it can be anything – life is frightening – rhyming typing-ling – poetic siphoning – flowing ascii – cite an opening – dont ask – paint a picture – singing freedom is run by witches – in the background- turn it around – maximize what im not allowed – two decibel’s too loud – tone it down- drone it – pow – al capone the crown – prohibition emitting the sound of – dap n pound – straps n hounds – stats n rounds – jump gaps or be drowned.
In a hallway, there shone a light through the windowless darkness. No one knew where this light came from. It just shone from the distance in one steadfast beam. And the people knelt down before it, and bowed down and made offerings to it. And they worshipped it and all this while, as these people were transfixed by this light, life went on behind their backs. Turned to the light, they had no idea that all this was going on in such close proximity to them. And there they remained for at this stage they knew no different. Behind them, in the darkness, was adventure, uncertainty, an infinite range of ideas, thoughts and activities. They could have it all. All things imaginable could be there’s and yet, just as their ancestors before them had done, they bowed before the light and kept their backs to the rest of reality. They, as a species, had become slaves to the light.
I desire you, I really do,
Yet when we communicate,
I feel dry, empty, stifled.
You are afraid, you resist my touch, why?
You aren’t comfortable with me, why?
Why so uptight? Why do you resist me?
It’s just me, right?
I just want to hold you in my arms
That feeling, that masculine desire,
To hold her in your arms, to own her
I just want the Goddess in my arms once and for all,
But this isn’t a light switch, its a dimmer.
Judgment’s heart of gold
I’ll hear your story till the end
Unlike your other so called friends
Mine is mine, yours is yours
The rivers dry the trees are old,
but I’m still here to fill your heart
Ive never seen so much red
Ive missed you mother sky,
They say its all in your head
It seems it didn’t come out right
We tumble like the fallen leaves
Into a subtle breeze
We call life
And the beginning sound of thunder
Echoes through the end
Memories I’ve tried to lay to bed
Like long haired maidens, just keeps singing
I’m finding ways to make things right
Ive battled dragons through the night
now there is a place i go. i sit in silence.
peace the flow – not feelin U -mother I will glow –
thunder lightning throwed – down under is bellow
the sound to make my mellow found
when i dance around like i can not drowned
auto- fans blow pounds like ya never been allowed
challenge round is the way to be a bout
never-back bound on the earth im hellhound
horns n a fiery mane cant kill me im a soulless stray
in the dog pound i play – in any way i free this mind today
the creed is time i pray
the food i feed is sign langua
the dude i be is fine as arts on a sunny day
problems fading from a cigarette
blood drippin from my eyelids wet
hugs strengthen from my chest i let
memorize message and the welts they spread
mezmorize for the weapons
the dream is dead
im a head
that makes you remit
and slip into a seemingly endless bottomless pit
like tireless wolves
with an endless roar that comes from under-
and run head on into the shift
a time to shake it all off and rule is here
sticky and suffering
wuthering unstruck harmonics
taking form as carbonics
purifying the nexus
the war is coming
the peace is humming
as long as you are separate
you are limited
The wind blew and her skirt rose just enough. I was about 5 or 6? Why on GODS green earth would this girl have boys underwear on? I asked Mikey, her brother, “Why is Michelle wearing your underwear?” He looked at me with a confused face….. “Hunh?” was all that came out.. I said, “Why is your twin sister wearing your underwear!!!???”, as aggravated as a kindergarten aged child could be… Mikey replied, “Because I’m wearing hers you idiot”… I shrugged my shoulders and walked away… “Yep”, dad was right I thought to myself, his words ringing in my ears— “Everyday is an opportunity to learn”, “it sure is pop, it sure is” I spoke to myself as I made it to my front door…
Everyone’s turning green walking by the register bloating into a balloon with bile spewing out of esophageal passages, and I beg them to wait and sit like a monk with folded legs and folded hands but they pace like spiders with cotton balls lodged into ear canals. The moon explodes and bleeds the sky, the night sky turning purple, red and orange, and some stars wax and some stars wane and the others look wan and cry out with tears. The register light flickers and the beeping progresses to load my brain with cardboard slices, and plastic bottles fall into the sea as the sun fades away and ice sheets grow and mend the world together into one frozen ball of catastrophe. It wanders alone through starless space and caressing nothing it begins to chase…itself and catches up to nowhere in no-time but races around with mechanical legs.
Somewhere…here…over there…is full of light, warmth, love…chocolate falls and sugar drops, naked women telling secret jokes, wooden props, bunny hops.
Fuck this is fun. I shall continue after I get home from work.
where was it all but here, it isnt anything but everything, im only who i know im not, be aware from the outside and everything will be where youre looking at, be it, it is one, be one one zero one, code the pattern that cant be explained words cant do it its up to us, code the infinite patterns and life will be complete. forever from now.
My heart beats through my lifetime, the number of beats i get I don’t know…as I grow up and grow old my heart beats on…day and night dusk to Dawn..
My cells replace themselves continually. My beating heat is made of new cells too. But the beats keep on pumping like a timer or countdown to end with death for me.
Ba-bump, ba- bump, ba- bump, ba- bump….on and on it pumps blood with each bump…faster or slower the rhythmic percussion is all I can sense to prove I’m alive….
HE free write is in my e-maill as I plop my ass into the PC chair. It was karma, I was in tune.
