How to Have an Awesome Social Life and Attract the Ladies

FindYourGreatness (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago

Us humans are social creatures. We crave attention and interaction on a daily basis from friends and the opposite sex. Without this, we feel alone and worthless. I’d even go as far to say that a great social life and ability to attract quality girls is mandatory to optimize your happiness in life.

In high school I used to have quite a lame social life and had difficulty connecting with people. I couldn’t even build up the courage to talk to cute girls in my classes. I had no self-confidence and I thought everyone else was better than me.
This led to many insecurities and feelings of loneliness. It isn’t surprising that I fell into a depression for a few years in my teens because of this.
Thankfully, after years of persistence and “kicking myself in the butt” I climbed out of my shell and completely transformed myself into the man I wanted to be.

Today and I can happily say that I have a very healthy and rewarding social life. I don’t have overpowering anxieties or insecurities that get the best of me. I even have incredibly positive interactions with strangers wherever I go (including above average attractive ladies who would, no doubt, intimidate the average man). I treat them like my friends who I’ve known for years.

After reflecting on my past experiences, I have come up with 10 essential social tips for you to have fulfilling interactions and attract quality women wherever you go.

Step 1: Understand Yourself

In order to have quality interactions you must first know yourself, inside and out. To do this you must understand your past, where you are at currently and where you are heading in your life’s map.

Life is a journey. Once you know your location, you can plan your life out and act towards your desires.
***HINT: This works 99% better than passively waiting for things to happen.

To fully understand yourself, you must search deep within and decide what you want in life, who you want to be, how you want to treat others, what you value, what morals you stand by, etc.

Without this knowledge of self, you have no character and that means you have no ORIGINALITY.

Everyone loves a person with self knowledge. It makes them mysterious and interesting.

Who doesn’t love an interesting person?

Running into a truly original character can be absorbing. Think about the time you met someone who was completely different than anyone you have ever met. It felt like a breath of fresh air and really captivated your attention, right?

Move to your own beat. Be original.

Lastly, DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

Don’t do something for the approval of others. This will hurt yourself and people will lose respect for you because of it.

***Read this great article about where you get your self validation: http://postmasculine.com/validation

Step 2: Understand your ego

Hone the ability to detach yourself from your habits, emotions, judgements and opinions so that you don’t feel attacked or offended every time someone disagrees with you.

Also, be forgiving towards others and don’t project yourself onto them. Understand that whenever you despise a quality in someone, it is only a quality that you despise in YOURSELF. They are just reminding you of that.

As they say, “People are mirrors.”

Forgive people for their weaknesses. They are humans, just like you and me, and humans are far from perfect. We all make mistakes, so we shouldn’t be so critical of each other.

Imperfection is our nature. Accept your weaknesses instead of resisting them.

Step 3: Focus ALL of Your attention

To be a social badass you must be able to focus all your attention on the person you are interacting with.

Not just some of your brain power. ALL of it.

Have you ever been deep in conversation with someone, and all of the sudden they got distracted and looked at their phone. Did that KILL the moment you were having? Was the connection lost? Did it take a while for you to get the conversation flowing again, if you were even able to do that?

I bet so.

This is what happens when the focus is lost in the interaction. It is like a circuit (for all you science geeks out there) that gets short circuited. One moment the electrons are flowing through the wire, the next moment they are all stopped and the connection is lost.

Don’t let this happen to your interactions. Respect the person you are talking with and give them your undivided attention. You will enjoy the interaction more, and they will LOVE you for the attention you give them.

Now, how can you get better at focusing your attention?

Meditation.

In meditation you will learn how to focus your attention and improve your awareness, and finally your presence.

This may seem like obvious information and you may be thinking, “yes, Jack, I know how to focus my attention. That’s what I have a brain for.”

Okay, I understand.

BUT I have to emphasize how much BETTER you can get at focusing your attention, and how much of an impact this can have in EVERY area of your life.
Seriously. Don’t take this for granted.

Here, try out this simple guide to beginners meditation and try it out for a week: http://theconsciouslife.com/how-to-meditate-a-guide-for-beginners.htm

How does focusing your attention relate to your success in social settings?

It will give you incredible presence and people will be captivated by you if done correctly. Have you ever been at a party and observed a bold person enter the room, and the entire dynamic of the room changed? Maybe he or she captivated the room like a bold performer on stage?

That is the type of power you can have with the skill of presence. People notice this because it is the essence of being alive, and everyone wants to feel as alive as possible.

