Maybe I’m just being ignorant. Maybe I’m just thinking about myself only. But in the end, I don’t see any point in living. But I don’t want to die either. I keep on living thinking that someday I might get one reason why we live.
Now, some people say live spiritually. I just don’t understand that too. I mean, on a scientific note I don’t even understand my own consciousness like what makes me the way I am, why I think like this, or why I can’t be just normal. My mother tells me to stop being like this and try being normal. She says there’s no reason to think so much, just go with the flow. It completely irritates me. I don’t want to stop thinking. I mean I am not trying to be illogical by saying there’s so much suffering in the world. People get stabbed for nothing. And that law of attracton? Well, I believe that’s the most idiotic law I have heard of. I don’t believe in reincarnations. So tell me why do some babies die? Then it’s not even I don’t enjoy life. I like it. I like spending time doing fun things. But here’s a priblem. I don’t look forward to anything. Life is like an infinte loop of events for me currently. And I don’t even want to change anything. I want things to stay like this. But someday, everything will change. Due to this ideology, I will be crippled, that’s what my mom says. Which is a harsh truth. People are so bad or ignorant in general. They don’t want to support anyone. Yes, there are many who do the opposite and I just don’t even know what to do with this fact. My mom says to end the suffering one has to gain power in this world. But what if I don’t deserve it? No, what if I really and actually don’t deserve it? I don’t want suffering either. I want to be a superhero or do something big for the world but that’s just a fairy tale. Am I thinking wrong? Am I being a pessimist? Am I a lazy bum with no future? I know reading my post might not make any sense to you. I am a very contradictory person. But I like that and hate that at the same time. I am afraid of having my eyes opened because that might lead me to another illusion. I wish time could be stopped literally. Like in a way I could stare at frozen people or frozen moments or frozen sunset for as long as I could. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change things completely. I could make a different me. Then life would be so fun. But then I could never be alone. Everybody would love me. I would be sick of being loved. I want to be alone forever. I want to taste everything alone. I don’t like people. Because they’re either selfish like me, or maybe more or kinder than shit (haven’t met one yet and don’t want to else I will feel undeserving) I have a lot of things. I am thankful to have them. But then I wonder why doesn’t a poor guy have this? You would say, donate stuff or be a part of some organisation? But I don’t want to bring a smile on anyone’s face. It just doesn’t sound pleasing to me I try to be grateful but then I feel undeserving. I think even if someone will tell me, I will think about that advice in a 1000 different ways until I end up completely rejecting it. There’s no solution for my problem. No, there is. It’s just that I won’t accept it.
I say, try to be free enough to experience this existence to its fullest.
Quite simple, first head for financial freedom then freedom from materiel things and feelings that hold you back.
Empty your self and then enjoy the rain on your face, the hot water in the shower, the cold wind on your face, the smiles around you, the laughter, the warm touch of another person, the way the sun penetrates the clouds, how the wind blows up the leaves, how the wave breaks on the beach, how the birdsong makes you feel inside, how the flowers smell, how the food tastes, I could continue for ever………..
Really feel this world. …. what else do you need?
When that, food, shelter and companionship is all you want or need the world’s open to you.
In those moments I find the meaning of life to me, so i’d suggest nothing further or more complex then that.
If you can get to that stage, I think you will want to give that feeling to other’s.
I Love living and I love death as well, that among other things gives you the power you seek.
Its not about some answer or a certain path to life. It is truly the journey and how you choose to go through it.
What if I could give you the elixir of life and the philosopher’s stone? What would happen? More pain? More suffering? or could you use them to save this world?
Can you even take care of your own life? What would your mother say? You think you can carry this world on your shoulders?
Not even superman can.
You want a super power, Ill give you one.
The power of Purpose, its your’s.
Imagine your self to hold the greatest power in the whole existence, you’re a limitless god walking on this earth. You have the power to create new worlds as you please and destroy them as you like.
Now let go of that thought and come back to here and now, If you were able to get to that feeling why should you care about the elixir of life or the philosopher’s stone? Why should you worry for this world?
