Life's daily struggles

 VeniVidiVinci (@helios15)4 years, 9 months ago

Hello people,

I am willing to share a little bit of me, my story, my passion and my girlfriend. I am currently a third year Business & Economy student born in El Salvador, Central America, but my passion isn’t economics, it’s Neuroscience. It has been very hard for me to not have the support of my family to study what I love, due to their lack of knowledge of the subject. I was taking a research course in my school and I immediately came up with this Neuroeconomics topic to develop, three very well known PhDs from my country ditched me for picking that subject, one specifically told me that there was no one in the country working on it currently. This didn’t stop me to research on my own parallel to my new chosen topic for the course, so curiously an online course from Coursera appeared in my e-mail notifications. “Introduction to Neuroeconomics: How the brain makes decisions” I am missing the words to explain how excited I was to find this and exactly at that moment when I needed it the most. Now I just enrolled myself to two different courses for Neurobiology and Synapses, and am currently applying to study abroad, hopefully I can make it work.

I met my current girlfriend during university, she’s younger than me, very smart, determined and has a passion for work. I fell in love for her apparent maturity and down-to-earth thinking. People say I’m crazy because I’m always thinking about deep subjects ranging from theology, philosophical anthropology, quantum mechanics, math and just the fabric of this weird thing called existence. So this woman was the analogy of Salvador Dali’s Gala to me.  We began dating and were very happy for the most part, she also had a very rough family life, her father mistreated her psychologically, emotionally and physically. Their parents also divorced and her mother fell in love with another man who later became a drug-addict. She now lives with her grandparents and they also project their insecurities onto her. 

The truth is… I love her with my all my heart. She’s the woman I have loved the most and I have done many things for her and her family. There’s also lots of things about her that are kind of hard to deal with, due to all of what she carries on her shoulders. She is very impulsive when she rans out of a very limited to-do-list when a problem arises. She gets frantic and very irrational at times, uncontrolled and says hurtful things. Not long ago, she said sorry for her reactions and asked me for help to get better and we agreed to have a happy relationship. It hasn’t been that way.

I have never been fond of reading my girlfriend’s text messages, and I knew she interchanged words with her ex-boyfriend. It never made doubt since she told me that he was his friend and nothing more. But recently his name became frequent on her cel, so I asked her to see her conversations for the first time. She became very nervous and anxious, and effectively I noticed that they talk every single day from the very moment they wake up and throughout the day. She also writes to him things like “hey, I missed you, I’ve been wanting to share lots of things with you.” 

It killed me.

So he knows I am his boyfriend and she knows he has a grilfriend, but still that type of interaction hurts me. So now I find myself in this trade-off situation, either tolerate her friendship with her ex-boyfriend or take care of myself. She has previously stated the fact that she won’t tolerate conditions to her relationship. 

I created this thread to share a little bit of my story, and if other people feel the need or have been dealing with something hard, feel free to share. I am very willing to read all of your stories!

December 19, 2016 at 6:02 pm
load more