I was born an introvert. I didn’t have any friends until very late in my school years. But a need to make people happy drove me into becoming a class clown and eventually, everybody’s friend. However, any form of change would bring out the scared, shy little girl inside of me. Now I find myself in unchartered territory. A world so different from what I’ve known that I sometimes cannot breathe. I study in a college that is far removed from the city. The people here speak languages that I do not understand. I wake up every day feeling as though I’m invisible. I tried to socialise but all I see is competition in the people’s eyes. Recently, on the advice of a friend I went out into the city and had a magical weekend all by myself. I met interesting people. But at the end of the day, I have to come back to this world where I feel so lost at a time when I was only beginning to find myself. The nearest town is about an hour away. If anyone has experienced anything similar, please let me know what else I can do to relieve myself from the unending pressure of the course and the glaring sense of unfamiliarity.
I think that taking this opportunity to explore your inner-world would be the most valuable way to spend your time, including lots of writing. Will it always be fun and enjoyable? No, quite the opposite sometimes, but that isn’t the point. These feelings of loneliness are there for a reason. Get up close and personal with their shapes and textures, find out what they are trying to tell you. Try resisting the urge to distract yourself as a way to ignore these uncomfortable emotions.
You will definitely grow, and when you eventually do meet friends, you will have the potential for even deeper and more interesting bonds.