Hi,I’m 21 years old student,i’m going to college wihout any motivation, i hate it,and i talked to my mom, and i said to her that i dont want to go to college anymore,and want to have a better life.She said,or you’re going to transfer to another one, or drop out,and make something out of yourself. I’m grateful to her,because she understands me,but i still dont know exactly what to do. Then again,my sister is insisting that i continue with going on college,because i wont have to work for very very small paycheck,but said that i make my own choice. She is alwas saying to me ,that i live in the clouds,and that im focusing too much on materialism.She is speaking from her own experiences. I think that she’s even sure that im not going to succeed.Because of that,Im that much frustrated.But i just want to travel,and have the things,without worrying how im going to afford it,i want to make my mark in this world and help poor people.,exc.
I really want to work as a fashion model,or in general in showbusiness,but don’t know how. Firstly,I’m depressed,shy and psychologists can’t help me,most of them are incompetent.Althouh i know the reason 4 my shyness and depression,its because im not satisfied with the way i look.I think that my face is nice, fresh,clean,i like it overall.i dont have to wear makeup,.but my body,i dont like, i’d have to loose at least 40 or more pounds.i don’t have the money 4 fitness,and i don’t have the motivation for loosing the weight,although i should’ve. I’m so sad,cause i dont have any connections,i dont know anywone,who could help me. Please help,tell me how to begin. I don’t want to work every day in a shitty job and looking back,asking myself,WHAT IF? Do i have too big standards and expectations?
Hi , My advice is if you want to drop out of college you have to have a plan, because if you don’t know where you going it’s dangerous and you risk to end by doing a shitty job.
For the moment you have your family to support you and don’t have to worry about money so if I were you I would have continued college until I’m really sure about my choice.
Too much weight? eat less, move more. no miracle.
Want to make your mark in this world? practice, try new things, meet people, travel, don’t be lazy and don’t waste your time questionning yourself too much and doing nothing about your problems.
This is my advice based on personal experience, hope that help!
Have a nice day
@paty, This is probably going to strike you like lightning but: life is not easy, you cannot achieve anything with not putting work in.
If you want to change you have to work for it. You say you want to lose weight but you do not want to work for it. Not gonna happen, there is no magical pill for that.
Complaining about your problems is not going to help you, nor the advise that you will get here.
If you want something, go for it, but you need to be motivated and work for it. Nothing will change if you will not take the first step.
First you need to start working on yourself (mentally) because if you do not love yourself and accept how you are, nor you do something to change it, you will definitely not get what you want. Otherwise: the world is yours. You can achieve whatever you want but do not expect it to be an easy road without pain, struggle and effort. Life does not work like that, you reap what you sow.
@paty, Your expectations or standards aren’t too big, perhaps too socially orientated, but your expectations can never be too big. Your problem is you are sitting at home on the internet saying “internet tell me how to get what I want”. You don’t ask or complain that you aren’t already, you just do.
You don’t have connections? Make them. Work your fucking ass off. If you have to work “shitty” jobs in the meantime, do it. And do the shit out of them too. Don’t do anything half assed, what’s the point in that? I’m sick of people complaining about their “shitty/mindless” jobs. If you have a job get motivated enough to do it the best you can because if you can’t you’ll never be motivated to do the frankly sick amount of work required for what ever your “dream” is, unless of course your dream requires less work(very rare cases).
“I don’t have the money 4 fitness”; I don’t even know what that means, you have a body don’t you? Why should fitness cost money. People ran before the treadmill was invented you know? Are you too shy to run in public? This seems like a perfect opportunity to face your fears, something you will have to do to work in show business anyway so the sooner the better. Your psychologists aren’t incompetent, this is most likely a projection.
I don’t suggest dropping out of college. Why would you give up the opportunity to learn? Maybe you should change your major if you are not interested in your current one.
You seem to think that your happiness is waiting for you around the corner, well let me tell you it isn’t. Being slimmer or working in show business won’t make you happier or more motivated. Being happier and more motivated will make you happier and more motivated. Happiness lives in the present, don’t expect to be happier later, be happier now.
My advice is to stay in college and find out what you really want to do. I think working in show business, for you anyway, is just a pipe dream. You need to find something you love doing just for the sake of doing it, not for the gains. This will make you happier.
