Everyone may feel this way sometimes, an impending hole lurking in your soul. We all have some suffering that we all struggle with. Some people handle it differently than others. In my case, I filled my hole with eating disorder behaviors, pills, exercise, and alcohol. The hole was still there but I was just too numbed out to realize it. Once, I began my journey on my path to recovery, I faintly realized I was numbing out – running away from my past.
My past still haunts me till this day. Eventually I will talk about it, but for now the scars are too deep and are still healing. But, I do realize now, that all the pain and suffering I have endured is becoming less prominent. The more I reach out, journal, read books, practice self-acceptance, speak to my supports and go to therapy, the less suffering is done on my part . Sometimes I wonder if I ever will forgive and let go. I know the important part of acceptance is understanding and acknowledging things, not necessarily attempting to change it or agree with it. A big struggle of mine is remembering and accepting.
1 noble truth of buddhism, world is full of suffering and it is true, whenever we go in a party and see all people dancing, we think oh they are so happy, only i am unhappy, but inside them they are also suffering, i suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, i am hypersenstive, feel empty all the time, idealize and devaluate other person in a matter of seconds, feel emotions intensly and those emotions lasts longer, paranoid also many times, and feel positive emotions also intensly…and i think i will be like this forever, i don,t know how to end all this…
In Mahayana Buddhism Emptiness is regarded some positive, and it is at the core of a being.
@antsjag, This is my truth after flirting with insanity over this awareness: The true nature of the emptiness is potential. The hole is not a bottomless pit of dissatisfaction but an orb of light that expands each time you fill it. When you are in touch with the beauty of your existence, everything you do feels like an expression of that beauty as opposed to a remedy for the responsibility to fill that hole in each moment.
Life can feel like an unjust sentence to despair, especially if you are really empathetic and aware of the pain of people around you. You can illuminate the darkness by connecting to your own source of power and beauty. That’s why physical activity and making yourself aesthetically helps so many people. But all you really need to survive is a belief – a faith- in the force of your will and the purity of your own joy :)
@antsjag, Life is not and eazy thing to deal with, its one BIG PUZZLE trying to put it all to gather never ends.Those holes you talk about filling have no bottom I’ve tryed filling them my self.Leting go of the past is hard especially by your self.
Emptiness and fullness are actually one in the same. Most run from the emptiness fearing they will vanish. When I stepped into the emptiness the truth was clear as day. I did not step out of the emptiness. For once I became nothing, I also became everything.