Use that mindset, mindset of a humble god walking on this earth.
Look at everyone with love, they are lost gods. Just children running around with matches in a world of gunpowder.
Some have gotten further in this world using some laws, Like the law of attraction and others like it, childish.
Enter this game of life with the right mindset and you’ve already won, enjoy the trip.
Stop thinking, start feeling.
True true, did not think about it that way.
There is allot of ”I” in there as I read it again….:’D
I still dont get what you mean though when I read over it:///
I cant see it…
Does there need to be understanding of future and past?
Could you explain it to me?:)
I dont understand your answer but I like it:)
So what if you take nothingness plus everythingness and add it to the now, As a constant (not a good word for it but as close as we have I think)
More simple would be to Imagine past and future as a constant in the now.
So there is only N
so if you think to the future you’re still in N, same with past.
So thinking in P and F is kind of useless if you can stay in N all the time, no?
Lets keep the thoughts just in this dimension, we dont’ have words to use in any others I think any way, not yet.
What can your imagination do?
“I” am/is a control freak… Prisoners are the best wardens. “I” exists only through time, it’s a time machine if you want. It’s a collections of memories in which it projects itself (even in the “now”).
Drama is a really nice and effective prison one can create to protect itself. It offers as well very good questions to ask, like who’s this “I”, who seems to be the main character of the show… And, what’s this otherness, constantly met.
Illusion =/= useless. A character, a mask, is very usefull as an “address”, a “location”, or if you want, as a tool. Which has not intrinsic value exept the one you agree to give.
A philosopher said once : “The limits of my language are the limits of my world”.
Your imagination can do everything, that’s the beauty of it. It works all the time, creating the whole illusion. Which is wonderful… Stop for a while and look around you… Isn’t that incredible how the mind build a full experience out of some sensory inputs…
TL;DR: Who am I ? When am I ?
Real and unreal at the same ”time”
The concept of a time machine is quite silly and useless thing when create in constant now
Or what create in the now is in fact all at the same ”time”
So best is to let go and forget past and future, useless.
It truly is, and how easy it is to change.
Is ”mind” the ”I” that create now free from this strange existence?
If no, want to create wealth?
Do want it?
Everything can dream of in this world,
Everything the mass dies for.
Does ”mind” need to feel and see i?
How much do need to be free?
Ill give this world if thats what it takes.
Can imagine that?
Go there and see how it feels, own it all.
Leave an ”I” there and come back
Imagination exercises :D
What feeling is now?
few of these questions are in my mind as well. But I would recommend trying different things or steping into something entirly new once in a while. Maybe it will help or maybe not but either you will gain satisfaction and knowledge or you will gain experience and knowledge.
This is my first reply here so i try to keep it “short and sweet” :D
I just saw a video on You tube… It was about programmed cell death in microbiology… My conclusion is : We are all just a bunch of cells, cooperateing in a “human” body in order to survive and RE-PRODUCE. Cells don’t worry about things, jet they know what to do and how to do it. They are programmed , all your cells know what to do. They keep you alive in order to reproduce. You get this body , brain, life for free , from your ancestors. It is up to you, to use it for what it is made to .
It is the simple truth of all liveing things. Yet we humans with our “super brains” we feal a bunch of things and, think a bunch of things and we loose the point!
Life is about surviveing and re-produceing! All other things are extra…
If you can not reproduce you still can live a pleasent life.
But haveing kids will shurely keep you occupied and it will fill your life with meaning ! So get started find your way to a nice partner, becous you will need one for this project!
Ps : don’t worry what mom says… you are an individual! Be wise ,good luck!
Do not owercomplicate things!
