Everyone Seems To Be "In a Relationship" These Days

Anonymous (@) 8 years, 11 months ago

Hello friends,

Currently I’m a collegiate. Everywhere I look – people are in relationships. On all of the social websites, apps, etc; People are either getting into a relationship, getting married or having kids. Keep in mind that this is my age group of High-School to Mid 20’s.

Has society conditioned us to the point that we need to be in relationships? I swear there are some people that honestly can’t stay out of a relationship. Are people becoming less independent and more dependent? Obviously relationships offer security and comfort but I’m beginning to suspect something more insidious at play.

Please offer comments/thoughts/opinions.

February 13, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Alex (551) (@hollowinfinity) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

There is a season, every year, where people hook up and break up. Happens around pregnancy season too. :0

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@beyond, Like I talked about earlier – the messages in our pop culture and all – people have no idea what love is. Love is not unconditional. Love is purely conditional. ‘I’ll take care of me if you take care of you’ type of thing. Wanting the best for someone rather than accepting their sickness. If they lash out at you it is tantamount to the behavior of a fictional demon in an exorcism.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@beyond, People are so interested in getting from you that they don’t even see you. Their entire interface with you is happening inside their head – it isn’t out front.
I for one see people, out of a deep-seated pain in my stomach for humanity. I feel your pain and your fear – I don’t care what you think about me. I just want resolve.

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stonedragon (143) (@stonedragon21) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

you can go in an out of relationships your whole life. it is no big deal. especially on valentines day you shouldnt feel bad if you dont have an inttimate lover at this point. just flow with it and love the ones you are with.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@stonedragon21, Let’s see..
Relationship
noun
1. a connection, association, or involvement.

In and out of relationships? Sounds pretty fucking crazy to me.

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DANM!! (107) (@deej) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@danfontaine, Does Mantak Chia have a specific book that is good to read or just anything he wrote. I’ve heard his name but always forget to check it out.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@stonedragon21, Why is it so hard to just intimately love everyone/thing instead of needing an intimate lover or designated persons: ‘those who I am with’? Why do we need ownership of another/others to be content? Let’s chew on that.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@deej, They all cover the same thing – the guy has to make money somehow, I guess.

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DANM!! (107) (@deej) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@danfontaine, In which ways do you try to break down someones image of solidity? I’m genuinely interested.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@deej, Mostly refusal to role-play with them, not supplementing their ego in any way/shape/form, eye contact, plain and deliberate language, maintaining a playful attitude that cancels if they start acting weird.

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@danfontaine, I don’t think people need ownership more than the fact that PEOPLE NEED EACH OTHER. A lot of miserable people prefer to live together while at the same time two people are too much afraid of getting together.

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DANM!! (107) (@deej) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@danfontaine, Haha okay. I’ve just started playing with this too, especially eye contact and I notice how much that many people want to avoid any stranger knowing that they are looking at them. I ride the bus so I have ample time to see this happen, I find it sad and a bit ridiculous.

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stonedragon (143) (@stonedragon21) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

what i meant is that in the corse of your life you can have many raltionships of all kinds that end and some that remain. it is like all things impermanent. so not to get hung up on having them or not.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@stonedragon21, Well good advice. Definitely don’t get hung up on it. Loving yourself is exponentially more powerful than the love from another – as it grows within yourself and just flowers and explodes.

“you shouldnt feel bad if you dont have an inttimate lover at this point.”

When you said this I took it that you meant to say having an intimate lover is something people should strive for but shouldn’t worry about.
Like @beyond, said, Some people just love each other! That kind of romantic love falls into place and is beautiful but I think it is foolish to seek that. Follow your own bliss.

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stonedragon (143) (@stonedragon21) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@danfontaine, archangel. you know you took the words out of my mind, i thought after i clicked reply i should have added that. love the one your with. meaning YOUR SELF.
jordan gave a good advice about this earlier this week if you missed it. the best relationship you can have and one which never ends is with your own self.
so you might as well give yourself a big valentines hug right now!!

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@beyond, I don’t think people need each other in that sense though. That whole living with someone and being miserable/being afraid of other people are two ends of the spectrum of the ego’s behavior – the persona, facade, snake.
@deej, Keep working on it – if it feels uncomfortable just know that pain is weakness being released from the body, as much as I hate to quote fitness junkies lol
@stonedragon21, Thank you for that hug <3

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@deej, Don’t be like staring people down though lol – unless you really mean some shit. Lighten the mood of the bus up in whatever ways your crazy imagination can conjure up – moods are malleable, people are malleable.

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Monika (24) (@money) 8 years, 11 months ago ago

@aestheticbrah, It’s crazy that you post this because just recently this was my EXACT thoughts. I’m in college as well and all my friends around me are getting into relationships, or whining about their shitty ones. I’m sitting here like wow, jesus everybody is jumping into this stuff so fast. I won’t lie and say that I don’t want to be with somebody exclusively sometimes when I feel lonely, but it’s a lot of pressure when everyone around you has one. I don’t know if I REALLY want a boyfriend or if I just feel like I should have one because everyone else does. In all honesty if all my friends were single and we went out and hooked up with different people all the time, I’d probably feel as though that was normal and wouldn’t think twice about having a boyfriend. I do want one, but I’m not gonna jump the gun and get into a relationship with someone who isn’t right for me just cause of pressure, you know? There’s plenty of guys at my disposal I could get with easily any night, but I often question who’s going to be the one that I want to be with and who will be worth it in the long run? Is it wrong to wait these days?

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Charlotte (51) (@11mothernature) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

hmm I would say the opposite where I’m from. I would say that’s somewhat true, that people need to feel wanted. But from what I see I can’t say that people are become more dependent, what I see is less… What I see is people fearing the commitment.

Personally I don’t want to settle down until I know I won’t miss my freedom. I’m perfectly happy on my own.

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Thomas (10) (@charlie7400) 7 years, 5 months ago ago

I agree with this, well said

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