Friendship is an illusion

 Lucy (@queen0ftheclouds)5 years, 3 months ago

I’ve been thinking about friendship for a while. What is friendship, anyway? Is it even real? I don’t think so…

I’m not a people-hater. You can call me introverted. But it truly irks me when people say “I hate people!” If you hate people, then you must hate yourself. I want us all to love each other and get along with one another. I want the human race to unite in the name of love! I actually believe that “friendship” is hindering the human race.

Friendship means separation. When you think of friendship, you think of cliques and “squads.” If you don’t belong to a group, you feel left out and unwanted. We create these groups to feel like we belong, but by doing so we make others feel left out. It’s very ironic. Even worse is a “best friend.” Having a BFF sends out the message to everyone else that they are inferior to one person you have chosen. But cliques and BFFs aside: when you call a person your friend, you are calling everyone else around you a stranger/enemy/outsider/non-friend. I love that quote, “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet!”

I believe the deadliest part of friendship is attachment. Isn’t enlightenment about becoming detached? Friendships don’t fail because of “betrayal”, they fail because of attachment. Labeling someone as a friend means you are attaching yourself to them. We do this to feel safe. We want to depend on others instead of depending on ourselves (probably because most people don’t have the confidence to depend on themselves). Getting attached means becoming possessive, which means becoming jealous. We become overly involved in their lives. We become angry when they make decisions we disagree with.

Friendship distorts the meaning of LOVE. True love is unconditional – friendship is not. Friendship comes with a list of expectations. We cut off friendships when they are “not good enough.” We just throw people away like objects when they don’t meet our specific expectations about what it means to be a friend. Friends are always saying “I love you” to each other but no one means it. Love is not attachment, expectations, conditions. Love means letting someone be exactly who they are. Think of the theme song from the show Friends – “I’ll be there for you… cause you’re there for me too.” Will you still be there for your friend when they stop being there for you?

Friendship has been fooling us in the movies, books, and TV shows. It is not what it seems. I think we should throw the concept of friendship out the window and change our mindset. No more labels, expectations, or attachment. We should simply co-exist with one another and love each other the same.

 

November 16, 2015 at 5:27 am
Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

Anyone who thinks friendship is an illusion needs to find better friends.

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Jordan Bates (4,683)A (@bashfulkoala) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

lol, i luv u : 3 

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

friends like you, Jordan!!! <3

:D

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Jordan Bates (4,683)A (@bashfulkoala) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

aww shucks : ] and you, ellie <3

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Carole (4) (@kcufyoubrah) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

I think the bigger question would be if love was an illusion or life itself. 

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Gio (2) (@giogomezbeats) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Real friends, how many of us

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Jordan Bates (4,683)A (@bashfulkoala) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

“is a term some people use loosely”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiYDJ432b0U

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Gio (2) (@giogomezbeats) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Fucking love MF DOOM!! I was referring to Kanye’s song though, Real Friends. 

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Anonymous (1) (@) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

“enlightenment” or what have you is definitely not about detachment.
That’s just the opposite polarity of attachment.
Let your sexuality guide you.

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phoebeisawesome (1) (@phoebeisawesome) 4 years, 10 months ago ago
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winslow (85) (@winslow) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Great idea Lucy! As one who tries to get along with everyone, I totally agree with what you are saying. Im thinking of it like a magnet, if you stick to the same stuff you can’t pick up new stuff..

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Endie Dionne ATH @afrotreehouseDC (2) (@EndieDionne) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

I get what you mean, but I think friendship is just a word. Without the word the feelings of possessiveness, separation,attachment and betrayal would still exist. The same way the positive feelings of fun, care, loyalty,unity and laughter would still exist. Perhaps it’s not what somebody IS by title to you, but what they DO . And maybe it all depends on how you decide to define friendship. For example , someone who treats you like a possession , who tries to isolate you from the world , who suffocates you and takes away your freedom isn’t being a friend at all if you refuse to allow those actions to be part of your definition of friendship. If the doing actions required to become a friend are the opposite, someone who encourages your freedom, who treats you like a human being , who wants your life to be rich and fulfilled.  Overall I think what I’m saying is words/titles and titles are not important anyway. Whether you chose to use them or not. All that counts is the actions and feelings behind them.

I’m too tired to check that over and make sure it makes sense lol Just thought it was an interesting post so I tried to articulate myself the best I could with eyes half closed :D

BTW I love your username. I wish I was the queen of the clouds.

<i style=”line-height: 21.7px;”>-Endie C

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Don Lafontaine (2) (@Don-Lafontaine) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

I have a circle of friends, but I don’t categorize. I have no “best friend”, that I reserve for my significant other. 

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Mikeal (0) (@Mikealonwheels) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Agreed

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IndEzTheo (1) (@IndiaEzraThelonious) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Friendship shouldn’t be about labels. This is the definition of a high school “friendship.” It isn’t a friendship at all that IS a clique. When you make a true friend (Aristotle’s definition of true friendship) it isn’t about labels. If you are capable of making true friends it isn’t about anything other than an appealing, deep connectivity to another human being, supporting each others goals and allowing each other to express inner creativity, thoughts, and emotions. That is a -mature- true friendship.
Read Aristotle.

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Kevin (0) (@Kevin-Lind) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

BECOME ISEXUAL. LOVE YOU, LOVE ALL OF YOU, THEN DECIDE WHO YOU WISH TO SHARE THAT NEW FOUND YOU. STOP WHINING AND WASTING YOUR TIME, IT IS VALUABLE TO YOU. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. LOVE YOURSELF TOTALLY. YOU WON’T NEED FRIENDS, WHEN YOU ARE ISEXUAL.

KEVIN CARIGAN LIND

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Jen (0) (@Jen-Pelletier) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Well said

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sayantan (0) (@sayantan) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

well, love i think is the greatest of attachments since you are talking about attachments. friendship is just another form of love. Love is never unconditional. Unconditional love is just a myth. And its fact that its a myth. If we study ourselves closely we can understand that we cannot survive without human contact. Human contact means relationship, whatever that may be. 

Friendship, and Love both comes with lists of expectations. For Bf and Gf relationship, parents and children relationship, any kind of love. It is because we all are depended on each other. And illumination is not necessarily about detachment, illumination is about knowing about your limits by educating your consciousness. Different levels of consciousness. Such as conscious of being limited as a friend, or a lover, or son, or citizen of one’s nation or the world.

We surely do have limitations of giving and taking in relationships. Its so very subtle and complicated that we are not conscious about its limitations. And that’s where the uncalled for blunders come into pictures. I guess the paradox of human existence is that you can’t avoid the thing you hate most. 

Well its a too big topic to see every detail, but we all need friends and love. Love has its own limits too. 

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Jared.L (3) (@Jared.L) 4 years, 5 months ago ago

It may be an illusion when you just fake it….but I think it exists between man mostly. 

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Anonymous (1) (@) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

nicely written

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AMusoke (8) (@AMusoke) 4 years, 10 months ago ago

Can unconditional love be there if it has still has conditions we search for and are atractd to?

If so, then are humans even capable of 100% unconditional love? 

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