I had a pretty good week…
I guess I really just want to share what has been such an inspiring time for me, in hopes that someone else can get something from it. I am not claiming to know anything, and really I have no idea what any of this truly means, just what it means to me.
I needed a break. I hadn’t had 2 days off together for 3 months. So I insisted on taking a couple of weeks unpaid and took off for Maine to stay with family. There, I wake up every morning next to a river, with woods out the back. It’s the perfect place to reset everything. I went into this week knowing I needed to reset, the grind was getting to me a little.
I spent as much time as possible outside, and hanging out with a great group of people who give off the best vibes I have ever felt from others. This whole time I felt like something was growing inside me. For two days I was feeling waves, vibrations, whatever you want to call it. By the time I had to head home I wasn’t sad at all. I was ready to head home and get stuck back into everything.
This brings me to Monday night, where after not sleeping for 40+ hours I did something I learnt about in this thread here.
I’ve had a few other similar experiences to this.
So now, I guess we get to the good stuff, haha! Lying down I focused on my breathing like I usually do, getting lost in the music, trying not to listen to it, but just letting it become a part of me.
I started to sink into my mind, and all these fantastic patterns and shaped were ever changing in front of me. At this point I could sense my previously opened chakras. I then had this pull in my abdomen, somewhere I had never felt before. And in the most non violent way possible, my stomach burst open. Black and red toxic light was shooting and spluttering out of me. The black and red then faded and turned into this beautiful pure white light.
I then became aware of my breath again, and I realised I had no control over it. My whole chest opened up, and I suddenly felt the connectedness of everything. White light was pouring in and out of me. My breath was the same breath as everything else. Everything in the universe was breathing with me. A wave of sadness then hit me, and it was overwhelming. I was feeling all the sadness of the universe in one moment. I was lost, and in complete despair. I couldn’t understand any of the hurt and pain we have inflicted on ourselves, others, and earth. I was sure I cried and cried, but only felt one tear from each eye fall down each cheek in unison.
Once the sadness had started to disappear, it changed into this huge sense of relief, and I lay in the glow of everything feeling at complete peace. I had this great sense of security, like ultimately, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling a touch strange, but good strange. I needed to pick up a paintbrush. And I did, I painted for the best part of 36 hours feeling so unbelievably inspired. I had no idea what to paint or where they came from but they just happened. It almost felt like I wasn’t back yet, like I had been somewhere else and I was hanging around there whilst being physically here. The last thing on my mind was food or sleep, and I kept ignoring friends that turned up because I couldn’t stop painting. I have never felt more like me.
About 12 hours ago I slowly starting drifting back, ate some food, grabbed some sleep, and today I have even socially interacted with people, haha!
This isn’t the path for everyone, there all manners of ways one can reach this point. But I urge you to try, try everything you think you want to. Don’t let doubt stop you from doing anything, it’s just a whiny little bitch and you deserve better than to listen to that. You are capable of more you can ever imagine.
Its pretty awesome when you reach a point and can say ‘FUCK YEAH UNIVERSE, LET’S GO!’.
TLDR I had a great week, a sweet epiphany, am ready to take everything on, and would like everyone to feel this awesome :)
Indeed, a great post! I think we all can experience some great connection with the universe, step 1 is believing it can happen.
I am currently on my 2nd day of a 10-day (or so) fasting-period, during this time i will have a very “fleeting and calm mind” I have heard, so with some heavy meditation i hope to evolve my spiritual boundaries. Any HEthens who have done any long-period fasting? I am thinking this may be a great time for astral projection aswell!
@manimal, Yeah, thanks man. It’s been brewing for a while.
@paulthewalrus, So good to hear you got something from that :) Positive vibes right back at you.
@kds4, It was the first time I’ve ever not felt hunger, when I usually would over that period of time. I guess it’s a case of getting into a state of mind when you’re surviving on something else entirely. Good luck on your journey!