Feel like I lost my teenage years..?

 tremecat (@tremecat)7 years, 8 months ago

Im a 17,5 years old guy.

I feel like I lost some really important time of my life, that I could never get back. And the worst is that I saw the opportunities coming to me but I consciously ignored them.

At 13 I started to get less and less social. I think it might have been because of some ideas I had, some kind of principles which messed with my thoughts. I wouldn’t go to parties, wouldn’t make relations with girls and shit like that. And I was pretty sad-faced all the time.

I had a friend, girl, who was really good friend with me. I love her personality (that she used to have at that time, haven’t seen her from when I got 15) and of course she looked extremely cute. At a point she wanted our relation to go further than friends but because I had the attitude I used to have, I refused in an awkward way (just said i didn’t love her, when I truly did, never loved like this before and since then) which got us apart by a lot. We weren’t even talking to each others anymore, and that’s when I started to get depressed, but I didn’t know why at the time.

I then had to move to another city some hundreds miles away. That’s when I realized how much she means to me, and I never had my feelings so fucked up. I cant write her messages because it would’ve been too awkward and she wont reply anyways.

Now I’m 17 soon get 18 and I truly feel like I wasted my teenage years on crap. I’m afraid Ill never live that kind of stuff again, and it really messes with my head, every time I think about it i lose myself in it.

Nowadays Im really different than how I used to be, In a good way, but I believe it’s too late.

Also I’ve never met another person like her, an I’m pretty desperate about that :/.

I found this site by accident, I’m not completely used to it, but I believe that it’s about this kind of stuff? If not then I’m sorry :3

Someone ever felt like this before, can you relate to this post? How did you get trough, where are you’r thoughts on it?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read :)

January 22, 2014 at 9:12 am
sian (109) (@siantastic) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

When I was your age I was utterly heart broken. And I remember specifically just adding it to a list of other heartache I had experienced in my life, thinking ‘oh well, life’s a big steaming pile of shit’. Almost a decade later, and I know now I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The role of a teenager isn’t real. We emerge from childhood with something of a crash, and suddenly everyone starts telling you to ‘grow up’. This results in what we know as ‘teenage behaviour’, because it is at that point you feel something deep down to your core is very wrong. You know, I had more of an idea of who I was at the age of 12, than I did by the time I was 18. Anyway, my point is, you haven’t wasted anything…because how can you when it doesn’t exist? And how can it ever be too late for anything when you have today?

As far as your relationship situation I’m going to say the lamest of the lame…time heals everything. Throw yourself into things you enjoy, and if you don’t know what they are, then make it your mission to find out. Focus on getting your inner child back, not your teenage years. Think back to when you were a child, and you had an inquisitive, curious nature, with not a care in the world. It is possible to live like that again, but you mustn’t give up, not on this wonderful thing called life.

You are stronger than you could ever imagine, trust me.

TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

@siantastic, I was having a little bit of a tough day myself with similar issues of lost youth and lost time and other such things. And I just so happened to see your reply here. Beautiful post! Just what I needed today.

cousinfart (1) (@cousinfart) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

I know this is way too cliché, but no, it’s not too late for anything. I too had “principles” when I was your age and I let those ideas hold me back for no reason. I’m in my mid 20’s right now and believe me being a teenager is overrated. You haven’t missed much. Plus you are just 17 and realizing that you were socially crippling yourself in that age is early enough.

About the girl. Just talk to her. Don’t text her or anything. Call her and genuienly ask her how she is doing. Yes maybe it will be awkward but who cares? It’s better than looking at her pictures and dwelling on the past. Take action and please don’t let overthinking stop you. I did that a lot and regreted it a lot. So after you read this pick up the phone and call her. Just as Nike said: “JUST DO IT”

ps. I don’t like Nike but they really nailed it with that motto

ThatGuy (38) (@ThatGuy345) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

STOP THIS THINKING RIGHT NOW!! ahhhh You can’t afford to beat up on yourself for mistakes you’ve made! I’m 19 and I know I missed dozens and dozens of opportunities because of irrational anxiety. It’s done, you have to accept this brother! Love yourself with all your heart, go ahead tell yourself you love yourself RIGHT NOW. You’ve learned your lessons now and there is absolutely nothing good that can come from thinking in this way. You will only create frustration and anxiety and depression thinking like this. I am telling you this with love and hope that you will not make the same mental thought looping that i put myself through. You sound like you might be in a rut right now, so go find something creative and fun to do. This depression comes from the absence of gratefulness. You are focusing on the bad when you can look around you and name off hundreds of things to be thankful for. Much love and I wish you the absolute best

tremecat (0) (@tremecat) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

Youre right. You guys made me feel much better, sincerly. I love you all.

Anonymous (175) (@) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

Teenage years don’t really matter in the grand scheme.

Learn from the mistakes of the past, and don’t let them arise again.

John Cooper (5) (@John Cooper) 7 years, 7 months ago ago

I definitely can relate. I was shy with the ladies for my entire high school years. Then I made a commitment to change. I’m now 22 years old and my life has changed dramatically. If someone told to me 5 years ago how my life would look like at 22, I would never believe him. You can change, but you have to be open to it. Your worst enemy is anxiety, which is all in your mind.

About the girl you love so much, a few months ago I also met a girl I thought was incredible. She left me. I thought it would take me a long time to find another one. Guess what happened. Two months later I met a girl who’s better than her. I love her personality. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You only need to be open to meet other women.

If you’re shy with the ladies, you can always ask me questions. I used to be very shy, but that has changed. My specialty is night clubs, lol. But you can meet women literally everywhere.

You really haven’t lost your teenage years. Consider them as experience. Experience you can take with you in your adult years. Life has just begun.

Peace <3

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