Introvertism: Should I come out or sink into it?

 Mithu (@kmidhun)5 years, 7 months ago

I’m an introvert who is in my mid 20’s.. who enjoys mostly one on one conversation and often struggles in social situations. Being alone is something that I do to recharge myself. I do yoga and I’m into all those spiritual experiments. I do have a small circle of friends and acquaintance. Being the eldest son I have worries about my future ie, taking care of the family, switching to a new job as a teacher ( frustrated as an office clerk) and getting married to my gf.. getting on with the society and culture and the way everyone lives.. the list goes on. My mind goes blind when I think about it .

I would really love to hear something from my fellow Hethens.. and thanks for listening me.

                     

February 15, 2016 at 3:11 pm
Squazo (3) (@mygrayzj) 5 years, 7 months ago ago

A leopard can’t change it’s spots. I have asked myself the same question so many times, and each time I think of different reasons for or against it. But then  I look at life and realize that even without easily sparking conversation, not being the center of attention, and sometimes being “that weird guy sitting over there” that I am happy where I am. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert (coming from one lol), unless you feel that it has hindered you in life enough to make that change. I personally think we have a leg up on those silly extroverts, but they also dominate us in certain spheres. Life will work itself out, no matter which path you choose.

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Mithu (7) (@kmidhun) 5 years, 7 months ago ago

Thanks for your sound advice.. :)

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Ellie (1,363)M (@tangledupinplaid21) 5 years, 7 months ago ago

Are all of these things you listed things that you feel you need to step out of being introverted for?

There is nothing wrong with being introverted. People who are not that way will always wonder why you are like that and might even make fun of you or try to tell you to be different, or try to make you feel like something is wrong with you, but that is not the case. It’s just a personality type, and doing what makes you feel best is not bad, and you don’t ever need to feel guilty for having certain preferences or feeling more comfortable with less people around.

Sometimes it’s nice to step out of that just for fun or to challenge yourself, and you can often grow like that, but I don’t think it’s necessary to change who you are fundamentally or force anything.
It’s always possible to find life situations that fit in with the way you are instead of trying to fold yourself into awkward shapes to fit into some pre-determined category.

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Mithu (7) (@kmidhun) 5 years, 7 months ago ago

Thanks Ellie that was really helpful.. :)

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samuel (12) (@gogochaos) 5 years, 7 months ago ago

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Mithu (7) (@kmidhun) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

Thanks samuel :)

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Peter (116) (@Gismo) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

As with anything in life, practice will make you better.. If you “subside” into introvertism, then you probably won’t get better at handling those social situations in which you struggle.. If you intensify your extrovertism too much beyond your limit, you risk draining yourself of energy, leaving you vulnerable for worries, depressive thoughts, etc.. So as with much here in life, I say it’s a question of balance.. I don’t believe you’re either or, you’re a fluctuating point between the two poles of categorized desired-social-interaction.. Do what makes you happy and accept yourself as you are, but with practice and effort you can lessen your struggle in those situations to a point where you might even come out of it “undrained”, thereby changing your “fluctuation point” on the spectrum towards extrovertism without “loosing yourself”..

From my experience, I’ve had great success by periodically challenging my introvertism whenever I felt a surplus of energy, this has left my social skill much improved and from a point in my life where I would say no to some gatherings, I now find myself seeking them out on several occations.. Though I still consider myself an introvert as I need time alone to recharge… My advice would be to challenge yourself on this issue, not to “force” yourself to become extrovert, but to enhance your social skill, enabling future possible great experiences you might miss out on otherwise – and at any given time, remember you have the power to leave at any moment if you feel drained/uncomfortable,etc..  and if you happen to do this retro-perspective-analysis of social situations you were in, wondering if you did something wrong/should have done something different, override those thoughts with the thought of “I accept myself as I am” – because regret is denial of self and whereever you are at a given moment in time does not define what you can become later ;-)

Feel free to PM me if you have questions, etc. on this issue, I’d be happy to share of my experiences with extroverting my introvertism :-)

All the best of luck with your endeavours !

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Mithu (7) (@kmidhun) 5 years, 6 months ago ago

Wow! Thanks for the wake-up call Peter. I would definitely consider what you have said. I will be in touch with you soon. Thanks again for the wonderful piece of advice.

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