I see the path my life is heading down, and I want to change it.

 Kevin (@originalkevin) 7 years, 10 months ago

Hey everybody

I guess I am just looking for some advice here. It will help if I give you some quick background. My two passions in life are climbing and surfing. I’ve climbed competitively for more than half my life and have been surfing for years. High school was great. It was a private college-prep with a close group of friends, surfing all the time, really enjoying myself; I never thought I would miss it as much as I do now. My parents strongly suggested, and still do, that I go to college. Because I am fortunate enough to have them pay for most of college, I decided I would be a complete dick if I didn’t go. So, still wanting to surf and climb while earning a degree, I chose to not go to state universities in California or Oregon, and downgrade to a community college by the beach with a strong focus on transferring to a UC in two years. It sucks for a myriad of reasons. I am fully convinced I could teach the classes I’m taking substantial better than my teachers, but whatever; I can deal with it. The kids are immature and irresponsible, the surfing is subpar, and the climbing gym is about the size of something very small, I cannot come up with a decent analogy right now, sorry. Anyways, I don’t like complaining, but I have never been more unenthusiastic about school. I left all my lifelong, quality friends behind after high school, and I have definitely not met anybody here that I could be good friends with.

So that brings me here, writing whatever this is, asking for advice. I feel like people on this site, from what I’ve read so far, have a unique outlook on life. What I really want to do involves traveling and surfing/climbing. Since being in college, I been climbing and surfing less, and I think I am gaining weight. This is not me. I’ve always been active, always doing something. I’ve discerned that I am not going to college to learn new stuff; I have always done that on my own. Right now this whole situation feels like I am wasting years of my life that I would rather spend doing other things. Am I just thinking short-term here? Will I regret it if I don’t finish my degree now? I feel like my happiness is paramount.

Finishing next semester, my plan as of now, seems to be a good idea to me so I at least have one year completed. But I am not enjoying myself, and I always have in the past; it may sound strange, but this is the first time in my life where shit is not turning out the way I want it to.

Should I finish out the four years of college, or fuck it and do what I want. There’s a great dive master program in the Caribbean, which I’ve been to before, that I would love to do. I think fear and the idea of letting my parents down, by not going to college, is what’s holding me back here. Plus if I don’t attend college next year, my parents have made it very clear I would be completely on my own. I just don’t want this to be one of those situations I look back at and think, “aw shit I should have just stuck it out.” What do I do?

December 11, 2013 at 9:54 pm
BrotherMarcus (7) (@brothermarcus) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@originalkevin Finish out the four years. It’s a small price to pay in the grand scheme nor versus the length of years on earth. It’ll help you. It’s the game of the world we live in. It’s a system that you only need to play for a short time and you’ll enjoy tremendous dividends down the road.

That said, in the meantime- get a side job doing what you love. Your passion. Work at a climbing gym, give surf lessons, outdoor store, whatever. (You said the classes aren’t challenging, so working in your free hours shouldn’t impact your performance.) And- maybe that experience will work out, too. They’d both take he same amount if time anyhow…. Finishing college vs working your way into a possible career. Then you make another choice. But- Then you’ll have that many more experiences to draw on when the next fork in the road presents. Much the way you suggest the folks on here have.

My two cents. Good luck man.

Anonymous (3) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Follow your passions!!!! The world doesn’t need any more people doing things they don’t have any joy for because it’s what society has told them life is supposed to be like. There are enough people like that already! The best thing you can do for yourself, and for the world- is to do what you LOVE!

Go to the Caribbean!!! It sounds like you’d love it there! The entire beginning of your post has such a vibe of just.. lifelessness. Four years is a LONG time to stay in such a lifeless state of being. Go do what makes you come alive, get out of there! TIME is the currecy of your life. Don’t waste it.

To me it sounds like you have to choose between playing it safe and living your life on someone else’s (parents) terms so as not to disappoint them OR facing your fears of taking the road you know you want to take- but are just too scared to. Feel the fear and do it anyway! Fear is a good sign! Follow the fear, because once you get right up close to it you’ll see that it wasn’t so scary after all. With fear there’s always an opportunity for growth.

