I have asked myself what I want from life, many people have also asked me, but I can’t come up with an answer. I thought it was because I don’t know what I want, but I figured it out; I don’t want anything from life. They say “Don’t take life for granted” they drum this into us, but I say why not? I don’t want anything so I’ll take what I’m given for granted and not give a shit about what I lose. People think I’m a train wreck, anyone who knows me, but then they don’t really know me because I have it figured out, I see them as the train wrecks. This may sound cynical, but I’m not a cynic, I’m a very happy person, I feel free because of this, I have nothing anchoring me to Earth, I can die tomorrow and not leave responsibilities behind to suffer. People would think they would love to do this but they can’t, well they can if they really want to. The world will go to shit? It already has, you salvage what you can, your own peace of mind, I could starve and die painfully because I have that. I have seen slaves freer than free men and free men slaves to their freedom, I have seen the poor happy and the rich miserable, the answer isn’t where people are looking, it is in not looking.
I have answers to every major problem, but people aren’t interested, and that’s fine by me, I’m not suffering, should I be upset that others are? No, because I will tell you or them how to eliminate that suffering, and wash my hands of it. I’m selfish? Hell yes, and so are we all, even the greatest givers give to satisfy their own minds. I am closer to real Altruism than most, I give because I can, not because I want to, I grow because I can, not because I want to. Want is poison because it breeds desire and fear, and with those bouncing around your head you can never expect to think strait. I can love and feel, but I can never depend on them, I can never commit to them because then they rule my life, another one of many beasts that seek to control me, and that is the downfall of almost everyone, I don’t want to be different I just am and I am probably the happiest person I know, even though I am probably in the worst situation than any person I know.
So don’t feel bad for me, I’m untouchable, don’t envy me, you can get it yourself, you just need to be aware that everything that moves you is moving you because you let it, you empower things to be master over you, that is your doing every time. Oh, a bus is heading for me, shall I move? Why? Because I need to? Because I want to live? No, neither of those, I’ll move because I can, not because I fear death or desire life, those are the worst possible reasons to move out of the way, and if they are why you move you may as well stay where you are, in the path of that bus.
Things that are out of your power happen, but how they move you, or if they move you at all, is completely up to you. Your fears and/or desires deciding that movement for you is nothing short of slavery, if I have to do or die, given an ultimatum like that, I’d die free than live a slave, and that is something people need to reconcile, otherwise they can have the world and still have nothing, but when you have that then having the world is irrelevant. This either makes sense to you or you don’t want it to make sense, there is no wrong about it, wrong is just something you are conditioned to see, but never has there been a black and white situation or answer, the universe wasn’t built on connotation, you just drew imaginary lines then hated things on one side and loved things on the other, which gave birth to the means to manipulate you, and your life was decided by it, you forfeited self-determination by drawing that line. Really there is only one line that naturally exists; the line between the relevant and the irrelevant, what has practical application and what is just curiosity or distraction. If you can only think in terms of your life and your responsibilities then don’t fuck with anything beyond that, in that case you are the perfect person, but if you are fucking with power beyond that then accept the responsibilities that come with it, or you are the problem, in nature that is called cancer or pestilence and it isn’t efficient, it is crossing the line of relevant and irrelevant, it isn’t wrong, being wrong is a good thing because growth follows, that is how science works; trial and error produce the greatest efficiency over the course of evolution, it is a dead end, and you act because you can, not for any other reason, an act of pure freedom, because any act short of that is chained and bound to that pestilence, you will remain cancers bitch.
I rant because I can, I am not trying to make you like me, I am trying to make you like you, not the bitch you have become, so dismiss me for your comfort or dismiss me because you do not understand but don’t dismiss me because you question my sanity, I don’t think a single person can say I am wrong with absolute confidence, most won’t even bother to read and those that do will not take it seriously, because what I am saying changes everything, it changes the foundations you have built yourself on and the only option is to blank it out and go on as you were or destroy the value of everything you believe in, everything you hold dear, but destroying their value doesn’t destroy them, they remain, it just frees you so you can be who you really are, not the scared and hungry mutation that leeches onto those things in a creepy and desperate way.
In the choice between money or death, most will choose money, and that is fine because you can, it is just when you prefer one over the other that you go wrong. Why do you eat? Because you want to or need to? It should be neither, you eat because you can and no other reason. The consequences of not eating are pain and death so you fear it, and in that fear you become a slave; you will fly in the face of your own nature for the sake of such fear, and that means the fear makes decisions for you.
There is natural fear and then there is the fear we create ourselves; the first is unavoidable but does not have to rule you, the second does not even have to exist, you can choose what moves you where and how far, if at all, or you submit to being dragged around willy-nilly. You draw a line and put things to hate on one side and things to love on the other, automatically by the drawing of that line you chain yourself.
You don’t need morality at all; when you neither want nor need anything then you have no reason to hurt anyone, morality is redundant, in such a state you will do nothing but what your nature embraces, something few people do, and such is the reason humanity is so dysfunctional; most people are doing shit their nature cannot embrace, and they only do it for fear, desire or morality, 3 things that feed off each other and make you a slave, 3 things that are redundant without each other.
Well this was awesome. Fuck my shit
This is a manifesto and capital T Truth. Thank you.