Step 4: Have a Killer Attitude

Attitude is everything.

Learn the skill of being grateful. Instead of complaining about things, wishing you were better at something or thinking negatively in any way, shape or form, start being positive. Start focusing on the things you have and be grateful for them.

Your life isn’t that difficult. Things could be much, MUCH worse. Just watch the news and learn about the civil war going on in Syria. Be thankful that you are not enveloped in the chaos.

Or you could be fighting in Afghanistan and walking through the desert with heavy equipment in scorching 130 degree weather. Does that sound like fun? Would you rather be there than where you are right now?

Take a minute and think about it. Visualize it and imagine the men who are over there sacrificing their lives for their country.

Yeah, that’s what I thought. You don’t really have it that bad.

***

Treat everyone with love. Smile at people.

“One people. One world. One love.”

We are all one people. We came from the same place. We have the same needs and desires: Love, tenderness and affection. We all know what is right and what is wrong. What is joyful and what is painful. We’re all on this journey together and we need one another. It’s time we started showing this undeniable truth more to the ones around us.

Treat the gas station clerk like you would the hot model at the club. Talk to the janitor at school as you would your best friend.

Love everyone.

Step 5: Hone your skills

Be a great listener.

When people talk to you, actually listen to what they are saying (this goes back to focus in step 3). Observe their body language, tone and facial expressions as well. Take it all in.

This may seem ridiculous because you probably think you are a great listener already.
But you’d be surprised how much better your interactions would go if you improved this skill.

Listening means to be engaged fully when someone speaks to you. Pay attention to every word they say, instead of thinking of what you are going to say next or getting distracted by a cute girl who walks by.

Repeat back to them what they said or ask them questions about the topic of conversation to show them that you were listening. They will appreciate this. Trust me.

Another tip:
Don’t agree or disagree.

When personal egos get involved in a conversation and the positive interaction turns into an argument, the good vibes between you will vanish. Nothing good usually comes from emotional arguments in the end. Unless it is a completely respectful and objective debate, I’d recommend refraining from expressing strong opinions until you get to know the person better.

So the next time someone says something and you feel that urge to ATTACK, take a second, stop yourself and just keep listening. Don’t agree or disagree with them. Say, “that’s an interesting view” or “I see your point of view” or “Thank you for sharing” and THEN go on to say your point of view. This way you don’t risk any hurt feelings.

Try to make people smile and laugh.

This tip is extremely effective. I’ve noticed that in order to make someone smile, you have to smile or show them the same or more positive energy.
Every time you do this, it will make you as well as them happy because sharing a smile or laugh is always a win/win situation.

Learn the art of body language.

Most people don’t realize that body language, expression and tone of voice are 93% of interaction. This means that what you actually say are only 7% of your communication. You can say one thing and be communicating something totally different.

For example, think about how many times you were having a terrible day and told everyone that you were “good” or “just fine” when they asked you how your day was. If you think about it, those responses were complete lies. You weren’t having a good day at all and you were not feeling “just fine.” Most likely your body language, expression and tone were communicating this.

Eliminate small talk.

No one likes small talk. It is fake, overly used and kills the quality of interactions.
Next time someone asks you how your day was, respond with something original and new instead of “Good” or “Same old same old.”

Have fun with it.

Step 6: Be Excited with Fear instead of Jailed

Fear is something that holds many of us back when we want something. In most cases in the modern world, it is completely pointless.

Unless the emotional response is pumping us with adrenaline when we’re about to get hit by a car, it doesn’t serve us a useful purpose.

So instead of letting fear control you, take control of it and reclaim the steering wheel of your life.

When you want to do something and find yourself afraid. DO IT ANYWAYS.

You might be trembling. You may be so foggy headed that you can’t even see straight, but go do it. Put one foot in front of the other. I PROMISE you that you will feel better afterwards. In fact, I guarantee it.

Embrace the uncomfortable. Know that it will only help you grow and make you stronger on the other side.

Take Tim Ferriss for an example. He is a highly successful entrepreneur who spends his life traveling the world and writing. As far as I’m concerned he lives pretty darn close to the “dream life” and I sometimes aspire to live a lifestyle like his.

He has a quote on his desk that he lives by: “Do one thing that scares you everyday.”

Think about how much more interesting your days would be if you applied this to your life.

Being scared of doing something means that you are not initially comfortable with it. But going after it anyways will always make you a stronger person on the other side.

