How is your death? Let me share mine.

dr. hamsa (@s7221919) 8 years, 10 months ago

I hope this is the right place to post this. I was just wondering how many heathens have experienced their death. I would like to share my death and loss of ego with all of you. This may be wordy and have a lot of boring lead up, but I still feel like sharing it haha : )

It was a beautiful day in late summer/early fall. It was my first time trying lsd, I chewed up 3 tabs of the strongest acid I have ever found. I biked into the city in broad daylight as it was kicking in in the true spirit of albert hofmann (kids don’t do this). During my journey it was impossible to tell how fast anything was traveling, everything was forming beautiful triangular patters and leaving melted trails behind. The traffic lights glowed in gorgeous shades of blue, orange and purple. My ability to navigate was considerably diminished, I had to go on a very roundabout journey were I traveled about twice the distance I needed to. I finally arrived in boston and made my way to the monument in boston common feeling over exposed. The trees danced, with leaves of brilliant red brown green orange turquoise and purple. I swear I could see, and smell the wind and hear and feel a vibration within it with a whole melody of tones. I was no longer looking at anything, rather I was absorbing everything around me with my peripheral vision. When I finally stopped moving my mind was overwhelmed with epiphanies one after the other, so fast I could barely process and categorize them. I heard the music of the city, a sound reminiscent of a duo of electric violins and huge glass chambers and bells vibrating, layering over each other and feeding back into itself with an energetic buzz that sounded like light dividing. I reflected inwards and took a look at myself at first it was unpleasant. I couldn’t help but see all of my flaws all the mistakes I make, the greed, the anger, the insecurities, and the subconscious thoughts that held me back. It was revolting, until I realized I had power over it. I rejected almost everything I had become up to that point. I realized I could no longer continue being a shallow and damaged person. I felt the death of my ego and felt ecstasy. Having been relieved of a burden I never knew I had, I felt tremendous relief. I felt like I had just put down the weight of the world, and as a result I felt so light I thought I could just float away. Now full of energy I felt like there was a huge vortex coming out of my heart absorbing everything around me, like a black hole only in the most positive way imaginable. Sensing the onset of the peak of my trip slowly approaching on the horizon I felt a rust of energy building up inside of me. I could no longer stay stationary so I started to walk. Once my feet started moving I felt a powerful bliss from it and started running, which intensified the feeling. Now I was in no way in shape or a particularly good runner. But I became forest gump, I couldn’t stop it and didn’t want to. I ran though the entire city, from the common to fenway into brookline, to cambridge, to back bay, to downtown. Only stopping for water, hearing quiet ethereal whispers from people I passed though their mouths did not move. Eventually after countless miles the sun was starting to go down and I found myself in the garden along the fens. And for the first time during the trip I looked at the sun.

Bam an amazing combination of sensations that felt so alien yet so pleasant I felt the splashes from the waves of my energy washing out and becoming the energy of the garden. Then after a single pulse sensation I felt the energy I had only just Identified as my own drain out from me like a giant lung exhaling radiation that spread out into the cosmos falling into stars and creating new elements. I felt my soft tissues liquefying and exploding out from me slowly as if I were surrounded by strange magnets. I felt my bones go cold and turn to dust. I felt my body become absorbed in the dirt and produce life. I felt my soul slowly drift out from the dimension I was born into and drift into the orbit of a machine of light and souls. It slowly drifted around in a descending orbit and splashed into the white noise. I then felt connected to everything and everyone, all I could feel was love. I felt part of myself stay in this new machine and part of myself become the whole of it. Then I woke up as a new soul, which was a sensation so strange I could no longer stay meshed with the illusion I was experiencing. I woke up again in my body though i was never asleep. I then felt a new romance for everything around me, every piece of dust, every insect, every tree, every animal, every drop in the ocean, and every particle of air and space. I fell In love with the feeling of my fingertips against each other, the rushing of blood under my skin and sweat pouring off my brow and the feeling of my tongue against my teeth. I sat down and continued loving everything until it became dark. I was engrossed with a sweet and solemn feeling. And a new love and excitement for the life that I would live from that moment on.
Anyway there was soooooo much more but that is all I can remember right now.

January 23, 2013 at 2:04 am
Anonymous (177) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@s7221919, Wow, that is intense and I love the descriptiveness of this experience.

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dr. hamsa (42) (@s7221919) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@rickyferdon, Thanks : )

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Anonymous (0) (@) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

I love this guy, I may join your experience to truly understand your words and you. It would probably be a little later down the line, I don’t want to live a even more elevated existence at 21.

Quite a descriptive message.

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dr. hamsa (42) (@s7221919) 8 years, 10 months ago ago

@grandkintaro777, I wouldn’t recommend many of the things I do, It was a stupid move on my part, you dip your toes before you dive in head first. Also one can experience a lot without drugs or dying too : )

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