The more people I meet the more I realize how many people are unhappy with their life. It seems as if everyone is a victim of circumstance, and my question is do people ever get what they desire? Or do we all eventually accept that we must settle for what is traditional (Like going to college, getting a job we don’t like, settling down, “doing the right thing”)? Here’s how I see it. Everyone spends there childhood as a dreamer. We all have so much hope and so many aspirations. But there comes a point in time where everyone is forced to sacrifice their dreams and wants in order to coexist with everyone else in society. To be normal. Is that all that growing up is? It’s like there’s a war between our dreams and a harsh reality, and dreams can’t win. Like you can never get what you want. And all we have to blame is life, as if it can’t be helped. Im not content with just doing what everyone else does. Why do we all forsake ourselves and everything we believe in? As if it’s okay. Why are our dreams taken away from us? If there is no way to grow old without losing who we are, then what is the point of dreaming at all? What is the purpose of life? Because I know it isn’t to waste it doing the things we don’t love.
Im going to speak from my mind and type what comes out of out it so bare with me and ignore any mistakes I may make in this reply, hopefully you will understand my reply.
I beleive are scared, firstly scared of failure and then scared of success, people are in their comfort zones and tend to stay put and conform to things, people and situations around them to fit in this society, we were gifted with the cosmic power of imagination, as Jason Silva said rightfully that imaginaton allows us to perceive different futures and possibilities and pull the present forward to meet it.
People are sad I beleive because their hapiness mostly lays in materials, new cars, new clothes, phones or new episodes to this and that series. Technology has brought us virtually closer but in the process is slowly killing intimate interactions, these days if your approached by someone its because their either trying to sell you something or they want something from you.
The way we are all living our lives (apart from me and you and anyone to whom this reresonates) in such a misdirected manner where we eventually conform and stop following dreams. Most people dont know who they are. Semi awake pepeople ask the question of what is the purpose of life… Well they say that as if it’s something you work your way to and find as Niel De Grasse Tyson mentioned, I beleive the meaning of life is to give life a meaning.
The goal is what you aim for and the reward is in the process, the chase, reach for completion but try to avoid it because thats when the fun ends.
Life isnt about answers, its about better questions.
No matter what, you must follow what you dream for and make sure the journey is as good as it can be, you cant be lost if you have no destination as Tolkien once said. Enjoy life and live it to the point of tears, make life move you, do so much that you will be content to pass away from your body and move along.
I hope this has helped somewhat,
I think that saying “the meaning of life is to give life a meaning” is just plain delusional bullshit. Oh it doesn’t matter so just do whatever you want to. For some people the meaning of life is to ride a motorcycle all the time. How are they important? How do they matter at all? The truth is life is meaningless, nothing humans do matters, except to other humans and themselves. You can rob people or take advantage of them for your own personal gain. Or you can sacrifice your time and health to try and help others. Or you can simply live your own life and stay away from the affairs of other humans.
It all really doesn’t matter because there are so many of us and there are so many smaller circles of human interaction that you will only ever be able to change a few people maybe. Obviously the ideal is that if enough humans wake up and help others wake up that eventually there will be world peace but that won’t happen. There are just as many people spreading hate and each time they do they create a hateful response and that continues the cycle.
The reason that so many people give up and settle for a shitty job, someone they don’t love, and general unhappiness is because eventually their philosophy reaches the points that I just mentioned. They give up.
Now there are smarter and more evil people, usually referred to as psychopaths, that seek to capitalize off of these poor lost souls. They create subliminal messages, unrealistic dreams, easy ways out, basically do whatever they can to exploit others. This happens all over the world in varying ways. An evil person just doesn’t care what they do and is pretty much naturally corrupt or is reacting to evil that has happened to him. A good person has a responsibility to keep as many good people alive and teach them how to keep others alive. Smart Neutral people are usually hurting the world and others through ignorance, dismissal, and avoidance. Dumb Neutral people follow the crowd and whoever is lying the best to them or rewarding them the best. Now there are many outliers and unique people that don’t really fall into these categories but I’d say most do.
Everyone makes a choice as to what kind of person they are going to be. Each kind of life is just as tough to live with as the others. I think it’s as simple as people give up and let someone else control their life. They think it will be the easiest and most painless but in truth it is probably the most depressing and harmful. It’s hard to teach people how to live happily once they get past a certain point but it’s also true that if they keep going they will eventually be teachable again. Humans do have a tendency to get stuck mentally for long periods of time. All we can really do is live our own lives the best we can and try to help as many as we can.
This question brings to mind an old saying I heard somewhere once:
“There is only one thing worse than not getting what you want; getting what you want.” The point is, as we learn and mature we realize that fulfilling our dreams and goals will not nessesarily fulfill us. True bliss comes from the process of attaining them. “Ceasless striving” as Buddha said, this is where life resides.
So I will leave you with a question. When you look back at your childhood and remember the dreams you once had, what do you miss the most: the dreams or the dreamin-ing?