Step 7: Go after what you want. Act, act, and act

Do you want something really bad but don’t know how to get it. Or maybe you already gave up because you concluded that it is unrealistic or impossible.

Here’s a simple tip to get ANYTHING you want: Take action.

Do something everyday that gets you closer to it. Keep going and DO NOT GIVE UP. That’s it. You will get it eventually. Guaranteed.

As Michael Jordan said, “I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”

So do what Michael Jordan did and keep trying, and trying and trying until you get there. It is THAT simple.

You might say, “Haha well, Jack, that is Michael Jordan the most talented basketball player in NBA history. He was naturally talented and born that way.”

Well excuse my french but I call bullshit on that. Watch this film if you’d like to learn more about his general attitude, where he started out and how he became arguably the best NBA player in history: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfvuF5qf9v0

Find a mission to work on in your life. Find what makes you happy. Work on personal goals and go towards your desires. This will allow you to express yourself fully instead of holding back your dreams and desires.
Doing this will make you a more confident person and this positive energy will carry into your interactions. Not to mention it will make you more attractive to the ladies as they will sense your heightened masculinity.

Exude confidence and love into the world through your actions. As David Deida says in The Way of the Superior Man, “Lean just beyond your edge.” Find the boundary of your comfort zone and push just beyond it. Keep going, and keep acting. Eventually, with practice, this will become a way of life for you.

Step 8: Have as Much Fun as Possible

Whenever you go out to socialize focus on one thing and one thing only: Have as much fun as you possibly can.

Do not focus on the outcome of the night (i.e. getting a cute girl’s number, getting laid or impressing people), just focus on what YOU can control: Your own actions.

When you focus on outcomes you are not being present. When you are analyzing a conversation while talking to someone, the person will notice and you will lose the connection.

If you focus on having the best time out of anyone else, people will be drawn to you like a magnet. You WILL attract just about every woman there as well. They will not be able to help themselves.

Everyone wants to have a great time and feel as alive as possible. If you are having fun and expressing that into the social environment, people will feed off of your energy and enjoy themselves more as well.
It is a gift to them as well as yourself.

Keep acting positively and people will react positively to you.

Step 9: Surround Yourself with GREAT people

This is one of the most important steps, hands down. Surrounding yourself with remarkable people is mandatory if you want to be your best self and live the life you always dreamed of.

Be selective. Choose friends who challenge you and push you to be better.

Find people with similar drives and desires that you have. People who you admire and aspire to be like.

Seek out these types of people.

How do you do this? Start observing the people around you. Once you notice someone who you are impressed by, go up and introduce yourself. Start a conversation with them, even if you are afraid (see step 6). 99% of the time people are friendly and will enjoy meeting you if you just go up and say hi.

If you think that you don’t have much to offer them, try to figure out a way that you can help THEM.
Maybe in the initial conversation, you learn that they are working on a startup business. Ask them more about it and offer them as much useful advice or opinions as you can.

Put yourself in their shoes and genuinely care about them.

Step 10: Create Your Own Social Circle

Instead of waiting for activities and events to come your way, create your own. Organize events and bring people together.

In western society people are becoming more closed off and alone than ever before. We go from our closed houses, into our cars, and into our offices. We don’t intermingle much with each other unless we are out at social events (and lets be honest, most people only socialize once or twice a week).

What we don’t have is COMMUNITY. We are missing closely knit groups of people (“tribes”).

Remember that humans are social creatures and we need attention, love and affection. We cannot get through this life alone and we need people to lean on when we are weak and visa-versa.

So instead of going along with western society and being lonely and fearful, go out, take action and make your own social circle (if you don’t have one already).

How exactly do you do this?

Start an event, invite all the friends you have and bring them together. Organize a Karaoke night, a party at your place, a board game night, a frisbee game at the park, anything!

Ask the contacts you know to invite their friends. Do this on a regular basis (every few weeks or so) and before you know it you will have a close group of friends.

Remember to care for your social circle and focus on the relationships that lift you up (see step 8). Decrease your communication with the people who bring you down or stress you out. Refrain from inviting them to you social activities. You’ll be much better off in the end.

You will be amazed with how fulfilling it is to have a tribe of your own.

Lastly,
BONUS Tip: Value Your Relationships

Don’t take your relationships for granted. Consider them the most important part of your life, besides your own needs. If a friend asks you for help when you were planning on watching your favorite TV show, go help them. Put the TV show off for another time, record it on DVR and go help your friend. If your neighbor says hi but you are in a hurry, take 30 seconds to say hi and ask how they are doing. That wouldn’t kill you would it?

