So I have started wondering lately if there are any others who feel alone in their perceptions of others. To explain further, we seem to live in a place where moral behavior continues to decline with time. As this is happening, I feel that we should be more careful as to who we choose to spend our time with, yet there are numerous people who seem to be unaware of their own friend’s behaviors and possibly even intentions. Its hard for me to sit back and watch my friends hang out with really shitty people (as I feel that these are people who don’t genuinely care or have bad intentions), yet my friends seem unaware that the people who they hang out with don’t have their best interests in mind. Does anyone else feel that they can see these things in others in which their friends can’t see?
I care because I am often around these other people as well, and I just want the best for my friends. It also makes me question my relationship with my friends. I wonder whether or not I should be friends with the people who don’t also realize this.
@srenaldo, Yes. I think you can generally pick up vibes from people and ultimately tell the quality of their character through their general behavior and relationship with others. I do consider a negative side of this judgement practice to be that you can get in the habit of judging people before you even know them.
I suppose it’s a matter of balancing the practice where you can choose your friends wisely, but also don’t end up being some superficial judgmental person.
@srenaldo, You learn to recognise people their intentions the older you get and the more you are confronted with negative experiences. Some people are better in recognising this than others, but then again others have other qualities they are better in. I can see through people easily yes, partially because of my own experiences and partially because I am just good at it.
I doubt morals have declined in the slightest bit.
It’s hard to tell what kinds of people you are referring to, having little detail of them but, often “bad” can be a relative term. A devout Christian may think I am a bad influence because I have tattoos, or a Muslim because I eat pork, but this doesn’t make me bad. I mean, are these people like kidnapping children and demanding ransom? Or are they just smoking a little bit of ganja?
If you get an uncomfortable feeling around these people; make the choice for yourself not to be around them and be honest with your other friends by saying “hey, I don’t feel comfortable around so-and-so” and then allow them to form their own opinion about the person. But definitely, don’t hang around them if you get a bad feeling about them. It’s like everything, what may be right for you may not be right for some.
Thanks guys, these are some good responses!
@rexrf – An example would be that I have two friends. One is an alcoholic who is trying very hard to fight his addiction. The other is an alcoholic who doesn’t care to hold back on drinking. I respect both of their decisions to live life as they want. All three of us often hang out together, but the one who continues to drink urges on the other who is trying to stop. Seems to me that the one who hasn’t stopped drinking isn’t respecting my other friends decisions.
@srenaldo, In that particular case I understand how person #2 is a bad influence over person #1. It is also very hard to overcome an addiction–especially when you’re addicted to something legal.
The problem, you see, is that life is so very boring and alcohol is so very fun…so how do we resolve this issue? There is AA (embarrassing), interventions (embarrassing) and there are ultimatums (awful). What I recommend is none of the above. Try convincing your friend to have an agreed limit, say three drinks maximum. Have him slowly taper and hope that he can appreciate just being with people and not having to drink. Don’t be pushy or militant, it will backfire.
I have no idea if this will work, but it’s advice coming from a borderline alcoholic. Good luck to you and your friend.
@rexrf – My friend doesn’t have any problems sticking to a few drinks other than when the other alcoholic is around. They seem to fuel each others addictions. The only difference is that one is trying to cut back while the other who isn’t trying to cut back is wrecking his progress. Luckily, I talked to my friend about it all today and we are on the same page, however this is just one situation. I wish that people were more observant. I hate to sit back and watch one person slowly kill another. Thanks so much for the good advice! : )
Hi, I exactly feel the same, and my sister has that “power” too. I know 2 or 3 people like us, but it’s not really common to meet people who can see through others. For instance, if someone tells you something bad that has just a little link with you, even if his/her voice seems nice and true, sometimes you’ll feel it’s wrong. You can see his/her real intentions, as if him/herself has no idea he/she’s not being nice to you..
I hope you understand what I mean, or you just know we feel the same, because words can’t describe it perfectly (and I’m 16 and French, so my English is not perfect.. :p )
I hope you’ll read it, even if you posted it 2 years ago.. !
I can certainly relate to that.
It’s like a trade-off in my case though. I’m worse than average at reading moods, but reading intentions is very easy to me. I’m more interested in intentions than moods though, they are truer reflections of a person’s character and soul, and have more literal importance as well. So I’m glad, although I sometimes wish I could read emotional signals better.
It’s also a bit depressing, because people tend to see me more as some kind of coach rather than someone to relate to.
I created this account just to reply on this thread.
I’m a 21 year old male with a fiancé who is about to finish nursing school and literally googled your exact question after a few months of having to confront the fact I am capable of seeing through people like glass. I can’t even watch a show on Netflix without seeing how the plot was constructed to adhere to the most typical viewing audience’s demands, said demands are obviously not vocalized but they are apparent when you understand simple social constructs like “the good guy always wins” for example. Those have changed a lot over the years but I’m sure you get that.
I grew up with two siblings (brother and sister who were both older) and two very old-school parents. Living in the south of North America I was faced with religious legalism and all kinds of emotional incompetence from my parents. My sister has been on medication since she was 15 (she is now 27 and married with a couple kids) and my brother comitted suicide when he was 18 in 2011.
I only have a couple things to say. The first being that you absolutely are reasonable in feeling how you do. I am literally the same way and after quitting a substance abuse habit and getting my life together over a year ago, as I stated I was forced to face the same thing although I have realized it for years but never wanted to actually take note of it. If you did not make this post, I would have unwittingly been worried. The fact you posted this shows me that you are a normal human being with strong intuitive abilities. You obviously still have empathy for other people, in this case your friends, and because you asked if it was normal it only goes to show you have a knowledge of social constructs that goes beyond the average person.
Second: I encourage you to look into your past as I did and understand that you may or may not have been raised in an environment that is conducive to mental health for someone who is not like us and not able to overcome circumstances in order to be the best human being we can be. That very thing is the only reason I can consciously quantify why I am able to see beyond people’s lies. I’m very young so maybe one day I’ll further understand my talents.. I just want you to know you are not alone and you are definitely not some kind of social outcast. You are talented. I studied psychology and neuropharmacology for onky a few months only out of interest without realizing that people like me and you are.. Inexplicably gifted in ways that can not be explained by modern science.
Goodluck my friend. If you would benefit from a further discussion, just contact me.
I feel i can see things in people now where as before I wasnt able to. Like the veil has been lifted and it’s not always pretty when you see this in the people closes to you. Guess this is part of waking up. Just wrote an article about my spiritual awakening that started back in 2011 check it out and if you dont like to read you can watch the video version. Love and Light!