Let's talk Friends, Moving & Feeling Lonely

Quincy (@forward) 8 years, 6 months ago

Hey HEthens
Please discuss, debate, share, question, criticize or compliment all welcome! A little background for my curiosity, I’ve moved around a lot and did most early on, now 23 a year 1/2 in Jersey, finished 4 year school last spring, no degree, just ended a temp job that I was hoping would go permanent and now in a 2nd semester of county college classes. I haven’t seen any similar posts but thought because this is a topic that heavily influenced that many people could relate.
***No single topic is of more importance, I just find my thoughts/ beliefs are easier to relate to others through describing how and similarly why I believe they are worth sharing with my personal experiences, to relate, explain, emathize etc. easier. Thoughts on one, 2 or all welcome***
Moving especially when young, I’m sure we can all agree, impacts us in ways that are obvious or immediately noticeable and recognizable. New place, friends of past, anxiety about it all, being only one emotion whirling into throughout the mind. But the obstacles, especially to those new places often call, can be tough and affects people in the long run only we know, whether we thought to look, deny even a small bit of an impact or know, accept and go on or dwell.
Friends: leaving behind and/or losing old ones, wanting to make new friends, the acceptance, rejection, outcasting or effort emotionally and mentally and physically it takes to be accepted by others when you might feel abandoned or alone. I think anyone who has moved knows they could shake their head in their palm, knowing how brutal it can be without having the words. Sometimes its easy but even when it was for myself, before I knew I would be moving again, there was still just a gap about the process and the people you know, enjoy and want to see being ‘behind’ you.
I just want to know after moving around so much and so many ‘resets’, practically abandoned by the last group of people I called friends and put my trust in, a mental barrier that desires, but finds it hard to meet, get to know and create new friend/relation ships, I’m tired of being alone, yet loathe myself when settling on company that I don’t enjoy or unbeneficial to us. How has something as simple as a family move impacted you, then and now? I could throw pages of detail to explain but why, how do you think they affected you, initially or possibly longterm (in a way which meeting people/trust issues became problems)? If you are close age how did you try to fill the friend gap in a way to actually meet people trust etc., like-minded? Any thoughts welcome And also how do you define what a good friend is and when you have one.? I think I’ve moved more than the average person and think it all, though I’m grateful for it, has had a huge impact good, bad, mental, emotional… unless I know you I’m shy, reserved, find it hard to trust others, don’t open up much you know??? So, I guess I’ve grown to have higher expectations for friends and a strong definition of what I think being a ‘friend’ ensues and was wondering if you all might think the same?
In all honesty being older, no longer in a conventional school, just not around people as much as I want or am used to I just wanted to hear from others. I’m a chill, sit in a room with music, beer and a few people kind of guy. I detest clubs… and hate social situations like that so just find it hard to not only find friends but good ones, being new, older, a schdule where friend circle isn’t around 4-8 hrs a days…. And it just seems like the hardest fucking thing in the world to find just 1 fucking person I’d give my life to be a friend with.

February 13, 2014 at 5:24 am
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