Now go on, get out there and be the social badass that you were always meant to be. The world awaits you.

February 6, 2013 at 7:50 pm
yoinkie (1,498)C (@yoinkie) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, Your first paragraph almost made me not want to read this. I dont personally feel that if you understand yourself fully, you would crave attention and interaction. Nor do I think not having these should result in feeling worthless and alone. This goes against your first step completely, (know yourself). Ive gone through stretches of being single and being in relationships. I found that before, I use to feel alone and worthless when I wasnt in a relationship or interacting with many different people. But as I started to understand myself, these feeling went away. I dont need a girl to feel like im worth something. I dont need constant interaction to feel less alone. If you truly know yourself, these feelings should disapear, IMO.

And “I’d even go as far to say that a great social life and ability to attract quality girls is mandatory to optimize your happiness in life.” -I disagree again. They help, and are great things to have in life, but should never be the sole purpose of your happiness.

That being said, Im glad I read the rest of your post, because it was pretty spot on. A lot of good information you are providing. I agree with almost everything you said wholeheartedely. I would take out your intro paragraph though, as it doesnt match the mood and flow of the rest of the passage. Good read, keep posting!

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Kyle (131) (@kyle) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Step 11: Just be you, bro.

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Bipolarist31 (2) (@animehigh31) 7 years, 6 months ago ago

Wasn’t this step 11 the main skill of the entire idea and the rest was bonus points on how to improve it? I mean I was kinda expecting the magic words phrases on how to lure beautiful ladies into my life but I guess there is no special “forbidden” notes on that but never the less I like the bad ass attitude. Thanks for inspiring bro. :)

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@yoinkie, Hey man! You know what, thanks. I mostly agree with you actually. I wrote that intro just for the sake of having an intro. I could definitely improve it.

BUT, I do still stand by this: “I’d even go as far to say that a great social life and ability to attract quality girls is mandatory to optimize your happiness in life.”

Yes, you can be very happy and fulfilled on your own with great self-understanding. But with high quality relationships you will be happier and more empowered.

Same goes with attracting the opposite sex. You can be happy on your own, but you will always be happier with the “girl of your dreams” by your side. There is nothing that empowers a man more than having a woman who supports him and his mission, challenges him to be better, loves him, has great sex with him, etc.
If you are unable to attract a woman like this, you are missing out. That’s the point I’m making

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tyler (14) (@crane) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, “I’d even go as far to say that a great social life and ability to attract quality girls is mandatory to optimize your happiness in life.” Have you ever questioned how ego driven this thought can be? Being driven by egoistic thought can be a shaky bridge. It puts your happiness in the hands of other people and your environment-as well as your mind’s ideas of yourself. Not suggesting that you’re wrong…Just throwing in my two cents.

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Koda (156) (@gonzo1603) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, great stuff man, I’ve been going about my life in a pretty similar way and have become very happy with my life. There are still areas that need improvement and maybe some of your advice can help, so thanks

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Anonymous (2,833) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Where the fuck is sitting underneath the trees watching clouds pass in the blue sky.

thats how i get my chicks
they flock

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@ijesuschrist, I’ll have to add that :D

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thedudeabides (15) (@thedudeabides) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, first of all it is We humans are social creatures. us humans makes you sound like you rode the short bus. not bad insight, however, fear is not something to be excited by or jailed by, it is something to be eliminated. there is only one true human nature or natural law that is love. fear is the opposite of that. all emotions come from one of the two, fear or love. it is our instinct our human nature to experience and show love to all. fear is something we should all try to eliminate as a defining characteristic, don’t ebrace fear ego or guilt anger remorse regret….they all stem from fear especially ego. that is a fact son.

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@thedudeabides, You are saying we can eliminate fear altogether. Well let me ask you, have you eliminated fear from your life?

If yes, go do this: Go to the nearest Karaoke bar on a Saturday night, walk up to the stage, choose a song and start singing. Let me know if you have any of these symptoms: Nervous feelings, foggy headedness, butterflies in your stomach, shaky voice, nervous laugh, stiffness, etc.
If you have any of these symptons, guess what you’re afraid.

If you passed this test, try this: Go to the nearest lake/river and jump off a 10-25 foot ledge into the water. Make sure the depth of the water is at least 12 ft deep and that you can perform the jump safetly and legally. Did you hesitate at all?
If you experience any of the symptoms listed earlier, guess what, that’s fear.