Also get motivated, even about things you don’t want to do. Like college. This week go to every class and say “ok, I am going to do the shit out of this [insert topic here]” and ask how you can do it better and find the things that interest you and do further reading. Don’t just take notes on what the lecturer says and regurgitate it back up in an exam hall. This is not what college is about. Lectures are just there to give you some basic info, its up to you to do the real work.
And go for a damn run.
You remind me of myself a little bit. I’m not going to go into my whole back story, would be a really long post. But I’m 21, was in college that I hated, wanted/want to help people in need. I didn’t have all of the issues you described, but a majority.
Basically, what I did to get past all of that… I consciously started to live my life to put it simply. You have to accept that everything you are, everything you’ve become, you chose to be. Yes, there was much influence from other people, but the final desicion to accept everything was yours. This is your life, keyword “yours”. Do what you really want to do, consciously make your descisions, and accept the consequences of your choices. Live life with no regrets. Never have a moment in your life where you think to yourself “If only I would’ve done this.” If you do this, no matter what happens in life, good or bad, you will still retain some piece of happiness knowing that a majority of the outcome was consciously yours to make. I would download the moive “The Peaceful Warrior” and watch it. It goes more indepth about this. They are called peaceful warriors because the battles they fight are on the inside.
Reguarding college, if you feel like your not benefiting or will not benefit from the college in the future, drop out, but know the consequences and consciously do it. The first college I went to was a waste of my time per say. I’m in debt $30,000 for an education they didn’t give me. I had time to dropout but I didn’t. Wish I would’ve. Yea, I’m trying to use those skills, but only so they’re not wasted. I thought thats what I wanted to do, but it wasn’t.
Set goals and work towards those goals. If you really want to do something, do it. Regardless of how much money you have, or where your at in your life, someone telling you that you can’t do it, fuck all of that. Consciously decide what you want to do or accomplish in life, and work towards it. People always say don’t worry about money, but do worry about money. Just don’t make your whole life about getting the money to do what you want to do. If you live to make money and make money to live, your not really living.
Before I had these things in mind, I was depressed. My whole world felt like it was crumbling down around me. I didn’t see a point or a reason to do anything. Everything was irrelevent. The only thing I did when I was like this was “think”. I thought none stop about how things are and how they got to be like this. How do things really work? I literally thought about everything. I had some of my most profound insights during this period of my life. I’m kinda glad that all that shit happen to me. I think I needed it. The point I’m trying to make is don’t waste this moment or phase your going threw. I think it helps you think clearer and see the world in a different perspective. Happy people don’t really think about these types of things and just accept things as they are. In a sense, they are somewhat arrogant.
Thats pretty much all I have. I did get motivation from some videos I watched. They might give you motivation too:
How bad do you want succes
7 Natural Laws of the Universe
The truth about money
I ran away to hawaii. There are multiple parts to this. I’m only posting part 1.
Hope this helps.
@paty, no matter how much you weigh you should not pursue becoming a model. It is way too competitive and difficult to get into the business. And if you have self confidence issues that field will make it way worse.
As I’m sure other people have said, nothing in life worth having is easy. Either you will need to work hard in college, work hard at a low paying job or work hard making your own way starting a business or something. Pick whichever one is most appealing to you. Maybe you should study something different that is a reasonable balance between making money and following your dreams. What country are you from?
@aestheticbrah, Are you still observing me? I have to take notes, you know. I seriously doubt you already realized what you’re passionate about. Feel observed.
@paty, Drop out of college! If it’s making you so unhappy get it out of your life. My advice would be to get away from anything negative in your life and try a fresh start. Get a job and commit yourself to it. A tiny life change can bring on so many more changes. You said you don’t want to look back and say WHAT IF but I think if you stay where you are now that’s exactly what you will do. You clearly need something new in your life. I hope you feel better soon!!
@paty, Go for your dreams, shoot the moon. If being a model is what you desire truly, then go for it, all cylinders firing. BUT, like others have said, to break away from the pack you’re going to have to change your life, otherwise, you would already be there. You have to align with the model’s life. Some of these sacrifices might seem big at first, too – for example you may have to give up a favorite food or you may have to give up certain activities in order to devote more time to the work of becoming a model. You may have to also replace these things that you used to enjoy with things that aren’t as comfortable from the beginning, but will be worth it in the end. For example, I’m right now giving up hanging out and drinking time so I can use that same time to work on getting some cool skills, so I can have experiences that are more worthwhile. Also, remember models come in all shapes and sizes, so depending on what size you want to be, you may have to lose more or less weight. Either way though, I’m pretty sure almost all models need to do regular fitness routines and watch what they eat, which, if you want to be healthy and live a long time, it’s something you should be doing anyway.
