I was an atheist until…

 Spanidor (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago

Apologies for such a long post, but I needed to properly articulate this event:

Being a logical person, I always had a hard time believing in anything metaphysical; I’ve always thought of our world as completely mechanistic, and life as an interesting but inherently useless phenomenon. But, last week, after smoking a small amount of marijuana, I started doing my daily exercise routine, which includes yoga and qigong exercises. At first everything started going normally, but soon I started feeling some type of force between my hands; it felt like my hands contained two repelling magnets. As I became more engulfed in my exercises, the intensity of this feeling seemed to increase. Soon after, I felt a similar feeling in my spine, and as I continued my exercises, it seemed to travel up my spine, until reaching my head. At this moment, I was overcome by an extreme, internal pain in my upper head, but because of my yogic training, I simply started to slow my breathing and embrace this pain. At this point, my spine started popping a lot in various places. The pain in my head suddenly subsided.

Then, an even stranger phenomenon occurred: a thought, which seemed to be completely different from my usual mental dialogue, entered my head. In a calm voice, unlike any internal voice I had ever heard before, I clearly heard a single sentence: “direct your consciousness to the space between your hands.” With this thought, my perception seemed to change. I wasn’t even able to notice what my eyes were seeing anymore; it was like I literally transmitted my senses to this strange sensation of energy that seemed to exist between my hands.

Then, to make things even stranger, for some reason, without even thinking, my perception, which seemed to be located between my hands, shifted. It was like the energy I felt left my hands, and started traveling around my apartment, and with it, my perception followed. I started seeing a pretty accurate vision of my apartment, and I was even able to see my own body, as if I became completely separated from it. This went on for a few minutes, until the loud noise of a neighbor slamming a door snapped me out of it.

Even though this event only took a few minutes to occur, it seems to have drastically changed my perceptions of reality. Though I had been a hardcore atheist for a decade, all of my preconceptions seemed to immediately disintegrate. It felt like I learned something extremely important, yet lacked the vocabulary to articulate what I had learned. I have attempted to induce similar experiences since then, however, whenever I do, I feel like I’m about to disconnect from my body, and then shortly after I experience anxiety or severe doubt/discomfort, and the sensations instantly vanish.

Anyways, to get to the point, I want to induce this state of consciousness again. But I don’t know how, or even why I should bother. I’m not 100% sure it was an OBE, but it undoubtedly affected my psyche, in such a way that I had to discard many previous beliefs and preconceptions. Now I don’t even know what to believe. I feel like I need to do this again, but i don’t know why.

If anybody has experienced similar phenomena, or can explain to me exactly what occurred (or even a hypothesis of what occurred), please elucidate me.

December 22, 2013 at 12:38 am
JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

1. Don’t go searching for something you don’t understand. Take it just as it was, as it is, and go from there.
2. Search for it, train it, become a master at it. Become it. You will see it when you don’t try, and when you try you won’t see it.

^ Choose one of those.

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Justin (1) (@JustinPierce) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Was that your first time using drugs?

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Spanidor (4) (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

No. I smoke marijuana from time to time, and I have for years, but I’ve never got an experience like this from marijuana before.

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maqroonio (8) (@maqroonio) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

So this means there exists a force or energy that is far beyond what we can comprehend. How is this related to theism or atheism in any way?

And i feel so jealous that you could something this powerful. Wow.

And how often to you smoke marijuana and exercise?

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Spanidor (4) (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

I just used the word “atheist,” because many associate that word with skepticism mostly. And, because, as an atheist, I never believed in anything such as a soul, body energy, ect. However, this one experience basically shattered my world view, and now I don’t even know what to call myself anymore.

I have done yoga for years, and about six months ago I started doing qigong, even though I didn’t really believe in qi until this happened. I will occasionally do marijuana while doing these exercises (maybe once or twice a week), because it puts me into an almost meditative state.

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Denialism (9) (@mcrliveit) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

There are many things that totally belong to this earthy existence can’t be seen by our eyes. Atheists takes that view as a pillar for their answers to the enigma of life. In contrast, theists think that things that can’t be seen must come from a Creator’s interference . Life has a lot of solved problems but also unanswered phenomena. Its complexity puzzles many people to think that there must be a God to make this all happens. The ability to think is not fully answered by scientists. Do you think that God drives your thoughts ?

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Spanidor (4) (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

I wouldn’t say God guides my thoughts. Admittedly, after being forced to be a christian during my childhood, I had always had a subtle bias against religion and the idea of God, which is probably why I had been an atheist.
But whatever I felt, did not feel like a God by standard definition. Most people think of God as some external force, which demands you follow, or wants you to teach other people a belief, ect, lest you face a consequence. It wasn’t anything like that.

It didn’t feel like some outside force gave me information. It felt like, for a few minutes, I united with some outside force, and learned from the experience. I didn’t feel like this force demanded I become a better person, or that it even wanted anything from me. If anything, I guess it wanted to show me that there was more to the world than I ever believed.

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Anonymous (30) (@) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

I’ve had many experiences like this, welcome to the club! If you want to experience it again, lean into your fear. As you said the first time it happened you breathed through the pain, but every time since you get anxious or experience discomfort…breathe through them. They will open the door and show you the way.

I can’t tell you what it was, you need to decide for yourself how this experience fits in to your life and what it means to you. Good luck, and have fun!

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LVX (297) (@Vovinawol) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Things like that happen to us because we don’t expect them to happen. You can’t enter that place again now because now you expect something and are now trying for a result to occur. This is also why alot of people TRY to meditate but can’t.

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Cpt (379) (@CptSleeze) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

I believe this is kundalini energy?

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Spanidor (4) (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

I just looked up kundalini energy, and I’m starting to think you’re right: Wikipedia has an article titled “Kundalini Syndrome,” with a list of 9 symptoms said to arise from this energy. Out of the nine, I exhibited six of them.

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geeb (0) (@geeb) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

As its rare but sometimes Marijuana will effect the middle part of the brain which transfers information and will cause hallucinations. i know this because i experienced a similar episode. You might want to look into it but i think ur experience is just based on marijuana and has nothing to do with a power man who lives in the sky. if this has happened to you sober, then i would think different.

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Spanidor (4) (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Interestingly enough, I quit marijuana after this event to test whether or not I can do it sober. I haven’t been able to completely replicate it yet, but during meditation, my entire body feels like it’s vibrating (which, I have been told is common to people attempting OBEs). And now that energy I felt between my hands is constantly there. Like, as in, all the time. Not only that, but now I can meditate for half an hour without thought, as opposed to not even being able to sit still for two minutes last week.

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Spanidor (4) (@asgmz) 7 years, 10 months ago ago

Also I should probably mention that I smoked an absurdly small amount of MJ when this happened. Usually it takes me about three bowls to get up there. I smoked half of one.

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