Fear cannot be eliminated completely. One must accept it and learn to deal with it.
Maybe if someone spends their entire life working on eliminating this instinctual response, MAYBE they can eliminate fear. But I’ve never heard of such an accomplishment.

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thedudeabides (15) (@thedudeabides) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, i did eliminate fear. i had many fears – economic, social, financial, emotional – but i’ve chosen not to be fearful, thus eliminating fear. also i won’t be walking up to anyone in a bar. i say this because my choice of human interaction and the social caliber measured in intellectual comraderie I choose to experience is lacking in places where the clientele has to imbibe chemicals to get out of themselves to feel comfortable being right here, right now. also if an opinion that differs from yours bothers you so perhaps the fear of someone disagreeing with your perception of your beliefs is not conducive to posting any opinion at all. it’s just feedback, an opinion, a different view. chillax broseph. Or instead don’t be so fearful of someone contesting your words. anger, resentment, discontentment are all forms of fear. are you embracing your fear right now or being jailed by it? the fact that this is bothering you doesn’t seem to be embracing, rather confining like a jail.

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@thedudeabides, Haha. Well let me be clear:
This is not bothering me and I am not fearful of your disagreement.

Good luck with the eliminating fear thing.

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gilberth (4) (@gilberth13) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, HA! dude it was a great post. Idk why kids hate on it. If you don’t think its good advice, don’t take it. Homeboy was just putting some basic ideas out that I think ARE important for alot of people. I doubt you are a social psychologist so there will probably be some hole in the philosophy, but everything you said was solid advice. It isn’t something that I struggle with, but I can appreciate someone putting something so intangible into words. Social interaction and social success can never be a formula, but if it helps anyone, then it was worthwhile. Thats the point of this site, and I am guessing the point of this post in general. Let him be, humans. Great job @jpete011, keep doing your thing.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, WOW, thanks bro.

-> ASIIIIIIIIIKE

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Anonymous (37) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, I really enjoyed most of this article. It’s nice to see someone not only change his life, but be so reflective as to how things have gotten better.

But certain sections of this article struck me the wrong way, mainly the lines relative to attracting the opposite sex. The article seemed like a way for a man to improve his personality so that he can obtain his ultra attractive dream girl. I think it’s the use of the term “quality women” and when you talk about successful interactions with “above average” attractive women who would “intimidate the average guy.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with attraction but an attractive partner isn’t really the holy grail. And it is kind of cyclical to work so much your own personality but see the goal to be obtaining those women who are out of your league. It could be seen as objectifying. Like I said, I really liked the article, though. Maybe I’m reading too much into this or misinterpreting it. I think another add-on tip, though, would be to learn to stop caring about physical attraction as much as possible. I know you say to treat people the same and love them (the gas station clerk and model scenario), but there’s a deeper necessity to that. Yes, treat them the same, but work moreso on actually believing that they’re the same.

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Dick (364) (@dick) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rachclam, substitute the word ‘woman’ with ‘man’

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yoinkie (1,498)C (@yoinkie) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@thedudeabides, eliminating fear sounds like one of the worst things a person can do to themselves. You are basically making yourself one dimensional. Fear should be embraced, aknowleged and thought out. It helps you grow as a human when you can look at something that you are afraid of, and think about why it scares you, why it brings up these emotions, and how you can go about that fear. eliminating fear is not only bad for growing, but it is also dangerous. You are basically going into any situation without thinking it through(because fear makes you evaluate your decisions).

And @thedudeabides, you have not eliminated fear from your life. All you have done is grown your ego. This is quite evident by your second response. @jpete011, responded to your first post very well, asking you questions and not implying anything. At no point did I think your first response was “bothering him” as you stated. He was very civil, and your response was completely egotistical. By pretending you dont have fear in your life, all you are doing is doing yourself a great disservice.

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Anonymous (37) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@dick, I’m saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea to focus on physical attractiveness of people in general, regardless of gender. The article could be about how to improve your personality to land a super hot man and I’d still have the same view.

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Dick (364) (@dick) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rachclam, Ok, fair enough, but I don’t see a mechanism by which I can arrest my physical attraction, it’s hardwired. I think the message is that if you follow his advice you will surround yourself with beautiful people physically and otherwise. Of this group of people some you will find physically attractive also. Above average is a good thing. To me that means athletic/fit, intelligent, thoughtful, confident and attractive. Physical attraction is an assessment of breedability. “Will it make good offspring?”. Most animals will select their mate based on this assessment. It feels right. So I don’t see anything wrong with aspiring to be with someone who ticks all the boxes.

