Being aware of being alive. Knowing that time is running out. Not knowing what to do at any given time. There are so many options! Cute girls everywhere. Handsome men lining the street. Homework, homework, and more homework. Assigned letter grades. Groundings. Curfews. Deadlines. Expectations. Responsibilities. I didn’t ask to be alive! Groaning. Sighing. Crying. Hurting. Occasional laughter. Sometimes hysteria. Claustrophobia. Life is big but we are small. Everything is funneled through our minds. Our minds are the size of our fists! It all goes through there, and that shit’s locked up inside us! Holy crap! You can try to grab it but you’ll end up grabbing your face. What a tease! That’s why we get drunk, right? That’s why we get high, is it not? Forgetfulness can be fruitful. Sleep, beneficial. Dreams, hit or miss. We don’t know if we want to be conscious or not. Is it better to be dragged, or to disappear? Of course there are more options. We have to find them on our own time, though, and everyone’s asking us for it. What if we go through life alone and cry on our last day? Jesus Christ. That’d be sad as shit. It doesn’t have to be that way, but we’re doing a good job of ensuring it will be. We’re pussies and don’t take risks, though we have the means to. We seem to be forever confined. Always tied to one task or another. We don’t have time to think and enjoy thinking, unless we’re already rich. Bless our parents. Damn the twenty-first century pace. Damn competition. I want to succeed alongside my brothers and sisters, alongside us all. Where are the ways of life for those who want to move slowly, methodically, fancifully through life? Why can’t our default emotion be bliss, instead of nonchalance or apathy? I’m not trying to procrastinate or be lazy, I just don’t want to misstep or make waste. Exploration is imminent, I know. We’re walking toward our grave, but we can smile along the way. Who knows what comes next. Who knows what comes ultimately. Who cares. We all do. Some more than others. Just fucking breathe. Look ahead. Expand your perspective. Always expand your perspective. If something shitty happens, expand your perspective. I’m telling the truth. You always have the ability to do something. Look within, look without, look for me, and look for others. Looks for signs that there’s something special. Pounce on every imaginable opportunity to make your life amazing. It’s possible to be at peace. Bless us on our paths.
You’re kind of dark lately. Still redeeming, though. Keep on keeping on.