The story I got concerned a man and his beating heart… I had just walked my dog and broke open my latest fill of sticky green meds. The moon, the stars, my 14yo dog… I smoked the whole joint. I went to the Doctor with my wife today. Long over due. A blood clot in my left leg and just finishing some antibiotics for cellulitis in the same. I disagree with the cellulitis diagnosis but it has improved. So On the walk i get HIGH and decide to update another procrastinated hobby.. My pain journal which has always just been a life journal. I lack brevity and may leave you hanging but if you wish??? I present you with ME.
I sat down at the computer to Journal some pain issues and discuss my FINALLY addressing some serious health issues. I have had it with doctors, hospitals, pain meds, ANY meds. in 99 I fractured a vertebrae. I was back at work the next day. A few years later I get a bad flu that turned out to be meningitis, which turned out to be a spine infection. FF to nov 02 and the surgeries began. they only ended after a horrific auto accident nearly took my life. I died for 14 min. but I guess I had more to do… Lower leg, hip, just about every rib on my left and the sternum were crushed, as was the lung beneath. Bad enough my leg was nearly attached, my scalp tore back along with my fractured skull. ICU for 2 weeks, another 2 months in both hospital and rehabilitation. I recovered miraculously. Like I did from alcohol, like I did with heroin, Like I did with every daemon who ever knocked me down. Less than 2 weeks home and I took my son fishing with help from my father-in-law. After that something changed. In hindsight I say it was the traumatic brain injury that they only addressed from a physical perspective. I was not all there but it was not in a bad way………. I had a pain doctor, kids, my wife, a life…. I couldn’t go saying hey I’m off my rocker… My pain Doc knew something was up and he knew I was handling it MY-WAY. Another Dr would only be another pill for me…. He made me count backward from a 100 by 7’s every month. By the third I had smartened up I wrote crib on my fingers… I had lost a lot of short term memory, and organizing thoughts and words. I guess all the tricks i used to fake being okay helped until what I needed returned. The accident will be about 8 years this march and it was the last time I ever abused or overused any Drug and Alcohol. I am the BEST I have ever been in my life. My biggest problem is dealing with an ever-changing pain cycle that has now been demonized but has yet to beat me. My brain constantly changing to deal with the pain while another part is trying to SELF heal so I can make one last business venture. My daughter is in College and my boy is 14. I was home with them. Even with my problems I raised them right. I used them as my reason to be better…. If you only knew the road I took… An Irish drunk criminal right out of High School. My father taught me well. Dont be greedy and have a fucking ball. I was off with the Dead or chasing gals and booze. A few 30 day stints for doing what Irish boys do….. Christ, if it were today? I’d be in for life. If I got caught for all I did??? I’d be on a prison computer…. Death and the car? Just my closest escape or most painful, almost going over Niagara Falls? That was close!! But I made it in to see the Dead that night. Damn that acid is a fun drug…. Well, I’m tired now and my weed is doing what it needed to to… Ya want more? let me know, Thanks For Reading…. Good Night!
Depression, like surrounded by nothing but empty shells, every bite is tasteless – even the previosuly enjoyed brings no smile, even the appreciated brings no love, even the empty room isn’t empty enough.. fluctuating vibrations of music penetrates my soul but builds no waves strong enough to overcome the walls before my heart’s shore.. and yet, in the silence, like ice melting inside my very core, the emotions purposely runs from a small creek to an ever expanding river as the waterfall cascades over the edge of the precipice of my consciousness and through future experiences evaporates my tastelessness into an avalanche of light, emotion and existence so thick that I have no choice but to suffocate my perception and let life liberate the last levels of labels left in my left hemisphere letting me light up life’s lessons, listening, just listening… Depression, what word? what label? what a limiting box of categorization to narrow my existence into, no wonder it feels like a prison, let me rather drown in the wallowing sea than die in the prison of the box.. no prison for my emotions.. no box.. no depression..
It is all I make it to be- like my father before me I have to be me. I lived it, I loved it, I broke it repaired it. now wisdom’s met knowledge I’m about to explode with it. Know it and see it but don’t let you be it. Get back to that lady that fed you before the devils still rape her they’ll make her their whore.
Love will fill an empty void, fear will fill it too.
A lifetime of choices will all be filled with fear or love from you.
If love is more, and fear can’t fill a life will be enjoyed.
If fear prevails in a lifetimes tales, then a life will be a loveless void.
Hwann Simoas to Mr. Bansilo Theanas
- What time is it really?
- And what have you done.
- Look at me here
- This is so much fun
- For passion or pleasure
- Or something so dear
- Of drugs and incense
- Whores and Beer
- For something worth doing
- And nothing at all
- What did it change?
- And who’s down the hall?
- Of shepherds and sheep
- In a field wet with dew
- Dancing for pleasure
- The hole breaks anew
- The cattle have drown
- Plagued by it’s glow
- As she watches over
- Deepest lair doth know
- For meaning and man
- Endureth the chill
- Slight of hand is it’s weapon
- Truth the mill
- Frightful and weary
- Armed with the crown
- When will it happen
- How does it sound
- The time has come
- It swallowed me whole
- The burning wisdom
- Actual flow
- Dripping with sweat
- As warm as ice
- It finally makes sense
- My thrice
In practiced writing often taught, Death be found within our thought.
Smiles the baby born in morn
As to the old man from light to night
Seasons of nature our whole life tell
From crib to casket, the last leaf fell
On to nothing is now believed
God in the sky? We’ve been deceived.
“Wrong!” Screamed the trees of the fall colored forest
Mistaking knowledge for wisdom the conundrum before us
The beauty that shows so late in the day
Confirms my return from where Lazarus lay