This is an article I would like to share, enjoy!
"You cannot give, unless you have. You cannot make someone else happy, when you yourself are sad. You cannot lovesomeone else unless you have learnt to love yourself first. How can you forgive someone unless you have learnt to forgive yourself – Osho"
I used to always read about how being spiritual means being selfless, and to give yourself to the "world". I believed this and it kept me from seeing how wrong I was and how damaging what I was doing actually was.
I would always be in a state of lack because I thought I was doing a good thing, and expected something good will soon come to me magically, because something somewhere would reward this kind of behaviour.
But who was actually the "rewarder" for this kind of behaviour? Its actually you and I, because we control 1000 % of everything that happens in our life, even the punishments and rewards.
There is never an outside force, but all forces act from within you and manifests into the world you see. So understanding this, without having there is no giving.
We are energy regulators, we control everything in our personal universe, which we all have. So by us having a sense of lack through our "doing" good, this is doing more harm to the external world, and the people around you. Everyone is an aspect of you, a reflection of your beliefs. You must first have abundance, before you can give it out to everyone.
The act of selfless giving, isn’t a bad thing in itself. It is the recognition of other’s lack, and the understanding that other’s are in a position where they may need more of what you have. But when you are in a state of lack yourself, generally people will be selfless in order to gain something else, from some unknown dimension where things will be given to you.
That is giving your power away to an idea you have formed from society. There is no "out-there" that will give you what you want, there is only "you". YOU give you what you want, both physically and metaphysically.
"You cannot give, unless you have. You cannot make someone else happy, when you yourself are sad. You cannot lovesomeone else unless you have learnt to love yourself first."
So by being selfish simply means putting yourself first, in order to help others. There is the selfishness where you will help yourself, for the sole purpose of greed and personal satisfaction. This is selfishness and this is wrong. But when you becime selfish with a state of mind to help others, there is nothing wrong with this. This is the first step in all selfless acts, is to first help himself and get his own path in order.
There is nothing "selfless" about putting yourself last and having this affecting your state of mind and you living circumstances. This is personal sacrifice without self love, which is damaging.
But when you put yourself first, for the benefit of others, this acts as inspiration and leverage to push you towards your own personal success.
Sebastian: “Preaching seldom works, Isabela. To change a person’s heart, one has to lead by example.”
The heart keeps the best blood for itself, it may seem selfish but if it didn’t do that it would die and the rest of the body wouldn’t get any blood and thus also die. The more you have, the more you can give. If you have nothing, you can’t give anything.
I completely agree. It’s almost impossible to try and give when one feels that there is a void. Those who do, seem to begin to resent the giving process and gain resentment towards those who they give to. It’s a very delicate balance one must strive to keep.
Great post, but how exactly do you come to “have” something to give? I guess you start by loving yourself, but the nature of the idea seems so context-sensitive that I am cautious about the practical effect of the expression of such ideas (i.e. whether they are always the most effective means of DOing, since they rely so heavily on the dualistic perception of self/other rather than the interconnectivity of actual events).
In other words, the only way to completely love the flawed perfection of the human condition is to experience sadness and thus gain an empathy and acceptance of such emotions and their secular manifestations, thus being able to view events in an interconnected light. Thoughts?
@aaron I’m not 100% sure what your’e saying, but it is all a state of mind. Abundance is a state of mind, and state of minds usually arises from external circumstances. e.g. Some get a sense of abundance from a well paid and secured job.
However that is societal rule, a depiction of the ideal way of “abundance”.
What society doesn’t tell you is that the feeling of abundance can be achieved even if you have NOTHING. You can feel happy, joy, and abundance even if you have absolutely nothing going for you. And this, will bring you more joy and abundance.
By feeling like you already have, then are you able to receive more.
It is all relative to your own beliefs, state of mind, and how you filter it through your own life.
“The heart keeps the best blood for itself, it may seem selfish but if it didn’t do that it would die and the rest of the body wouldn’t get any blood and thus also die. The more you have, the more you can give. If you have nothing, you can’t give anything.”