’ve become and made yourself to be, is not to be ‘accepted’ by people, but that you accept yourself as who you are, and change if you’re not happy with it. You’re not supposed to be a people pleaser, you should be a “self pleaser”. If they don’t like you, move away from those people. You’re not obliged to change into someone who fits their scheme. It’s also not up to them to make you feel comfortable. Society’s an inconsiderate asshole in some ways, and don’t think you owe them something.

=> “If you’re not making enemies, you’re doing it wrong.”
Worrying about people tolerating, accepting or liking ‘you’ will only put more stress on yourself than anyone else. You’re not made to be everyone’s darling – if you were, then there might be something wrong with you, because obviously, not everyone can be your fan.
To a certain point it might be true that being around people who send off negative vibes make you feel anxious. But on the other hand, no one’s forcing you to feel that way, and a lot of this anxiety is probably only a product of your imagination.
Most people don’t feel entirely accepted either, and by seeming arrogant and judgmental on the outside, they’re doing nothing but trying to hide their own insecurities – sometimes the ones who seem the most confident are also the ones who are more than fucked up.

Anyway, I’m having some trouble explaining what I really mean. Can’t really put my thoughts into words today.
But I feel like writing so here’s a short story:

I graduated from High School a month ago and to celebrate that, all seniors dressed up differently each day for one week. Monday: Punks, Tuesday: Farmers, Wednesday: Pirates, Thursday: Gender Switch, Friday: Orient.
When I got on the bus in the morning all dressed up, people wouldn’t quit staring at me and making dumb comments (especially on Monday, I was wearing red lipstick, some fake piercings, red and black socks, high boots, a leather jacket and had weird hair).
At the end of the week I got used to people staring, chuckling, cursing, and whatever they do when they don’t have anything better to do. I really didn’t care anymore, because it was my decision to go out dressed like that, and it’s all none of their business.

Moral of the story: People will always judge you. But in the end it doesn’t matter, the only thing that’s important is that you can stand up for yourself and be proud of who you are.

Actually, being different is surprisingly refreshing and freeing. It’s a great feeling and you would be surprised to know how many people wish they could be more themselves and less what others want them to be. The only hurdle they’d have to take would be to finally break out of the cage and yell: “Here I am, that’s me; if you don’t agree with who I am, then fuck off.” I think deep down everyone’s wishing they could do that.

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Inspire (0) (@Space) 8 years ago ago

dude i know someone who was in the same position, and i agree with you 100 percent

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Ryan P (32) (@fortitude) 8 years ago ago

It is an illusion, but then again what isn’t? An illusion is real to those who can’t see through it yet it is still an illusion, in this sense you have a catch 22. The mind is the focus of reality and what it believes is real is as good as real. If you believe it exists then you will experience it as if it does but if you see through it you will not.

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Colton (0) (@Colton) 8 years ago ago

Like you said “what isn’t?” is seemingly true. Therefore how does one see through reality if it is an illusion of the real reality in which is composed of ongoing illusions that when seen through doesn’t even make sense to us at all in the end. Object permanence, if you know what it is then you know its something that when understood just might make deep thinking people keep their sanity, since we wouldn’t even be able to truly tell if we exist or not in this day and age. It could seriously all be in the head, but of course we all believe it is probably our own heads that everything is made up in. Maybe one day we will all find out true reality in a sense, or you might, or I might in and of ourselves will we stumble upon discovering and deciphering illusion from reality.

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Ryan P (32) (@fortitude) 8 years ago ago

Good points. Though an illusion is not real that does not mean that reality or truth is not contained in it, in fact it must be. The illusion in a way is a distorted reflection of reality but a reflection none the less. Although we can only see the distortion there is truth in it that will lead us to enlightenment. By putting the puzzle pieces together we can form our own true vision of reality and understand a great deal about the universe around us.

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Patrick Bateman (0) (@PatrickBateman) 8 years ago ago

This is a symptom of being internally consumed with what other people think of you. The less you care about the opinions of others, the happier you will be.

Try walking in public wearing just undies or nothing at all yelling “suck my dick”!

Feels good

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Colton (0) (@Colton) 8 years ago ago

Until you’re arrested, but I like your enthusiasm. We do and don’t give a shit about what people think of us. It’s good and bad. It goes both ways, as does seemingly everything. It is all contradicting, which is pretty unnerving till you learn to live with it and expand on it.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 8 years ago ago

i think social anxiety is creation of our own, a misunderstanding of reality, the synapses that contain information on how to interpret reality contain inaccurate, illusionary, or misguided connections,

the minds natural state is empty, we add this by how we chose to view reality based on our accumulation of knowledge and experience,

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Colton (0) (@Colton) 8 years ago ago

We don’t always have a choice in how we view, or in other words, perceive reality. Growing up there isn’t much of a choice at all as we are still learning how to choose how we perceive things, before we psychologically perceive things it comes natural and we rely on biological processes to do our perceiving as we grow up, then we can later go off of that to decide how we want to see the world. It may be a creation, but how does that happen? That is like the beginning of existence being created, if that’s even reality. We make it what we will, but it still stems from somewhere having a reason or cause for it, we can’t just magically think up disorders as some kind of “all in our head paranoia” as much as we are led to believe. Yeah it’s all in our heads but not exactly the way we think, and also to think that way is too put a lot of blame on one’s self for their disorders, which usually goes both ways.

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Tine (366) (@tine) 8 years ago ago

there comes a point of self awareness though where the person needs to accept their part in things, once aware, the person is responsible, even if what they become aware is from something else, its their choice to continue, to change, to heal, or remain.

these are all decisions of the individual. i agree that most of where our problems stem from is from other sources, but how we respond to reality is a choice, a choice we have to make or forever be victim to exterior influences

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Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 8 years ago ago

Laughter is an internal source.

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Colton (0) (@Colton) 8 years ago ago

I hear you on that, I believe after it is all said and done we choose to learn from everything or we may make ourselves a victim of what has happened to us. Then when the time comes for us to have a say in the matter, the choice is ours. Its still difficult to determine how much of the blame or fault is truly ours if most of where our problems come from is other sources which isn’t our control. Some people go through tougher lives than others making it harder for them not to fall victim to all of life’s little negativity. Are you saying they shouldn’t be cut a break and that’s it’s entirely up to them to become stronger through better or worse even if all they’ve been given from outside forces is a life of shit? I get that life isn’t fair but life is what we make it. Some just don’t know better, that’s all it is.

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Colton (0) (@Colton) 8 years ago ago

Basically it is just some biopsychosocial conflict all in our heads. Literally, all these so called disorders stem from within our minds. We throw a label on them to classify differences, and then without any real solutions to the problems, we continue to try and live our lives as normally as possible. We are also most likely “trained” in a sense, to become anxious in front of large crowds or whatever the case may be through media among many other things, although many people stay skeptical of this skepticism that society is blamed a lot for socially damaging people. I myself recognize the fact that one would think to have adrenaline pumping and anxiety coming over one’s self due to a life or death situation, not something as silly as talking in front of people, giving a damn what they think. There is more to this puzzle than we can possibly imagine right now as all disorders are not entirely understood at all yet, but with the realization of reality I fell one finds anxiety to be nothing more than a bunch of hoo blah. There is more to it than it just being in our heads like paranoia, but it is also literally existing in our brain chemistry as a part of we are or who we have become due to many biological, psychological, and social factors.

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