Hey guys, i am new to thia site. I really need to get soemthing off my chest. So, I am just a young man stuck in love with the most beautiful girl ever, All I ever do is think about the life that we could have together and I have even turned around all my bad habits in life for her. Me and her went to high school together and we talked a little bit and I just fell in love with her and i really never gave her any Idea about it. The last week of my senior year, I got her number so we could stay in touch, (she is a year younger than me) and i texted her a few times and she sometimes texts back and sometimes doesnt but i can tell textong is not her thing. In reality it appears that I have no chance with her and all but, when i am talking to her face to face alone i just get the feeling that she likes me and my heart is warm whenever I am around her and it stays that way for days. Just for some reason i have the slightest feeling that she likes me back. It might sound crazy but there is a chance that she is either to shy to tell me or that she is so focused on school that she has no time to show her feelings for me (she is number one in her class). Maybe oh maybe i am wrong considering all the signs point to her not liking me, but, I know for sure that she makes me feel what true love feels like and no girl has ever gave me that before and Everytime I see her she gives me a hint that she might have feelings for me ! What do you guys think about this? I am totally open up to anything you guys have to say.
first of all, congratulations on your first love. :)
i remember mine well. it happened my freshman year of college, and it sounds like you’re having a very similar experience. alas, my first love was unrequited.
i had been friends with (let’s call her) Eleanor for about 6 months when one day i realized i loved her. then i just had to tell her. so i did. and she told me she didn’t feel that way about me. i was friend-zoned hard, and i continued to be her ‘best friend,’ hanging out with her all the time and doing anything for her, for about 8 months. in that time, we ended up making out (one of the most blissful experiences of my life) and eventually even had sex (when we were rather drunk). unfortunately, those encounters did *not* end up meaning that she was also in love with me, as much as i wanted them to. ultimately, she led me on for months and broke my heart repeatedly, and i was forced to sever our toxic relationship after it became clear that she was just going to keep stringing me along and hurting me. eventually we became friends again but have never had the same relationship. i wish her well and still love her on some level, but it’s been a long time since i felt *in love* with her.
i guess i told that story because your story reminded me of it, and because i think your situation warrants a kind of “cautionary tale.” it sounds like your situation is ambiguous, but you should accept that things may not work out the way you hope. in fact, to be brutally honest, they rarely do in matters of love (speaking from my short 24 years of experience, in which i have been deeply in love 3 times).
*love is still worth it, though. always.*
never forget the feeling you’re feeling right now. it is truly one of the greatest, if not the greatest, jewel(s) of the human experience — to care for a person on this level. it’s beautiful. the pain and heartache are part of it too. don’t forget that. the pain shows you just how much love you are truly capable of giving.
my advice to you is to *tell her how you feel*. you won’t know her real feelings until you stop the guesswork and let her know that you really like her (maybe don’t use the L word right off the bat). she may respond favorably; she may not. but at least you won’t be in the dark anymore and can then determine the appropriate course of action. if she likes you too, wonderful. no need to force or rush anything. just take things slow and see what is meant to be. if she doesn’t like you in that way, it will be okay. you can try to be “just friends” in this case, but consider the possibility that you may never be able to get over her without cutting off communication for an extended period of time.
those are some thoughts. i hope they help, my friend. remember: you’re lucky. you’re in love! try to appreciate this experience for what it is, whatever it ends up being. peace.