Do you think you are who you hang out with?

 lonely cat (@jessicazavalaa)6 years, 2 months ago

Idk im kind of confused with life. Like, i want to be a musician and I have a lot of other goals in mind i’d like to achieve. So, when I hang out with my friends that aren’t doing anything exceptional with their life, mostly drinking and partying and getting really excited when they land a job at the food court in the mall- I feel like i’m wasting my time, and also like i’m turning into them. When I hang out with more goal oriented people, like those really enthusiastic herbal life people, life just seems..much more exciting? So say i’m deleting these partyers from my life, doesn’t this kind of make me a judgemental asshole? Or like, should it even matter what people are doing and we should just hang out with them? i dont even know… ug.

January 9, 2014 at 5:47 pm
Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

You’re not the people you hang out with. I am a musician and don’t own a working instrument, but I have two that are broken. I am my broken instruments, because I have nothing to play with?

Thing is, people aren’t like instruments. When people break they can’t be goal oriented.

Go alcohol. Go prose.

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TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

@jessicazavalaa, I would say yes, you absolutely ARE the sum total of the 5 to 10 people you spend the most time with. It’s a phrase I’ve heard many times, and many times I have observed it in real life, including my own. I too had too many drinkers/stoners/non-driven people in my life and, while of course they never FORCED me to waste my time, I felt that they certainly influenced me to, even if they did so unconsciously. So I’ve trimmed down the number of people I hang out with considerably, and now just have my core group of passionate, creative, and true friends.

Hang out with the party people if you want, but do realize they have a good chance of influencing you, and the more you hang out with them, the greater the chance will be that you will be like them. If you don’t want to cut them out entirely, you could always just hang out with them less.

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lonely cat (1) (@jessicazavalaa) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

so basically, it’s more beneficial to hang out with people that are doing the same thing that you want to do. It’s kind of like the saying if you hang around money, you’ll get money. Which if you think about on these terms, is kind of true. The only thing that sucks is of course partyers have all the time in the world to hang out, and people doing things don’t really “hangout” cuz they’re out doing shit with their lives…
i just want to hang around more musicians and create shit! ahhhhh and idk why it seems so hard to do what you want to do in your life but like its simple! I just need to say that over and over again and stop taking the easy way out. Like if I want to hang out with musicians I can just HANG OUT WITH MUSICIANS. IDK WHATS STOPPING ME. NOTHING IS. It’s the convenience of hanging out with drinkers, and i’ll actually have to get off my ass and meet musicians. But like isn’t that the whole point in life of succeeding, getting out of your comfort zone and what not. Man there’s so much to thinking about i cant

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Anonymous (328) (@) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

Not. People can be different from each other and still get along.

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LVX (297) (@Vovinawol) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

When we question these things, then we know that something needs a change.
Our click is somewhere else. Otherwise we would feel comfortable. This is blunt, but much easier to type lol.
Don’t feel judgmental… we all have different paths and yours is just different from the one’s you are hanging out with.

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Anonymous (175) (@) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

they live their life as they choose.

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Anonymous (175) (@) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

Also, we’re humans, we’re influenced by others. So the cliche does hold some truth to it.

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Thought depths (4) (@jiggaboo) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

There so many different answers to this question but I feel like for most circumstances you definitely are who you hang out with its proven. Take this music thing you are in love with and blast off in a completely different direction. Comparing the people you hang out with to instruments is a completely illogical thing to do, such a bad connection. But Im in the same place as you are and Im searching for these new successful people to surround myself with. Everyone in my city seems to be caught up in the wrong thing drugs, partying , alcohol…. and realistically this is all a distraction from what you could be doing to be a successful musician. I know this one line from a song by Drake where he says “while all of my closest friends out partying , I’m sitting here making the music they party to” it just kind of just relates what it takes to be a successful musician, this may not be the best relation but I think its pretty good because look at where that man is today. Don’t waste your time partying , and dont let your friends talk you into doing this every week. There is more to life.

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lonely cat (1) (@jessicazavalaa) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

i agreeeee with like everything you just saidddddddddd

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Thought depths (4) (@jiggaboo) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

Surround yourself with success and movements and you will become it

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Manimal (2,998) (@manimal) 6 years, 2 months ago ago

Well, the person you hang out with the most is yourself.

So yeah, you are.

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Jared.L (3) (@Jared.L) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

Yes, to some extent….we are who we are with just because we choose to spend time with those who are like us.

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Nora (1) (@Noracat) 3 years, 6 months ago ago

There is no need to delete your friends completely from your life. What you can do is try to spend a bit less time with them and spend some time more on your developing. you may go to some club or something like that and maybe find new friends that will motivate you. Do not be that definitive

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