Im pretty negative

RadiantChild (@rattailbaby) 8 years, 9 months ago

When i really think about it, most of my thoughts are self defeating. Im always putting myself down, most of my thoughts consist of ‘ You arent as funny as the other guy, if you try talking to them they arent gonna be interested, you dont have anything to talk about, your awkward” and i see how its shaped my reality. Am i more negative than most or is this normal? What are some ways i can become more confident? How do I stop the worrying?

February 24, 2013 at 5:53 pm
Nick (554) (@splashartist) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, instead of saying “im pretty negative” change your statement to “theres a lot of negativity within me”. Do not limit yourself so much. You are capable of many emotions/feelings, but they are not you no matter which one arises in you. You are before the emotion/feeling. Just watch these feelings in you, do not cling to any of them. Like a muddy puddle the dirt will settle to the bottom then only pure crystal clear water will remain. Remain still like this water.

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Phil (83) (@urbanuncia) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, In the end, only you can answer those questions because you know yourself best. We can’t tell you one way or the other what your situation is; you have to find out yourself.

Sorry if this isn’t the answer you’re looking for, and I wish you the best of luck. But I suggest that you look into meditation as a means to help you on your search! From personal experience, of course ^.^

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Almeida (304) (@xetado) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, Noticing the negativity is the first step. The second is to change your thought patterns :)

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RadiantChild (106) (@rattailbaby) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@splashartist, Ha! I love it! thanks man!
@urbanuncia, Your totally right, i was just wondering if im more negative than most haha

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RadiantChild (106) (@rattailbaby) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@xetado, I guess thats what im asking, im not real sure how to change the way i think

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Anonymous (214) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, you are absolutely right in that you did create that reality =P

A fun experiment I’ve actually tried, is to spend a weekend somewhere completely away from your norm, like a different town/city, pretty much anywhere you don’t plan on visiting too often. When you get there, BE the person you absolutely want to be. Want to get better with girls? Hit up a bar and be the lady killer you thought you could never be. The people there have NO idea who you are or what to expect so you can literally start with a new canvas. If you mess up, you’ll never see them again so it doesn’t matter haha, if you find that the practice is helping then keep going! If you want to be hilarious, practice some jokes and try them on people you’ll never see again. Practice makes perfect and no matter what the end result of trying something like this is, you have nothing to lose, and only experience to gain =)

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Almeida (304) (@xetado) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, Become aware of your thoughts. When you see a negative one approaching, immediately state something positive about the situation, even though it’s not true. Works for me.

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RadiantChild (106) (@rattailbaby) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@justinr, i like your energy man! hahah and that sounds like a great idea! And your right, i used to be pretty social until i had a 3 year relationship now its like i have to start over haha but ill deff try that, it sounds like an adventure!

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Anonymous (214) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, the only “bad” part about this experience is that you’ll realize you have been funny/good with chicks/whatever the whole time lol

Best of luck to you

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Anonymous (359) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

The biggest realization Ive had about criticizing myself is that I don’t need to be or do anything to “deserve” love. Love isn’t something that is earned. Pressuring yourself to improve to measure up to something is a fearful motivation that sabatoges your efforts.

Another way to look at it is that your respect for others strengths IS a strength- recognition of beauty and excellence is an asset you can appreciate in yourself.

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Denny (1) (@denny) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, I must admit, I think along similar lines most of the time until a quote (I think) on here rang true.

It described a a person throwing a stick at a dog and the dog would chase it.

– it paralleled how we in turn chase our thoughts like a dog with a stick. It asked how a lion responds to a person throwing a stick….

A lion doesn’t follow the trajectory of the stick, it looks instead upon the person throwing the stick.

In this fashion, we might not look at our thoughts, but instead at the source of these thoughts. Be bloody-minded in tracing their inception. From where did they originate. Tackle the source instead of the product. Once we route out the source we can preempt the end result and change it for the better of our own consciousness.

If we give less strength to negative thought-forms, they have less hold on us. The trick is to subvert them from their origins in our self-critical speak- before they become our accepted reality.

Best! I send you actual love in your endeavours X x x

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Amy (100) (@littleamy) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, Everyone has negative thoughts but it’s how you deal with them that is important..it’s very easy to get stuck in a negative mindset when the original cause isn’t addressed, meaning the negativity will just spread into other areas of your life. What makes us mindful is that we have the capacity to feel a rainbow of emotions, but it doesn’t mean you should let one single one define you and your life.

Maybe from now on, every time you catch yourself thinking something that is negative about yourself or something in your environment (a person, experience etc.) take a moment to work out WHY you thought it. When you know why (you might not realise straight away, for me things will suddenly reveal themselves days later, when I was least expecting the realisation) you can work on changing your outlook.

You could also try daily affirmations, and meditation. Having a sense of peace with yourself is what gives you true confidence on the outside trust :-)

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

Do you know who wants to stop worrying about anything and become confident about everything? Ignorant, naive and unrealistic potential losers. Just be fucking real.

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RadiantChild (106) (@rattailbaby) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@denny, That actually makes alot of sense! Thanks bro! Much love

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RadiantChild (106) (@rattailbaby) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@littleamy, Great point. Thank you:)

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Dragon Owl (255) (@dragonowl) 8 years, 9 months ago ago

@rattailbaby, Whenever there is a negative thought in my mind, I find its source (much like what denny said above) and change the thought to a positive. For example, I have intruding thoughts pretty often telling me that I’m not capable of doing something adequately. When that happens, I immediately recognize it as insecurity, trace that insecurity to its source – which is usually something in my past – and tell myself that I am capable. Then I try to apply that new positive perspective in reality.

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