I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few years now and our relationship is going really well. However he has been addicted to cigarettes since before we met, and I have never smoked a cig in my life. I try to be understanding about his addiction. But I’m worried for his health. He always says he wants to quit but he never even makes an effort. When I push him to quit, he gets annoyed and rebels. When I back off, he just keeps on smoking as always. Any advice about what I can do to help him?
He has to want it. Of course he will say he wants to quit someday, but it will have to sink in his mind that he is destroying his body (and bankaccount) with this, before he will do anything. You cant realise that for him, he has to do it himself.
You can try to figure out why he smokes, though. There is more to addiction than just the substance, he is trying to fill a bottomless pit in his soul with it.
I dont know if this is legal where you live, but an ibogaine session would propably help.
1. Sounds more like he says that he wants to quit, because it’s what he’s expected to say.
2. Depending on location there is the option to switch method of getting it into his system, snus is a nice alternative (smokeless)
3. Some people have great results with hypnosis
How have you approached the topic when you’ve brought it up? I used to be a smoker and any time someone addressed it, I’d get all defensive about it and play out the typical ‘I can do whatever the fuck I like’ drama. This video was a game changer for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zkFIAGplf8
He basically says ‘If you like smoking, smoke as much as you like. But before you do, be sure you do like it. Don’t lie to yourself. Is this something you’re choosing to do or is it really a choice at all’
If you can get him to see things from this POV, if he hasn’t already, then maybe he’ll feel more up to it.
Also, do some sports together. One of the biggest motivators for me was knowing how physically weak smoking made me. Coughing up half a lung after a short run brings the truth of it home.