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@gilberth13, Thanks man I’m glad you liked it. And yeah, social interaction is an intangible and complex topic. That’s why I’m so fascinated by it

@rachclam, I’m glad you enjoyed the article in general.
Now, on the attraction parts of it: What is wrong with aiming to attract quality woman into your life (from a man’s perspective)? -By quality, I mean what @dick, expalined: athletic/fit, intelligent, confident and just an all around healthy person mentally and physically.

Secondly, what’s wrong with aiming to attract a physically attractive woman? You know, a LOT of guys out there are incredibly intimidated by hot women. The types of women many would consider to be “9’s” or “10’s.”
There are highly successful businessmen who can give presentations to large audiences, organize events and run a company, but when they are faced with approaching an attractive girl at a bar, they freeze up.
Or if they are able to talk to her and even go on dates and start a relationship with her, a lot of times they will pedestal her solely for her looks.
Seriously, this is a problem that many, MANY guys have.
It is all due to their own insecurities and inability to identify the difference between sexual attraction and emotional connection/friendship.
They will overly infatuated with a hot woman, and mistake it for love.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with attraction but an attractive partner isn’t really the holy grail.” –Well it sure doesn’t hurt. But yes, I think it is important to focus mainly on the connection you have. Without that chemistry, the relationship won’t last and the sex won’t be as deep or fulfilling.

“I know you say to treat people the same and love them (the gas station clerk and model scenario), but there’s a deeper necessity to that. Yes, treat them the same, but work moreso on actually believing that they’re the same.”
–Yes, initially treat them with the same respect and decency. Do not put the more attractive woman on a “pedestal” just because she’s hot. As you would with any ordinary stranger, feel them out, get to know them and take it from there.

Lets go a little further:
In the case of the hot woman and the gas station clerk, it depends on the man’s intentions and desires. If he wants to have sex with the attractive woman, it is completely necessary to be more aggressive and go after what he wants (continue the conversation and get her number and/or ask her out). If he’s not just looking for sex and would like a healthy, lasting relationship, he may feel her out more, read her character and see if they’d be a good match.
As for the gas station clerk (who is not physically attractive, lets say), he may talk to her and be friendly and polite like he would with any stranger. He may think she is really cool or he may just think she’s an “ordinary gas station clerk.”
Maybe he is even attracted to her personality despite her physical un-attractiveness, and asks her out. There are endless possibilities.

The bottom line is, one should begin all initial interactions with strangers on a relatively even scale, and then feel them out and judge their character from there.
But when it comes to a more physically attractive person, lets be honest in most cases neither sex can help but value them a little more.
It all depends on the person, their character and what they value.

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pat (169) (@epath) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, Really? That is the purpose of women, to support him and his mission? Are you living in 1950?

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rachclam, Good point. Personally I find expression to be way above looks, health, intelligence, etc.

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Fuck a social life and attracting ladies if they are only drawn to me because I am fitting their role for me. Be your own social life and sexual attraction. Maybe I’m a recluse but the evidence is against that.

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FindYourGreatness (345)C (@jpete011) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@epath, Generally speaking. If the man is playing the more masculine role in the relationship and the woman the feminine role, then yes. If the woman is playing the more masculine role and the man the feminine, then it’d be the other way around. This is less common, though.

Sometimes, especially now a days, the masculine/feminine roles are equally balanced. In that case there wouldn’t be much of this “yin and yang” in the relationship and there also wouldn’t be much sexual polarity.

So it all depends. Thanks for pointing that out

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Anonymous (2,833) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@jpete011, The real question is are masculine and feminine roles purely constructs of our society?

Are they ingrained in us, and thus accepted as norms?

I believe that is the case, and thus adhering to them without questioning them is foolish. Using the actual labels “masculine” and “feminine” is also counter productive in the view of truly being a good person. Women have estrogen, men have testosterone, but the way they manifest in a relationship is far from obvious, and to believe we know what role each of us is predetermined to take is also ridiculous.

thus I don’t like articles like this.

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kae (17) (@agapeinflux) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of these tips are great for someone looking for new ways to add more inspiration and improvement in their lives but as many others have said, I can’t help but cringe at the idea of doing this all on the basis of attracting a quality partner. I think these are things one should own up to just for the sake of pursuing a happy life for THEMSELVES, not with the intention to bring about a quality relationship with sexy ladies.

@ijesuschrist, Couldn’t of said it better.

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