Everybody is pretending

Jonathan (@brainfuck) 7 years, 7 months ago

I think, yesterday I had kind of a revelation. I suddenly realized that everybody is in some form pretending to be something.
I used to feel inferior to people who are more popular, wear more stylish clothes, who seem to live more sophisticated lives than everybody else. Now I can’t help but see the pretentiousness of everybody around me, how everyone is worrying so much about their fucking status. That most people, if not all, spend the majority of their lives always wanting to impress someone, to lift their egos, trying hard to fit in with culture’s rules. Even people who say they don’t care about those rules, people who like to classify themselves as punks, hipsters, goths, you name it, still follow the rules of their culture – the punk,hipster,goth – culture. It seems like there is no true individualism.

What’s your opinion on that topic? I wonder if everybody already realized the stuff I’m talking about.

May 30, 2014 at 8:15 am
backcase (204) (@backcase) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

it is their prisons. Don’t get mad about it, free them from it.

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Anonymous (328) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

We are commodified commodities. Learn how to break from that and you will find yourself.

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Jonathan (1) (@brainfuck) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Are you talking about Marxism? I hope I can get more into learning about it soon.

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Anonymous (328) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

You could take it that way, yes. Or you could take it in a spiritual way or in a realistic way. You’re the boss, boss.

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ShayBiz (5) (@ShayBiz) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

I feel you, it’s hard to respect people or even relate to them after these sorts of realisations. Eckhart Tolle has a really good book about the ego, it goes very much into detail about what you’re talking about. Its called “A New Earth”.

“Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”
― Eckhart Tolle

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Jonathan (1) (@brainfuck) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Thank you, that quote is on point! I feel like defining ourselves/others is just another form of the pretentiousness I was talking about. The only thing that defines us are 2 things we can’t change, our past and the fact that we are human beings. Everything else – from gender to skin color – (we) can change. But if we start defining ourselves we limit this ability to change, as we start believing that these labels are set in stone.

I’ll definitely put that book on my to-read list!

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Anonymous (7) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

i have an idea; go to subway, order a sandwich. chances are, this subway employee is that so called sophisticated person with so called awesome lives. observe how they make your sandwich, if they make your sandwich in a way their thought of themselves–that sandwich is no good, because its made by a person who’s in love with themselves, and how the sandwich looks to you might be disgusting in comparision to the personal reality they’re experiencing. so see, someone who can design an amazing subway sandwich the way you envisioned it be may somehow get you into the idea that they’ve spirtually got their shit together by listening to how the customer wants their sandwich done.

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Jonathan (1) (@brainfuck) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

I don’t really get your analogy…

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Anonymous (7) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

what part of it do you not understand? Lol

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Marlon (97) (@shoeopener) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Well, I am having a different struggle. I can see you’re disappointed by others but the way I see things now is completely different. I physically hurt when I lie, it’s not even funny. So I am truly honest no matter how much people love me or hate me. I’ve no idea where this pain comes from, and from being like this I get to meet a variety of people with true individuality, but I also see potential. They even look up to me and think what I’m doing is something great. Well it isn’t great, when you’re used to an environment so much, once you meet something different and really awesome it’s still hard to adapt to it. I know it’s easy to generalize, it’s a way of communication but it still doesn’t make it any less judgmental. Let’s say someone is really pretentious but gets hurt because of something that is truly important to them. Sometimes the real “you” is actually refreshing as fuck but we’re all so scared to show it because someone might take advantage of us. I realize what you’re talking about, I’ve no idea why things seem like that. Love and fear go hand in hand. We always fear losing what we truly love but our best qualities come out when we learn how to deal with it. I’ve also seen if you’re immensely hated by some and immensely loved by others at the same time, then you’re really doing something right for some absurd reason. Hence, individuality. No one owes the world proving their individuality.

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Nick (554) (@splashartist) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

You and I do it to. Its called living through a self image. In other words, living through self identified thinking. Its just more noticeable in others when your attention is projecting outwards.
Living through self image is the cause of most of our psychological suffering.
We begin to see through our own self images as we turn our attention inwards. The false created sense of self that was created through unconscious thinking begins to vanish in the light of awareness. It reveals you to yourself. You as you actually are, not as you who you think you are. When one lives without a self image then true individuality can emerge.
Cheers man :)

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