I agree with highStudent as the most basic and only objective for human beings or any beings for that matter is to learn, adapt, survive and reproduce. All beings are part of the evolutionary process which means the life forms are getting complex and better at adapting their environments which is a beautiful idea per se. There’s two types of learning going on, one is at the brain level which is most fundamental notion we have and the other is the cell level. Our cells store genetic infomation which gets passed on through reproduction. Since we are part of this bigger process, thinking so hardcore about oneself is foolishness IMO. Life is just a term given to the process of existing (just a process), there is no real meaning or purpose to it other than living it in its entirety and enjoying the process. So learn and grow as a person enjoy yourself in the making.
No idea if Jamille is going to see this since the account has not been active since this was posted but the post resonated with me so will add some of my thoughts and break down some parts that speak to me.
“But here’s a problem. I don’t look forward to anything. Life is like an infinite loop of events for me currently. And I don’t even want to change anything. I want things to stay like this.”
To me, it sounds like you are afraid of losing your current self and want to hold onto it even if it damns your future self. The issue is your current self will only be around for a period of time and your future self will need to deal with your current selves consequences. Change is something that is inevitable, from an evolutionary perspective but also from a cognitive perspective. If one keeps trying to grasp on to the now (which only exists for 40 odd seconds) we are likely to miss what could be or actually was. “
My mother tells me to stop being like this and try being normal. She says there’s no reason to think so much, just go with the flow. It completely irritates me.”
Some people cannot understand other’s perspectives either because they do not want to or know how to, you will meet many people like this and when you do you have a few options one is trying to make them understand, let them be or negating them from your life (or ideology). I used to go to the former and the latter, however, I have been trying to simply let people be. It generally makes things easier for everyone without diminishing who they are in your eyes (especially if they are important to some degree in your life).
“People are so bad or ignorant in general. They don’t want to support anyone. Yes, there are many who do the opposite and I just don’t even know what to do with this fact.”
There are over 7 billion of us on earth and there are likely that many types of people, maybe the question should be what makes them bad or ignorant? Is there anything I can do about it or would I even want to? My current perspective is that people, in general, are not all bad or all good but tend to tread the line between (the yang & yin) and depending on your interaction with them you are seeing one or the other or even a bit of both. Perhaps by trying to understand people and their motives you could empathise with them more and actually get a deeper insight into people. This could change your perspective and you could learn something about yourself.
“My mom says to end the suffering one has to gain power in this world. But what if I don’t deserve it? No, what if I really and actually don’t deserve it? I don’t want to suffer either. I want to be a superhero or do something big for the world but that’s just a fairy tale.”
Your mom might be right but then we have to ask what is power? Are we talking about money and influence and if so how? There is a lot of thought that can go into such a statement. Similarly, if you get power does that not mean you deserve it?
My current perspective is that if you can make life worth living for yourself and can make some form of meaning you are already making the world somewhat better and one day you could actually be that superhero even if its only a metaphorical one.
” I am afraid of having my eyes opened because that might lead me to another illusion.”
Everyone is living in an illusion to some degree, if you even just look at it from a cognitive level our brains are hypothesizing constantly as new information comes to us in order to create our reality. The question might be what illusion would you be OK living in for the moment or the next? Perhaps knowing you are in the illusion makes it better because you are aware?
“Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change things completely. I could make a different me. Then life would be so fun. But then I could never be alone. Everybody would love me. I would be sick of being loved.”
As you have not lived (and cannot live) the theorized reality you couldn’t really know if you would be sick of being loved because you wouldn’t be you, the person would be someone completely different. I think to a degree that kind of is the point though. As there is no going back maybe trying to create a future that your ‘other’ self would want could be the next best thing or maybe not?
“I don’t like people. Because they’re either selfish like me or maybe more or kinder than shit (haven’t met one yet and don’t want to else I will feel undeserving) I have a lot of things.”
I’ll let you in on a secret a lot of people don’t like themselves or others either, secondly being undeserving is a good quality (within this paradigm). It means you have something to live up to and maybe that’s what gets people going to be a different future self to become deserving.
“I think even if someone will tell me, I will think about that advice in a 1000 different ways until I end up completely rejecting it. There’s no solution for my problem. No, there is. It’s just that I won’t accept it.”
