I can't find myself in this world

 Melisa (@Mely903)6 years, 11 months ago

Hello, I have been lost in life for about 3 years now. I studied International Business, but the corporate, normal job life does not fill me. I feel like I can’t adapt to this society, but I can’t find my purpose, my reason, my passion. I feel stuck, nothing happens, nothing really fills me up. I can not find my joy. I have tried to get a normal job, but every time a go to an interview and see all the cubicles, with these people acting like robots, I get so frustrated because it is not what I want, but I need money (I think) and the pressure from my family and society it’s been increasing. I have read that if you find your passion, and start working on that, money will come easily, and life will be great. But that’s my problem, I don’t want a normal life, I’ve always had a problem with authority and people that want to control my life, but I don’t know what kind of life I want. I feel so lost, I wake up with no purpose. I have tried reiki, I have read so many things online like highexistence, and other similar web pages. I have read “conversations with god”, but nothings seems to help me. I don`t know myself. Only thing I know is that freedom is the most important thing for me, and that a normal job won´t give me that, but still I have to eat and survive. I hope any of you can understand what I’m trying to say, and can help finding my passion, my bliss, and the real me, to finally enjoy the experience of life.

July 10, 2014 at 4:08 pm
Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

think about that statement? you can’t find yourself…?

How can you not find yourself?

When you were a child I can bet you were like me :)

When i was a kid i knew exactly who i was.

I wanted to be an inventor, and an artist, and an explorer of the planet and space :P

I think as children we all know who we are, but then as we get older we become lost and get confused.

We become lost but don’t understand we are lost.

Instead we say we can’t find ourselves, as though there are two of us?

The one searching, and the one you are searching for.

This is called duality by the ‘super’ intelligent people like scientists and phycologists and all those other rule followers :P

But there is not two of you.

There is not one person searching for the true you being the other you that you see yourself as in the future.





but sometimes all it takes is for someone to remind us ;)

and then we realise the point wasn’t to find ourselves, but to remember that the one that is searching, is exactly what he is looking for….


it sounds a little complicated when i re-read it, but not so sure how i could put it any simplar :D

I hope this helped you atleast a tiny bit :P



Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago


You sound exactly like me :)

this blog i wrote was about me being in your exact situation and then what i did about it…

maybe if my strange words don’t make sense to you..

my blog might be more enlightening maybe??

Check it out and let me know if it inspires you or answers any of your questions :D

hope you start feeling better soon sis!!!


much love <3

Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago



Who wants to go on an EPIC adventure with me? :P

Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Ray (4) (@brainofmorbius) 6 years, 11 months ago ago


I am a lot like you in that I never felt comfortable in the regular working world. I have had a lot of jobs over time, lasting from seven years to just a few days, for small family businesses up to big corporations, blue collar, white collar…many different industries. I went to college twice, got two separate degrees, and now use neither of them.

Ultimately my place is in freelance work, artistic/creative work and self-employment. I do several different things to get by and they change from year to year, but mostly I think of myself as a writer and novelist. It is what I always wanted to do since I was a child…

And I think this type of direction is the only thing you are going to find gives you the freedom you seek. Self-employment is harder than a regular job, but its also more rewarding. You can make more money or less, but if you are doing something you really enjoy, you find the money isn’t so important. When you are self-employed, your social status is far less important so you need less money to project an image, which is another added benefit.

We are really in a golden age now for people to create their own jobs. There are multiple ways to find funding online for small business and artistic ventures. There are many ways to start things up for free and see where they go, and whole communities of people that will support you and guide you along the way.

I think this is your future. But if you go back into a regular job, which is likely, try not to let the discontent discourage you. Instead, let it motivate you to work your way out of the 9-5 routine into permanent freedom.

Melisa (1) (@Mely903) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Hi Ray, I’ve been through that, I tried to start my own business, but it was so hard and ended up on disappointment, because still I couldn’t find what I love, and the business I had started wasn’t definitely my passion, but freedom is still the most important thing to me, and I know a regular job won´t do me any help. I’ll just keep looking for my passion, and I don´t care if it takes me another 3 years, I’m not going to give up, and I am not going to sell my freedom.

