Feelings

 Colin (@cproject) 7 years, 8 months ago

Hi, I don’t know where else to post this, but a year ago I broke up with my girlfriend who went to a different college far away because of distance. I go to a big university with tons of girls and because I grew up in a small town, I wanted to experience more, so I ended the relationship. I loved(maybe still love her, I’m not sure) this girl and had no reason to break up with her so I felt really bad, but we’re still friends and talk occasionally. I don’t have the same type of feelings for her anymore, but they might still be there deep down. Anyway, ever since this breakup, and this is going to sound weird, I have been able to control my feelings for girls/relationships in general with people. I don’t really text people back anymore, and I became a lot more introverted. There have been countless girls I would have jumped at the chance to be with, hook up with, etc.. but it’s like I don’t even care about that now. I’m not good at putting my thoughts onto paper, so I apologize if this is hard to follow. There is a girl who likes me right now and we are basically dating, but I won’t take her out on dates because I just decided not to have feelings for her. Before my breakup, I would have stressed out over her and wanted to date her right away.. Now, I just decided I don’t want to like her, so I don’t. It seems like I’m able to do this with everything in life now and I don’t think it’s normal. It’s not that I’m afraid of commitment, because I didn’t even have a really bad break up or anything. I don’t know if this has happened to anyone else, but I want to have feelings for her, but I feel like something is holding me back and I don’t know what it is. I’m experimenting with self-reflection right now to figure it out. I’ve changed a lot in the past 3 years, I think a lot more now. I used to be happy go-lucky, now I over analyze a lot of things. Sorry for rambling, if anyone else experienced this type of personal change after a breakup, how did you deal with it?

February 2, 2014 at 11:26 pm
LSDismyGOD (63) (@LSDlover) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

(@Cproject) hey Dear this type of change after break up is not emotionally healthy for u, i am sure when u will make a new gf, the girl who like u, u will forget previous one, although feelings for her cannot be remove completely, but they will become less intense, it is true that to fall in love is to take risk, u become emotionally vulnerable, there is always a risk of being hurted and betrayed, it does,t mean we should stop loving and forming new relationship , a farmer does,t stop to grow his crops because insects and animals can destroy it, NOTHING IN THE WORLD which is worthwhile is without some risks…

the girl who likes u right now, go for it bro,i am sure u will be happy
take care

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LSDismyGOD (63) (@LSDlover) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

(@Cproject) hey Dear this type of change after break up is not emotionally healthy for u, i am sure when u will make a new gf, the girl who like u, u will forget previous one, although feelings for her cannot be remove completely, but they will become less intense, it is true that to fall in love is to take risk, u become emotionally vulnerable, there is always a risk of being hurted and betrayed, it does,t mean we should stop loving and forming new relationship , a farmer does,t stop to grow his crops because insects and animals can destroy it, NOTHING IN THE WORLD which is worthwhile is without some risks…

the girl who likes u right now, go for her bro,i am sure u will be happy
take care..

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LSDismyGOD (63) (@LSDlover) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

(@Cproject) hey Dear this type of change after break up is not emotionally healthy for u, i am sure when u will make a new gf, the girl who like u, u will forget previous one, although feelings for her cannot be remove completely, but they will become less intense, it is true that to fall in love is to take risk, u become emotionally vulnerable, there is always a risk of being hurted and betrayed, it does,t mean we should stop loving and forming new relationship , a farmer does,t stop to grow his crops because insects and animals can destroy it, NOTHING IN THE WORLD which is worthwhile is without some risks…

the girl who likes u right now, go for her bro,i am sure u will be happy :)
take care

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Kevin M. (1) (@Deadhead1100) 7 years, 8 months ago ago

Hi Colin. I haven’t had this exact experience , but I would love to help in any way that I can. Are you looking to reduce the analysis of everything? What would you like my input on?
If you are looking for a philosophy to help you get back to your happy go-lucky ways, read the book titled The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff.

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