Good one, I completly agree with your point of fullfiling dreams and not being happy. thats my life’s case, I had literally all my dreams fullfilled, and i fell into deepest darkness, because i could still not get what i wanted (contentment). Thats when i cam to meditation and I got straight deep into it, and everything changed (inside me, not outside). I realized how lucky I was to be able to get so deep into myself and find myself and secondly to have reached all my dreams. It was an intense process of facing fears, uncertaintly, and alot alot of lonely hours. I paid big price for realizing my dreams. but not in a bad way, those hours of overcoming all those things made me extremly strong and successful. I am a guru for all my friends, simply naturally cause i was the one who went out and did the things others still dream every day. My message to you KYLON: just look into yourself and follow your heart, even if it doesnt seem to fit with anyone else. Eventually they will have to adjust to you. The world always adjusts to people who follow their hearts (not immediatly of course but eventually), because the heart knows your destiny and is always bringing you on the right track. dont despair and stay strong, dont be afraid to change and try again. Failures are your biggest teachers. PEACE!
I’ve thought about this a lot. I’ve also talked about this a lot. My dream is to get out of my little corner of the world. I want to travel and meet as many people and have as many experiences as possible. I want to feel it all. I can’t do that if I get a regular, 9-5 job. That would anchor me down in my corner undeniably until I reach retirement age, if I make it that far. Anyone I’ve talked to about this has admitted to me that they do share my dream, they want to be free, too. But every one of them has given it up. It seems to be a popular opinion that yes, we are not happy and we are not living very full lives. It also seems to be a popular opinion that there’s nothing we can do about it. This is just the way it is. I’m still coping with (or at least trying to) the death of my dream and the surrender of my life to the work force. I’m in the application process for a factory job. This is the human condition and I sometimes wish I could be “normal” instead of just pretending, so I wouldn’t have to see how wrong this is.
In my opinion it is possible to achief it. As long as you have the money to travel, the guts to be open to other people and the willingness to do so. 2-4 years ago I had the best life I could imagine. I was happy with myself, I knew who I was. I was fully going for my dreams. Suddenly some obstacles came on my way. Now I really don’t know who I am at this moment at this place. I gave up on my dreams and the results speak for themselves.
My advise is to get involved in to a sort of job (or to start a bussiness or a little project,whatever you want) and in the meanwhile just go for your dreams, Do everything with passion. I know it’s hard in society cause everyone just lives by the ‘rules’.
The purpose of life is to make something worthwile for yourself. So if you find a great job, just do it. If you want to travel and learn other people , just do it. Action is the key here. It all depends on your mindset and your goals. You can accomplish something great but you must make money (that’s what society is, get money).
for example, my goal is to be a researcher for a psychedelic study organisation so i can legalize it in meditation centra’s (the dream of albert hofmann). I don’t have the studies, I have nothing yet. It’s going to be hard to achieve but I think in the future it IS possible.
I’m struggling a little bit with the same problems as you. It is quite hard to achieve a dream irrellevant to society.
Good luck !
I believe i tend to drift in and out of mine and others realities. Taking/accepting from others and applying it, or not, to your own is a defining factor in obtaining said goals and dreams. With that being said, i always try and remain positive and resourceful in hopes others do the same. It’s a terrible and beautiful things. Ebb and flow.
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I’ve been in a similar place of disillusionment, and it sucks, but I’ve begun to come out the other side with a lot more hope. Unbounded dreams are amazing and important, they are what fuel the fire of living passionately, but if one only focuses on the absolute dream in a vacuum then dreaming is the farthest you’ll ever get. We exist within a hierarchy of constraints – there are physical laws, governmental laws, cultural laws, and the expectations of our friends, family, and ourselves. Unfortunately we just aren’t powerful enough to defy all of these at the same time and pursue our dreams while remaining ignorant of them. Instead, I’ve found it much more profitable to approach it as: “How can I get as close as possible to my absolute dream using the systems that are already in place.” If you had some ‘crazy’ dream to be president of the Earth and herald a new age of world peace, you can see how that can be translated into achievable terms by using the systems that already exist. You could try to unify the world’s countries into one sovereign state, but I would argue it might be a better idea to get involved with, say. the U.N., and do your best to channel your energy into using and evolving that existing power structure.
In sum – there is never a time when we must give up on our dreams, only a time when we determine how to make them real.
This is a fucking amazing comment. Brendan, you are a true genius and gentle heart for sharing this kind of wisdom with us. I particularly enjoy your comment about the “hierarchy of constraints” that we all experience, and I totally agree with it. There are so many seen and unseen forces that are working for and against us, and oftentimes, methinks, we’re moving too fast to be aware of them all (or, at least, as many of them as we reasonably can be at one time). I’ve been trying to write a book for years now about the prioritizing of our ambitions and the ways in which we can feasibly achieve our dreams, and, regardless if I ever get done with that, I will be forever grateful for this related comment which, again, you have so graciously shared with us. You’re amazing, dude.
Our very language tend to constraint us. We name concepts we see and perceive. We think in terms of what we name. Things like “car”, “job”, “career”. The named concepts and the relationships between them form a system of concepts that describe our world.
This system of concepts of systems can be broken – when we name and focus on wrong things that don’t make us happy: social networks, selfies, jobs, today, tomorrow, deadlines etc. With a broken system of concepts, people end up in an infinite loop trying to find happiness.
It is not possible to be happy with the polluted mind. First step is to get rid of wrong notions. Second step is to form the right notions.
Remove rubbish from your life completely. Meditate. Learn yourself. Observe the patterns you see in you. Name them. This is the beginning.
The dream is never stolen. It’s always sitting in the mind’s eye, waiting for you to believe in your self. That self-trust is the thing that is easily manipulated as we grow up, but never stolen. You have to clear out all the fake dreams to find the most natural path to your happiness. I find that the fake dreams are more extravagant than the real thing.