Thank you so much for replying

Ray (4) (@brainofmorbius) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Don’t think so much of self-employment as starting a business perse. That’s a old-world way of thinking about not having a job. That is, you can be “self-employed” without all the work of what a “business” actually involves – licensing, employees, complicated taxes, regulations and zoning etc. etc.

There are many ways to make money online for a living now that don’t involve any of that. You can create and sell your own art, music, videos. You can write, help companies think up inventions, counsel people, you name it. And none of it has any long term obligation.

You get paid for what you do, then you are free to leave that behind and do something else.

Then are many paths to the freedom you seek. You’ll find what works best for you eventually Melisa. Good luck!

talline (0) (@tallineamoguis) 5 years, 8 months ago ago

Hi Melissa. Hi Ray. I can relate to you. I am a Certified Public Accountant and is graduate a masters degree but I haven’t made use of it. In the past years, I was employed in five jobs ranging from Academe, public and government. My past job was in a government. It was considered a reputable position in a reputable organisation. But I gave it up. It’s really hard for me to do regular jobs. I don’t want time to dictate what I am going to do in my everyday life. I just want to live according to my own rhythm. Before I quit my job, I started to build my own reputation in a freelancing platform. So by the time I quit my job, I had no problem for my source of income. I do freelancing using my skills I gained from my course and my experiences. I am now working from home as a freelancer with a small business. I can consider myself as being self-employed. I don’t have a boss but myself. I work for my clients. And I have the flexibility of working hours and  I don’t need to fight with traffic. And I also agree that when you are self-employed, social status is of not so much important as you have no one to impress. I have the luxury of time and choose what I want to do and I can travel anytime because I can work anywhere as long as I have the laptop and internet connection. I hate working a 9-5 job or 8-5(I am from the Philippines and the regular working hours here is 8-5). I value so much freedom that it’s okay with me to go against the flow. For now, I am also studying web development because I love it and this is also one of the online jobs with high demand and high pay. 

Melisa (1) (@Mely903) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Hi! I cried so, so, so much while reading your post and your blog, but I also laughed, you’re kinda funny :) thank you so much for answering and wanting to help. Your adventure sounds amazing! The only thing is that I don´t know what I want. When I ask myself what I want, travelling gets into my mind, but I am not that sure, so I really don´t know if that’s what I want. I once lived and traveled a bit through Europe (I’m from Colombia), and the feeling I had when I was travelling, it cannot be compared wiht anything I’ve ever felt before…so I guess….that’s my bliss? I don´t know, but the idea of travelling more is been on my mind since that experience in Europe; the thing is….I literally have no money, no job, and no visa – cause, you know, we colombians, need visa for almost every country in the world ¬¬ – Whatever…I feel like going to Asia :P. I’m gonna start “planning” the trip, and if I feel fulfillment just for the idea, so I wil be sure, travelling around the world is what I want. This is so funny, because while I`m writing this, I’m finding myself and I am getting all the answers :P Once again, thank you so much! and…I’m a girl hahaha

Blah (363) (@tentninja) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

haha i’m sorry you cried and i’m glad you laughed :D

Don’t worry about not knowing. I only realised what i wanted to do properly and clearly about maybe a week ago?? haha :)

I had no idea what i wanted to do when i went travelling i was just running away from problems in England.

Everything i did happened by accident, i never planned for any of it too happen.

You have to let go of trying to figure out what you want. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW!!!

This is the pressure you’re talking about. Everyones telling you to decide and hurry up before you run out of life.


if you do it will make you go crazy like me :S :D :P lol

and being crazy like me has its perks :P

But sometimes it has its downs as well :(

but it doesn’t mean you wont be ok either.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

We require these downs we experience in life so we have something to compare our ups too.

If it wasn’t for the downs, the ups wouldn’t be so impressive would they ;)

haha, so don’t worry!! JUST ENJOY THE RIDE!!! like you would do in a roller coaster!