Also though, don’t go overboard and not eat, or starve, or things like that. Modeling is full of tragic stories of people who become unhealthy out of bad self-image. You will do well in modeling once you love yourself, at any size/weight. Also, don’t think the current fashion trend is the only way to go, either – every size is absolutely gorgeous to the right person.
A lot of people have already said what you need to do on this thread, so there’s no sense in repeating it. But don’t give up, don’t give in to doubt – if this is what you love, don’t listen to anyone who says you can’t.
HOWEVER – it could be good for you to have both a modeling career and have the benefit of possessing a college education. It’s like an ace up your sleeve, once you have it no one can take it away from you, and even if you don’t need it, it’s nice to know it’s there. Take it from me….you DON’T want to spend the rest of your life in a shitty, minimum wage job….if you do, you WILL hate life, you WILL lose your mind. It is something to escape from, at almost any cost. A college degree, while far from bulletproof, at least offers you some protection against that fate, versus none at all.
AND, even if you are well on your way to becoming a model, and even if you are becoming a model AND in college, you may still have to work some shitty jobs anyway while you are on your way to success. It will be hard, it will be frustrating, it may make you want to curse and scream and give up, but you have to stay strong. You have to just remember to focus on your dream, little by little every day. Don’t let shitty jobs break your will or make you think about giving up on your dream, or that you’re not good enough. Just focus on what you need to do to get to your goal of being a model. Take it step by step. Read about careers in modeling or the lives of well-known models to get a feel of what they did, or, if you know any models, talk to them about how to make it in this business.
This has been done many times, your goal is well within the realm of possibility. Stay strong! :)
Thank you,all of you, for giving me an inspirition and little more motivation, i’m still thorned,what to do, but i’ll consider about your advices ,and see what to do. Thank you,really,its easier to know im not the only one who has these problems.Let the Universe and the good Karma be with you all. @askarben1, @filipek, @chekovchameleon, @aestheticbrah, @monkeyzazu, @emmaclaire, @mhart1, @chaselang19, @justinr, @theskafish, @beyond,
and,for those asking me, i’m not from the US. Im giving you all a hug,via Internet :)
you could try out the modeling thing while in college
and like the others said, just run.
I suffer from depression but my source was school, as soon as i left i was much better, find your source
You should stick to college because you are there. Just make a phone call to a modelling company and ask the process, or look it up online for your area.
but depression and showbiz/ modelling are a tough mix. Not saying you cant do it, lots of showbiz people suffer from depression and are shy, people on camera can be different to real life.
If there is not passion, enjoyment or acceptance in ANYTHING you are doing in your life.. then you should not be doing it. No amount of time is going to make you any happier. The only time is Now. You can not change the Now by creating more time. Time is an illusion in your head, so if you want to change your current situation.. do it Now. Stop telling yourself you need more time for this, or more time for that.. in which that time will never get here. Right Now is the time to change. Make friends with the present moment.
Hey no worry I’m in the same shoe as you i am 19th, but I used to enjoy going to school, but because some professors are not so inspirational and I feel college making me limited!!! I’m or happy, so for now I’m getting off from school for a month my plan is to work on myself and make myself stronger mentally and physically. I used to be happy but I’m stressed out person, depressed, and confused too. Although I know I like to have my own bussiness, but now I don’t wish to go to college. For you I would just take some off first from college and would work on myself physically and mentally then I would get a job save up money as I was doing I would educate myself about the fashion and the bussiness and would do interview with bussiness. You see I came to conclusions of something college it’s not the only way to be successful, we all have brain and I’m sure we can do something with it we all unique and at the end of the day we all want to make money so it doesn’t matter what we do as long as it make us happy we are good. We don’t want a lot of money at least I don’t I just want to travel and able to help others as I do and able to have a car and home, and my own bussiness, and social life. That’s all. I know this message is for long time ago but I hope it helps and how are you doing now?