I would say that you should pick apart what anyone tells you especially if they are trying to get you to behave or think in a different way and that by pulling things apart and questioning you are learning and able to create your own perspective and answers. You can decide especially from the outset that you will just reject what anyone says that is a choice and you should be cognizant that you are making it. By doing this you could be putting a seed of dissent within your own mind and actually grow no matter how much you do not want to.
Imagine we had no sense of memory and we were just conciousness(intelligence) experiencing itself as material expression, we would walk around the earth never going to the same place twice, every step would be a new experience without any memory of the previous one. The world would be infinite and never ending , once we went around it would be completely different and we would never be able to find the place we started. Without memory we wouldnt be able to progress, there would be no sense of identity just expression which never ceases.
Space is our mind , there is no end to the space wich thought comes out of. We are the inside out expression of intelligince.. Anything we can think of is within the boundries of previously expeirenced phases of expression, language is the result of expression. Look how far we have come from developing the ability to express our feelings, the desire to communicate was so intense that language developed out of nothing …. Desire to communicate is the desire to expression…. Matter is the expression of light, our reality the inside out expression of light in its infinite variations, there will never be two humans born with the same experience as another. Exactlly the same form of experession with its own infinite space of reality.
“emotion” is a word used to measure various states of expression. Eyes use light to measure various forms of substances and materials used and needed in order to produce its ultimate being of expression, humans. What we do as a race in its entire existence is a result of that same desire to express whats on the inside and bring it out, into “reality”. There is no end result , we are the end result, the rest is a prolonged , dragged out experience of the first atom expressing its existence. The atoms purpose is its existence in physical expression, its source was nothing…. It’s ability to produce something out of nothing is the intention behind its purpose. The possibilites of what it can create within its endless space of nothing! unique forms of existence based on the materials which exist from that same source of empty space. Look at nature and tell me thats not expression in its most genuine efortless existence.The fact that we have a reality as rich as ours , SO full of experience and possibilities , so many unique forms of expression all from one same source. There is no chance of something that comes out of nothing to have a flaw in its result. The source needs no evidence , its never hiding anything , its forever complete in its inside out expression.
I can relate to this post so, so much. After spending the the past two years of my life exploring different types of spirituality, experimenting with meditation and mindfulness, smoking a ton of bud, and experimenting with psychedelics, I can honestly say I still don’t have an answer to the meaning of life. To the meaning of my life specifically. I’ve gained insight to the nature of the universe but still can not discern a concrete reason for my existence. I have felt more nihilistic than ever recently. I go to school, work, play rugby, do my radio show, play guitar. Sometimes it seems like the only times I’m truly happy are in the booth or on the pitch. Yet feelings of meaningless are inherent to being human. We all struggle with an existential crisis at some point in our lives; in fact, I would say it comes with adulthood. Most rational, self-aware beings will question their existence. It’s natural. I almost think it’s necessary to grow as a person. Confronting the inherent meaninglessness of our existence is vital. The true test of character is how one reacts to this knowledge. Do you use it as an excuse to do nothing with your life? Or do you use it as fuel to go out and make something of yourself, to try to better the human condition as a whole? Up to you my friend.
i think you are a nihilist, not that it is a bad thing or anything of that sort, cause in a matter of fact maybe there is no purpose in life so just enjoy little things that come out of it and distract yourself with stupid tings until death comes along…just like everybody else.
i understand 100% what youre saying. Lately ive been going through alot of stress and overthinking which makes me think and stress about life and whats its really about. I think when you take life into your own hands and make it the way you want and change your whole perspective on it, it can be the way you want. Life sucks and things won’t always go the way we want it to, but honestly I think the way we handle it and react to it is what impacts the results, if that makes sense. You can have all the money and friends and everything you want.. that still wont change how you feel. Sometimes you have to be selfish and do things that you want for you and do for you. You shouldnt have to please everyone else and do what they expect you to do. That takes a toll on you. If you taking time to better your self and change things to make life more enjoyable makes you selfish.. then so be it!