How I feel today

North (@north) 10 years, 4 months ago

I feel this longing. I long for more than I see around me, yet I haven’t learned to experience everything around me in a meaningful way. I reach moments of pure bliss and hope, only to fall back into sloth, absent mindedness, and jealousy. I want to be close to people, but when the moment comes, biological reactions occur inside that close my mind and heart. I long to absorb everyone around me. Is there something to this longing? How do I reach it? Even writing this is filling me with fear. I feel so distant from everyone. My face feels like a lie. Cynicism is my worst enemy.

May 24, 2012 at 6:34 am
Anonymous (2,654) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

You’re allergic to your own hormones? :D

No need to feel bad man. Starting a conversation is always a good experience. :)

I don’t know what else to say right now. Discussions aren’t usually conversations and someone is going to post something compact and wise so they could feel good about themselves. So you should be glad that you’re just sharing and someone responds, because understands how you feel. :D

When I feel like this, I push myself to watch what I like, even if I am not in the mood. I am hard on myself, like you, but only sitting and wondering what would happen “if”, only prolongs the pointless situation. What’s up!

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

By the way, since I mentioned it, there are a lot of people on this site experiencing this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferiority_complex

And most of the time it’s annoying that they don’t realize it. :)

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Matthew (1,127) (@ojai) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

I agree with Sasho whole heartedly on both posts.

@north, the best part about your problem is that, despite the experiencers belief, it is actually very common. I think a lot of people get so caught up in themselves with stuff like this that they just forget how to stop seeing things in a certain kind of “I’m without, I need to be with” sort of light. I’ve found this can be a very vicious cycle. There’s a hunger and a longing for comfort but a lapse in how to go about it, many of times.

“I reach moments of pure bliss and hope, only to fall back into sloth, absent mindedness, and jealousy. I want to be close to people, but when the moment comes, biological reactions occur inside that close my mind and heart.”

I’m sure many can relate. It’s not always easy to get to where you want to in terms of your psyche and how it affects your life. Some people might have, some not at all, some a little bit, some have to work at it. For me, how I go about it, is by taking this longing (because you said it yourself, it’s a longing, a passion) and transforming it into a part of me. I mean, you already have this longing…that tells you something right? Sounds like a sign of hope to me. I feel like it’s about actually being motivated enough to take action on this feeling. You’ve already identified the ‘problem’!

“Motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.”

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