How do YOU bring out the best in people?

Jools (@joolscalangi) 10 years, 9 months ago

You are a ball of ideas and positive energy and everyone you are with enjoys being around you. Yet you have friends or acquaintances who are constantly depressed and lack confidence to excel in their careers, relationships and lives. Their negative vibes tend to affect you in some ways – so how do you use your positive energy to help them bring out their best?

April 12, 2011 at 3:50 am
Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

It’s hard to change negative people. Best thing you can usually do is separate yourself from them. Maybe they will catch the trend of positive energy and start hanging out with the same people that you do. Usually, a person is like the people he/she is around, so bringing them around more positive people like you will help them out :)

Jordan Lejuwaan (23,445)A (@jordan) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Great question, Jools! I think a person can only be helped as much as they want to be helped. Any more and they will feel uncomfortable and react negatively. Having said that, if their being around your positive energy isn’t breaking their force-field of negativity, why not confront them casually? Like “Hey man, why are you so down today? There’s so much good stuff going on, how could you not be ecstatic to be alive?” Nothing too personal or demanding, just a friendly push in the right direction. Maybe they need someone to talk! An open invitation to talk about their ‘condition’ might be just the thing to cause a shift in their attitude.

Amelia (0) (@mississippihippie) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I ask myself this question so often. I happen to be a bouncy, bubbly, ball of energy, however I have a friend who is quite the Negative Nancy. Regardless, I love her with all of my heart and I let her know that as often as possible. Some people will always be negative, not much you can do about except be your happy self and hope that some of your sparkling personality rubs off on someone else! One of my favorite quotes applies to this question, I feel. It’s by Juan Mann, the founder of the Free Hugs movement. “Everyone has problems and for sure mine haven’t compared. But to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time.”

Maureen Anne Satana (2) (@blackcat143) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

Talked to them privately and ask them what they want. Then make them feel like they can say everything thats on their mind… sometimes this will take a lil effort especially if your talking to a person who’s likely nothing to say or they just don’t want to talked because they are scared of something.// best to do is you should be the first one who’s going to tell him/her the things you wanted and the craziest things you’ve done, the fun you experience while doing the stuff you freaking love… at first people will think that your weird and “out of order” (lol) but lil by lil they will feel natural around you and you’ll be surprise of the things that SOON will happen… ^^

—> JUST myEXPERIENCE .,,, lol… ;p
and TALKED NAKED all day… ;D

it also help if your going to KICK the ASS of that person one time… lol.. For sure he/she will not going to forget yah, 100%… lol

Anonymous (0) (@) 10 years, 9 months ago ago


mitch (18) (@mitch) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

I know this sounds stupid, but what kinda questions do you ask people? I’m always down to listen, but I don’t really know what to ask.. I’m always down to just hear what people feel like they want to say at that time. Keep it real. I don’t wanna seem like I’m prying, I don’t care to be nosy, I just wanna listen to what is on someone’s heart. Expecting people to just talk doesn’t work, so I accept I need to ask questions, lol. garh.

Anonymous (0) (@) 10 years, 9 months ago ago


I think it’s an intuitive thing that involves an awareness of how people are feeling. A purely intellectual conversation can be boring (e.g. many high school & college courses). The best intellectual discussions arise out of a deep emotional identification with our ideas about the world.

Look for what people identify with and relate it to what you identify with. Ask simple questions with a genuine curiosity that reflects your desire to emotionally identify with people.

Conversations are often directed by those who ask the questions. Use this power to lead people into opening their soul for you and with you. It is this kind of awareness of people and interactions that moves mere communication into the realm of communion.

This is the true experience of ‘keeping it real’. We all have soul, and some are less open with it than others, but how could you degrade this mutual attempt (to honestly open your own heart in order to see anothers) and call it ‘prying’. You could not because it is in the nature of the soul to be accepting and not a flibbertigibbet.

Not a stupid question at all, by the way. We should remember to ask people what kinds of questions they like to ask. Haha.

daveb (119) (@daveb) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

One thing I try and do is differentiate between those who are actively choosing to be negative, and those who simply haven’t learned that there is another way. Some people when presented with any thoughts of change will be quickly dismissive – “I can’t help it, it’s just the way that I am”. Those people in my experience tend to stay the way they are. I don’t know how to get around that belief, since it’s at the root of all their other limiting beliefs.

On the other hand, there are many people who simply have never been opened to the idea of choosing happiness, people who only think they’re powerless. Waiting until that kind of person is having a positive moment and then asking them about it is sometimes all it takes to get them started on the kind of conversation Aaron is talking about.

m. (8) (@mjmf826) 10 years, 9 months ago ago

@ Dave: absolutely agree with your depiction of the two negative types and how to approach people who simply feel powerless. Right on!

Viewing 8 reply threads
load more