I dated this guy for about 4 months a year and a half ago. We didn’t really break up (and we were never “officially” together) we just kind of fizzled out and I haven’t seen him since (not that Ive been avoiding him, I just haven’t run into him). We have a lot of the same really good friends at home (we are both in college away from home). Last week, I was hanging out with a mutual friend of our (but one of my best guy friends) and we got to talking about relationships. I spoke to him about my relationship with the guy and how insecure and immature he was about everything and how he drove me crazy. My friend then proceeded to tell me that he had had lunch with my ex and our other mutual close friend this summer, during which my ex told them a story about me. My friend said they had just been talking about girls and laughing and my ex had to them that (SORRY FOR THE TMI) when I had given him a hj, i had been doing it too hard and hurting him, so he couldn’t cum. This story was a LIE. The real story, was that I had barely touched him and he came in like 10 seconds. I had told almost no one the story about him because it was obviously embarrassing for him and I just kind of think stuff like that should stay between the two people. Now, I understand that not everyone is as private of a person as I am, and that he was probably just trying to look cool in front of his friends, but this has been bothering me ever since. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? He had to have made a conscious decision to make up a lie about me. It wasn’t even to his friends that I have never met. It was to two of my really good friends. I just cannot understand. It is making me so uncomfortable. I am obviously over the relationship because it was over a year and a half ago and its not like I was in love with him or anything, but just the principle of the situation is driving me crazy. It is making me terrified of starting something with someone new. I am just so scared of getting mistreated and taken advantage of the way I was with my ex, and I know that not all guys are like that, but how do I know if a guy IS like that? I am just so scared of feeling that way again. I guess I am just wondering if anyone has any insight/advice/words of wisdom… thanks all xo
“he was probably just trying to look cool in front of his friends, but this has been bothering me ever since. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?” lol
In all honesty, you’re just putting way to much time into this. You realized that one dude was a dick and there will be more. Sorry, but just ante up again and again and eventually all will pan out.
@angelinaballerina, Why is he doing it? could be multiple reasons. Theres really no point in asking that question you plan on asking him directly, because you wont get an answer. If you want to psychoanalyze him for the fun of psychoanalyzing then go for it. But every one has a different mental “reality.” There own set of issues.
In his case he could of just been trying to “fit in” with the guys and so he just came up with something. Who knows? People have issues. They become more obvious the closer you get to them. Wait until you move in with someone.
@ericaleeper, yeah I mean its not him I’m concerned about. I just can’t really understand why anyone would do that. I guess i’m just scared. i’m developing something with someone new right now and this whole thing has really been bugging me because i am scared he is going to do the same thing to me.
@angelinaballerina, My two cents; he’s embarrassed by what happened, he didn’t know you well enough to know you’re an honorable person that would keep his premature “happy moment” between the two of you, so thinking you gossiped about it he went on the offensive to smear you. i hope you gave him the best ten seconds of his life, cause he sounds like an ass.
@angelinaballerina, @bryce is right! He was probably embarrassed that he’s a 2 pump chump! (no offense to anyone who is!)
Isn’t it strange how people can be so insecure about something when the person isn’t judging them in the first place, and in return they just end up making others feel like garbage!