This is my first post on this site and I thought if i could get an answer, then it would be here. I have lots of problems but thats for another time… Theres something thats been tripping me up lately. I just started a new job a few weeks ago and theres this girl i met in training. I was interested in her at first she is attractive and her personality is so different from the rest I just had to get to know her. I later found out she has been in a relationship for a couple years now and seems happy. I let it that go and we became good friends but theres just something that keeps bugging me. I keep getting a strong deja vu like feeling like I’ve known her before but after getting to know her we walked a totally different path that there is no way I met her before this job… What do you guys think? I really don’t think i’m getting this feeling because i’m attracted to her. If it was that simple then I wouldn’t be here. Am I getting this feeling because she is important to me in some way? Any feedback would definitely help me grasp the meaning of this “feeling”.
De Ja Vu type experiences are special. And I dont know why. But I know for a fact that every one in your life is there for a purpose and they each have something to contribute to you. Just as you have something/ a lesson for everyone you meet. Now this girl may be attractive, but she has a bf. So I say remain really good friends with her. Seems like you guys have a lot in common, so let that grow. Relationships come and go man, and maybe its better that your just friends, because u get to keep friends forever, Less drama and such. FOLLOW YOUR FEELINGS.. theres a reason you want to be close to her, AND theres a reason shes in a relationship. so i say just be friends, let the universe take it where its supposed to go
Be careful brother. You may deceiving yourself and not even be aware of it. This kind of “infatuation” (for lack of a better word, or not) is often almost always completely internal. In that our subconscious Ego projects these feelings onto our conscious mind, in an attempt to get the satisfaction it wants. This is dangerous because our Ego never wants what our true self wants or needs. In this scenario the Ego can be like an emotional junkie. Doing anything it can to fill emotional voids and get its next fix. It becomes very manipulative. Our conscious mind can be deluded into seeing things that aren’t really there.
So you need to perhaps take a step back and look at everything and everyone in your situation, yourself included! If she is in a good relationship and is happy, then there is a good chance she doesn’t feel what you feel. If she doesn’t, then that means what you’re feeling is completely being generated internally. If she does feel something (at best I imagine it’ll less intense than what you feel), then maybe there is a cosmic connection between you two worth discovering. But again, that doesn’t mean it could be more than a spiritual friendship.
People may suggest you talk openly with her about this. This is usually the regular response, by all means do it. Just very aware of yourself as you do. You Ego will be waiting to manipulate any response she gives to suit it making you see this as something that it may not be.
An exercise that might help you, is really feeling the reality of “letting her go”. This is like Ego-antidote. Because if you can imagine and then feel what it would be like to say goodbye to her forever and be okay with that. Then it will balance your perspective spectrum and you will be more.open, calm and emotionally balanced to perceive this “connection” for it really is.
This is just one man’s perspective here brother. I don’t you, her or anything about this situation. No one on here can. But this is my unbiased outside perspective on what you’ve explained.
Hope this and any other perspectives you find on here help.