Its all just experience, and that experience is only what you let it be.

If you want to make it painful it will be painful.

If you want to make it enlightening it can be very very very enlightening :P

Its all about making that choice :) and if you don’t pick one yourself, you’ll just automatically pick a random one (usually the painful one).

Just live, and love, and communicate on communities like this one, exactly as you are.

Talk to people, and learn about new things.

In time you will find your passion.

In time you will find your bliss.

BUT!!!… oonly when you stop looking for it :P

Its a bit of a mind fuck i know…

but you can either go through the pain of finding that out like i did… or you can just take my word for it if you deem me trustworthy to save you the trouble and extended pain ;)

If you want to travel then travel!!!!



if you want more info about that site just message me :)

haha i’m so glad by that by the end of writing that you started to figure things out :P

haha, i know you’re a girl but i type at ridiculous speeds and i miss letters out a lot haha, conviniently that mistake turned you into a male. i’m sorry that she turned into a he :L haha,



onlybalance (0) (@akenken) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

it doesn’t take much money to survive. people can get by on very little. everything else is really there to make you more comfortable but it sounds like comfort is not what you need anymore. as scary as it may be you should try to do something drastic and unexpected. go travelling, go to festivals, go to art galleries, talk to strangers, say yes to everything, look at beautiful things, look at TED talks, read the news or listen to music like its written specifically for you, act on impulse and stop caring what people will think about it. whatever scares you go out and do it. Look back on your life with appreciation and eventually the ideas will come and something will come forward that you know you want to do. and when it does your probably gonna be so pleased you studied international business because you’ll know exactly how to make what your doing work.

Kris (328) (@kjbaran) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

Simple solution: Just spend more time with yourself. In Knowing within, you’ll come to Know without.

Stirling (0) (@Recxagon) 6 years, 11 months ago ago

I kinda feel like I’m in the same place as you. What I try to do is just forget about everything, and just live! Explore around where you live, go for walks to a river or lakes, head to the city, look at the buildings and thinks of all the Junk that had to happen to make it what it is. Deep thinking and experiences are key to being happy. Just focus on the now, the future often times works its self out n_n

SoulPerfection (25) (@soulperfection) 5 years, 8 months ago ago

This issue has plagued me for years. I found i have been happiest living a frugal life with minimal possessions and expenses but this only by passes the need to work a 40 hour week. I still have the problem of having of finding purpose.

I will say that the past few years of living simply and spending much time to myself i have grown tremendously, i can barely recognize myself in the mirror these days, however that root cause of wanting to make a difference, spending my time doing something rewarding remains untended too.

Perhaps our time is yet to come…

Peter (116) (@Gismo) 5 years, 8 months ago ago

Damn, this is one of those moments that make me think that there truly is something ‘collaborate’ about consciousness.. I cannot put into words how perfectly this post describes my current predicament.. 

I quit my job (in a firm I created with two others guys) because I felt the same way, no purpose, no.. “I want”.. even now, I’m just working parttime in the firm to support my living, but I don’t like the work.. need the money (I think ;-)) – I have no bullets of wisdom that will lead you down the road to the blissfullness of having a purpose and comitting to furfilling it.. but at the very least I can give you the confirmation that you are not alone in this feeling of incompatibility with the current normality of the working world and in the pursuit of purpose..

The recommendation I get from my surroundings is mostly to just try out different occupations, maybe something for you? but my body shuts it down even before I have filled out the application, maybe having been independent restricts me from thinking I can reach my bliss as a ‘slave’ of someone elses ideas.. Currently having no original ideas coming into mind, I keep searching with introspection/meditation and the pursuit of positive experiences, as well as grasping any challenge I can to at the very least be progressing on the personal front.. I fill my void with one word currently, and that’s .. patience.. just patience.. I keep believing that somehow, somewhere, sometime, it will all work out for the best.. not to be void of action, but to wait, poised for attack, for any action that the instinct supports with a flourish of positive affirmation.. 

Keep believing, don’t surrender to the rushed river but float and ride the flow, all the way to the shore of your paradise ;-)

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