How to let go of judgement

sssofia (@sssofia) 6 years, 7 months ago

This is something I’ve been struggling a lot lately, and honestly I just can’t find some kind of solution, anything that helps me avoid it… besides the obvious: Just don’t do it. Easier said than done. I had a couple of awkward situations with people I thought were my friends, besides trying to get out of a really dark stage in my life, and now… God, I wish I had more patience and tolerance with people. I’m always analyzing every single action of everyone, making my opinion of everything. Yes, I think at some point I have a lot of anger and resentment inside me, but I just want some kind of advice… any advice to make peace with everything around me, and most important: myself.

January 5, 2016 at 3:11 pm
raebow (0) (@raebow) 6 years, 7 months ago ago

I was just thinking on judgement myself.  I think we do it all the time. Judging people by what they wear what they say….I put them in categories : poor/rich, nice/mean, smart/dumb…all dichotomies . It colors my whole experience of living. I do not want to make judgements any more. They always prove that I am not thinking but reacting.  So I am trying to acknowledge that 1) I am making a judgement, 2) and hoping that in that acknowledgment I can let go and create space for growth in myself.  Carrying around all those judgements is so tiring isn’t it?  I have just started this acknowledgement practice and it will be interesting to see where it takes me. 

sssofia (5) (@sssofia) 6 years, 7 months ago ago

Just a few minutes I was reading about mindfulness, and yes, I decided to start the same acknowledgement practice too. It will be challenging, but definitely worth it. Thanks for answering!

Anjelica (101) (@Anjelica) 6 years, 7 months ago ago

I don’t think that when people started encouraging non judgement that it meant not to draw your own conclusions. To me it means more like don’t look up to or down on people even though you see through them sometimes. At the same time, I consider how much I don’t know about other people’s actions so it’s not really useful to waste time being sure about and forming your own judgement of your self by your judgment of others. 

Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 6 years, 7 months ago ago

I don’t think it’s possible to stop judging completely because it’s just a part of being a conscious being with a brain. However what you can do is notice when you do it and make a habit of reminding yourself to not just believe every thought that crosses your mind.

We all have asshole-ish thoughts, but it’s just as possible to have such a thought and immediately tell yourself “hey maybe that’s not exactly true, don’t jump to conclusions about things you dont know about.” This can stop your thought pattern of judging others before it develops into something deeper. 

This is just a mental habit you’ve acquired over time, could be for a variety of reasons (trying to protect yourself from disappointment? Wanting to feel knowledgeable about things rather than admitting you don’t know? Wanting to feel superior?) but now that you are aware of it you can change it. Don’t get disheartened or beat yourself up if you don’t change right away, it takes time and effort.

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