I’m a 17 (soon to be 18) year old female and I just recently graduated from high school.
I have so many years ahead of me to do wonderful things.
One day I will have a house, family, career.. but i don’t know or understand how to get to point A to point B.
Maybe i’m thinking too far ahead and I need to set smaller goals for myself, but even then I feel as if i’ll never be able to get to it.
I just hope one the answers or an idea will come to me because as of right now I just feel as if i’m sort of floating around.
My friends say that it’s probably I just graduated, but I’ve honestly always felt this way about everything.
I feel as if I should be living a different life and not the one i’m living now.
I sort of feel trapped.
I don’t understand what i’m suppose to do about this..
Do I just ignore the feeling and go on with life or should I look into this feeling and act upon it? hmm..
I suggest, take the rest of the year off, instead of applying for a college or university. Take that year to try everything that you think you would enjoy, Eventually, you’ll find whatever you are looking for. Live in the moment and see where it takes you.
The way I approached it is by reading things online and offline, and watching documentaries, about things that would be useful in the future (social engineering, science and medicine, environment, psychology, technology) regardless of what circumstance I would find myself in.
By doing so you expand your perception and you’ll be able to see all the possibilities around you. From there you can decide your next step or what you want to do with your life and how to bring about that life.
Find what you love and don’t let that go. I felt the same way until i realized that without meaning and purpose I was just going from day to day waiting for something to happen to me. That different life you feel you should be living is the one awaiting you, go out and get it :)
Hmm indeed! Since what you’ve described IS how you feel, you can’t very well ignore it. It’s just going to keep tapping you on the shoulder and saying “look at me” until you look at it and listen to what it has to say. Maybe consider the idea that while you are, of course, one whole person, it is also true that you have a relationship with yourself. When you say you feel trapped…I wonder if you mean …maybe disconnected from yourself. It’s very normal to feel that way especially when you’re just making a transition from school and the structure and identity you had in school..so now you feel a bit lost and unsure of who you are. So yes look into it and be mindful of yourself and how you feel. When you say “I’ve always felt this way about everything”…”floating around”…I wonder if you might be depressed or adhd or something…it sounds like it might involve your brain chemistry and “executive function”…maybe do some research on the subject and/or talk to a therapist?
I used to feel the same as you, but have since had my life shaken and worldview drastically shifted (over the course of several years dealing with severe depression, largely alone, and only part time work (allowing an uncomfortable amount of time to think to myself and ‘experiment’ with ideas and such)). I’m 19, male, currently a university drop out (I was a 3.9 gpa student, but with insufficient motivation and depression to boot I quickly realized I couldn’t handle it yet), but I’m ok with that. Hopefully my advice can help you, but who knows — it’s just my experience/opinion after all :) here goes;
My initial thought would be that you’re overly expectant. The more you expect, the more you plan and hope for the future, the more anxious you’ll become and disappointed, and feel like a failure even when most things are going right. The cliche goes that it’s all about the journey, and not the destination, but I don’t think that’s quite right. I think holding a destination takes away from the ‘journey’ before you even begin, it’s just too thought consuming and negative. Though sometimes it’s great to have a destination, I’d say the positive destinations would be better defined as ambition; you should do what you love, to achieve what you love (this being different from a goal, hopefully that makes sense). More of an aimless adventure, learning to enjoy the path you make, than anything else.
In your case, you’re focused on success and possessions. Not necessarily a bad thing, but you’re trapping yourself in the future more than you need to; learn to love the moment. Perhaps someday you’ll live out of a car, or a mansion. Maybe you’ll live with close friends the rest of your life, or start a family, kids or no kids, or whatever. But you’re only hurting yourself by defining a strict end goal. Enjoy the present, and be the person you want to be. So long as you’re proactive, the things you desire will fall into place, but this is very different from attempting to go from A to B. Perhaps you could say it’s more like going from A to god-knows-where to Q, by a combination of chance and deliberation, enjoying all the points you’re at along the way and finding out that Q makes you happy. Not to say B (your goal of house, family, career, and whatever else) won’t make you happy, but if you think that’s all there is you may miss out.
I’m not the best with words, but hopefully that made sense. Perhaps it’d help to give my example… I used to be devoutly Christian, excellent student with a bright future in engineering, closed minded to that which I didn’t understand… My junior year of highschool I gradually became severely depressed over the course of the year, feeling alone, paranoid, anxious for the future, and so on. I questioned everything in my life, and realized none of it held value to me. I didn’t care to become an engineer (the thought of white collar work terrifies me know, I just couldn’t handle the monotony and politics of it all), I didn’t care to own much or have a lot of money, I didn’t even care to start a family unless it just happened on its own. No, none of that matters to me. I like people, and new experiences, and intentionally enjoying everything (even that which most people might consider boring or bothersome). I now live on my own with a couple friends in a house we rent, wasting time and enjoying ourselves (some are still in school, some feel the same as me), and that’s ok. Aside from couches I got as a gift, all my belongings fit in the back of my car, and I live on about $600 a month in total (by choice). Strange to most (though to be fair I am a young bachelor haha), but this is all I ever care to own or do. Someday I may widdle down my belongings and vagabond around, but who knows. I tend to play it by ear, and that’s the way I like it. By developing the capacity to enjoy less, I no longer have a destination, but am on an adventure.
Perhaps that helps and perhaps not, either way sorry for the long comment :) Any thoughts?
My computer is glitching out and tried to post my reply twice, and with random code added in. I don’t know how to delete it is I’m just editing it since the original reply was so long (I’d hate to take up that much page space with extra junk). If someone knows how to delete it go ahead, or let me know and I will. Thanks/Sorry
Don’t worry bout the past or future, remain in the present moment. Then. Follow your highest joy at any given moment when it arises.
The world will be a very different place soon enough, and its not like anything ever goes to plan anyway!