Also, if you were the parent and your child was trying to decide between living the life they wanted to, or living the life they thought would make you happy- what would you want them to do? Your parents may not be happy with the choices you make but it is YOUR life. At the end of your adventure on our adorable little planet here- the only person who is going to be left to deal with the choices made and the way your life was lived is YOU. Are you going to be proud of what you’ve done with your time here on this earth? Or are you going to look back and say.. well that sucked but at least I made everyone else happy.

Do not settle. Don’t ever settle.



Stephani (176) (@dancingscyphozoa) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Definitely don’t be miserable for anyone else’s happiness.

Firstly, if you’re not already- keep in contact with your high school friends, good friends are hard to come by, hang onto the ones you have.
Secondly, talk to your parents, do they know how much of a passion this is for you? How miserable you are where you’re at? Let them know, and keep letting them know, get some statistics about the dive master program in the Caribbean. How much does it cost, how long does it take, what kind of certificate or degree would you be walking away with and, probably most importantly for your parents, mention the kind of salary you could be making after going through this dive master program. Sell it to them.

If they still insist on you continuing this path I suggest transferring to UC Santa Cruz and sticking it out. There are some good people there and paying for things on your own with no degrees or experience out of high school is not the business.

I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors friend!

lifegamer (28) (@lifegamer) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Hey, Kev…Sounds like quite the conundrum. You seem to be hearing your Soul Sounds, Bud, but Outside World is dousing the song.

Education/Knowledge is fine stuff to never cease input of, though if you can’t use the news, what true ‘good’ is it? If one isn’t putting all effort into their degrees of subject mastery toward a specific field of endeavor, most folks simply end up in plain-Jane jobs working for someone else’s dream, & their lovely pieces of paper get hung on Mom’s wall or stuck in a box in the closet…The college/university ends up with monies more wisely used elsewhere later down the line.

I highly suggest an alternate train of thought. Since you’re still young & physically fit to follow your own dreams of this moment…Why not gear up your input to align with what you love? Business Management is a big plus to have in your brain files…gives you a lot of thinking/conflict resolve skills that are very useful in Life101 & provides a stronger base for your moves…confidence…no matter where they take you, or what opportunity is placed before you.
Since your heart sings so merrily with Water & Rock, dance with them! Learn about them & what moves Them. There’s also lots of sciences behind Designs of human-to-element stuff…aerodynamics, equipment & tools, gravity, & beings that call these elements ‘home’. Such areas of knowing can only make you more One with their realms…and they exist Everywhere, Earth…and often play together. Fine opts for exploration & discovery…Excellent means to create your own path of. Heck, the little kid skateboarders of yesterday are the ones building parks & boards & good business of today, right? They are in their 40’s & 50’s now, still rockin’ the circuits, doing what they love…living their version of Good Life, btw.

So, Kev…What’s your ‘version’? Simply get the knowledge you need to make it your happening. Don’t goal for the paper, go for the dream…whatever it takes. Flow as Water…calm with confidence, yet fierce of passion. “…And with the faith of a (grain of sand), you can move mountains.” Rock on, Kiddo!

Good Journey! :)

Anonymous (12) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

@originalkevin, Dude i was in the same boat last year. I went to college just to make my mom proud. And let me telI you, i was not happy. After sticking out the bullshit for the first year i said to myself, fuck this! I wasn’t down to drop kays on school anymore, i wasn’t down to waste 3 more years of my life and most importantly i said fuck listening to anyone. I flow to my own path. No rush at all. Maybe you should ask yourself, what is it in for me? Moving to your own flow is what matters the most i think, not anyone else’s. If your parents won’t support you, it’s their problem, not yours. You could always work those years instead and start saving. It’s not about what you earn but what you do with it and remember you can pretty much learn anything you want on the Internet plus it’s FREE! FUCK SCHOOL! BE HAPPY!

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