in love with being lonely

T (@tanniar) 8 years, 1 month ago

I realized that im the type of person who loves to be alone. I go to the movies alone, i go to the gym alone, i go shopping alone, i go out to eat alone. I never really minded the quiet that i received from it. I’ve learned to love it actually. Its my comfort spot i guess.

But i’ve also realized that because of my love for it, I don’t let anyone in. I push people out of my life. I try to allow others in my life but then i just disappear from their view. Its like I cant stand knowing that someone might actually enjoy being around me. I feel that im the only person who can actually stand myself.

And it can be very lonely sometimes.

October 29, 2013 at 10:33 am
Di (239) (@dida) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

@tanniar, Glad to know there is more people like that.
I love my company the most. It allows me to get to know myself at its best and feel comfortable with myself at the same time. I can do anything I want and be myself. Not worrying about someone else opinions/mood/comments/etc.
And I don’t mind doing all those thing by myself either :) Just as you said, I can be very lonely sometimes and get that feeling that I would like to have someone by my side.

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MC PRTK (1) (@mc.prtk) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

I can understand your feeling @tanniar, and I too have something similar, though I prefer to be around with a very select group of friends only! A large number of people ain’t boisterous!!!

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

Maybe you’ll be fine with someone that’s the same and you could be lonely together.

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hi ellen (4) (@equalsd) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

Congrats on figuring out you’re an introvert.
This is a problem almost all introverts face; they (we?) eventually realize we’re lonely. We may still love being alone, but everyone want to be loved.
There are 7 billion people and I guarantee a lot of them will like you. Some will even love you, but it’s been said you have to learn to love yourself first. I haven’t figured out how either. Good luck.

@beyond
,
what is this from?

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

@equalsd, My life.

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Kyle (27) (@kylerbbrowning) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

Apologies @beyond,

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

@kylerbbrowning, Haha. I didn’t want that to sound sad. I love being on my own, it’s just nice to meet someone that loves it too. I’m never lonely, it just feels good when my free-thinking weirdness is compatible with someone as weird as I am. It’s a very good thing. :) Hence, my advice up there.

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Illusionarysage (7) (@universal.duality) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

@tanniar, I know all too well the feeling you’re describing. I went through an entire year of solitude, and cut off everyone I knew and loved. It’s like equalsd said, you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. People out there say that this person or that person make me “complete”. But that leads us to deeper problems: no one will ever complete you until you learn to fill the void on your own.

But as with everything in life, there must be balance. I took this notion and ran with it to its extreme – if you rock the boat of life on either side it will eventually tip over. I experienced a deep introversion akin to the anti-social, due to a fear of trust and egotistical independence.

The paths of our lives all intersect. Self implies other, just as black implies white. You cannot have one without the other. It is a shame to start and not finish in life – our purpose is to forever grow, always becoming never complete. And I believe that “others” are involved in taking us there. You can love something but not get attached to it. Presence is admiring but not wanting. As I remind myself every day: balance is the music which life dances to :)

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Cosmic (79) (@cosmicd46) 8 years, 1 month ago ago

@tanniar,

I spend lots of time alone but I have one friend who I can be alone with. He’s independent but not introverted. We can go out and not talk much. Subtle nods and knowing glances replaces words. It’s great because then when we do talk, it has depth. When out, we separately focus on what we’re doing and sometimes absentmindedly wander off in the opposite direction. Eventually we’d meet again, somewhere. I suppose we feel comfortable enough with each to do this. Sometimes it’s nice to have company, someone who knows the meaning of your grunt during a movie without having to talk about. With other friends, I’d feel obliged to tell them what I’m doing – “hey, going over there”, “back in five minutes” – and I’d consider their preferences before going my own way. I don’t resent this but sometimes I find it limiting as I’d rather go where the moment takes me.

Even though you prefer solitude, meet new people often. The more people you meet the more likely you are to meet another lonesome, HE explorer ;-).

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