I was sitting up on Facebook for a while this afternoon, when I stumbled upon a certain persons profile who happens to be a pretty big sports athlete. After looking through posts and photos, it got me thinking. This guy was from my city and around my age. Looking through his profile really made me think to myself, this guy has it all worked out. He has stuck to something he loved to do and now he has made it big.
This is one thing in this stage of my life that is troubling me, and it has had me thinking a lot recently.
By this I mean finding a passion, something you feel you are born to do or something you have stuck with for a very long time that is kind of a big part of your life now. This is bothering me right now, I most definitely feel like the outsider in ways, i’m still only young, although i’ve never stuck to a hobby or interest or job or activity for long enough to be able to say that it is a big part of my life. I feel like just the neutral person. I’ve tried football, surfing, martial arts of all sorts, powerlifting, skateboarding you name it, a few years maybe but no more than that.
I feel like the ‘jack of all trades master of none’, and while i’m not trying to find myself popularity or attention, it leaves a really empty feeling inside knowing that you have dabbled in so many things that you find interesting, although you can’t seem to allow yourself to commit to something for any longer than a few years. While i know that life carries many different phases, as well as peers, friends and family all contributing to how you spend your time and what interests you, it almost upsets me to know that there are people out there who have already found that one thing in their life that they never tire of. I long to find such passion in life. I wish i knew how, or why I haven’t yet.
There can be so many things causing this lack of motivation, hard to assess based on the info you have given. My advice would be to talk to a specialist who can help you find yourself and what is behind all this.
Some general advice that I can give you would be:
– Start meditating
– Start writing in a journal/diary about what ever is going on with you during the day.
– Write down all the things you don’t like and keep expanding this list. Make a similar list with things you like to do and that you are really passionate about. What gives you energy? What gives you joy? What gives you a smile on your face? It can be anything, there are no limits here. You can get answers from things that may sound very trivial or insignificant at first. Write it down.
Thanks for your advice,
I’m going to start meditating I have read good things about it. I think its also time I started a journal too, although i’ve tried in the past and i’ve stopped myself short because i’m so paranoid of people knowing whats going on in my head at times.
Sounds pretty bad to read that lol, probably is.
People are motivated by different things. Do you know what motivates you?
It could be curiosity.
Maybe curiosity is your main motivator to do things. Once your curiosity has been satiated, you loose your motivation and the enjoyment factor too. So you feel without a reason to continue.
Some people are motivated by mastering a skill. Do you sincerely feel the need to master something, other than to boost your ego?
Your friend probably found his passion. If all these things you have tried out weren’t your passion, then you can’t really compare your progress with your friend’s.
I bet your friend sucks at skateboard, surf, martial arts, etc. too. Because those aren’t his passions.
Other than this, listen to Filip.
Is experiencing the diversity of life your passion?
Subject’s name: Sam
Motivated by: Curiosity
True calling: To experience life
I was in a same situation like you long time ago… well, do we all really need to have passion and love and positivism? I know that a lot of people won’t agree with me, but we are not in a position to choose. But we are in a position to choose whether we bother about it or we relax about it. Anything i mean. Its not at all a negative attitude try to understand. You as you are, there is no problem with it! the whole world tries to tell you there is a problem with you. You are not enough this not enough that. It has gotten so deep into you that you have accepted it and now you feel at unease. You start comparing yourself with someone else, which is normal in this society, but let me tell you: there is nothing in society which is truth. society is based upon ideas about truth, not about truth itself. In reality everyone of us is so unique. Everyones role is unique and so important. We are not made to be adjusted to a system. To be like the guy on TV or on Facebook etc. get these wrong ideals of beauty and success out of your head. Have you ever thought: Maybe i cannot be tricked by the superficiality of things? maybe thats why activities get boring. maybe you are too mature to be able to become passionate about something? maybe you cannot follow where i am going, but let me tell you: activity and passion does not lead to happiness. it leads to a false sense of enthusiasm and achievement. it lasts only for a while. and after it needs to be balanced out by a down phase. many people try to overcome down-phases artificially by drugs, more activities, etc… but let me tell you: that makes things even worse! superficially they look strong but they are already crumbling away. by the age of 40 they could have heart attacks, chronicle diseases of all sorts (it happens to allot of my friends and they are only 30!). be natural sam. live with yourself in peace. you don’t need to defend yourself even. let them do their thing. you just wait and you will see something big will come up for you. no matter what you do, try to feel yourself here and now. MEDITATE, I think i cannot overemphasise this point. and relax. life will go up and down. if you learn how to relax, that gives you the best bumpers so nothing can hit you down!
Relax… If you read a bunch of these discussion topics at once, find everyone is about as informed as yourself… Although a few think they got all figured out… They must have life cheat code… Which would ruin everything..anyways , i read your post and felt compelled to quote an old 90s tune, Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen), by Baz Luhrmann…
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of THE MOST interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.”
1999, one hit wonder.., the rest of the tune is pretty good as well if you are so inclined to look further.
I’m 52 and still changing career paths…i didn’t get a user manual, did you?