Came to this realization, I never have emotions, just numb out to TV, internet, cigs, alcohol, coffee, food. Would I need to get rid of all these addictions in order to actually feel something? I want to fill myself with love, both for others and myself. I think staying in my head is my way of dealing with life. Anyone else like this?
I used to be like you. Now I barely do any of the things you mention. Those actually seem productive in retrospect. I just wake up, lie on the couch and zone out, all day, most days. I too want to fill myself with love. Radiate some sort of light. (Hmmm, maybe we just did, by reaching out and supporting each other.)
I am afraid that my purpose in life maybe to act as a warning to others to not to fall into this trap. Sigh…..
Won’t you always live in your head? Maybe you’ve been stuck in one emotion for a long time. You could get new addictions that are refreshing or you could find light in the ones you already have.
The actions we perform themselves are empty.. it’s about what you fill your self with as you do them which starts in the mind. All the things you are filling your time with are a part of the culture of humanity and there is beauty in that. Looking deeper into the messages of the media even on your cigarette box is funny. Dividing between “normal” and unnormal people creates more of a reason to separate yourself from the outside world, creates more duality.
Good ol mary jane could fill you with some lovin vibes. HOWEVER mary jane can also become just another thing to numb you out, resulting in you watching tv, browsing the internet, ect. while stoned.
Try smoking some on a beautiful day out in the woods or by a river or lake. Away from people and all the rat race shit, maybe with a few buddies you trust. I challenge you to not enjoy the shit out of that.
Again though, if you are new to marijuana it can indeed come to dominate your life. You wont overdose and die but too much of a great time can numb you to what a great time actually feels like. I recommend small doses and not everyday use.
The spiral down is easy.
The climb back out can crush souls.
You’re stronger than you know, go for it, break free of the bonds of vices.
what are you running from ? if you do not know , know you are running from something . something is vague bc it can be a number of things , likely related to emotional pain , emotional pain causes us to hide within ourselves , to create the outer shell ,
time to stop running
gotta firstly understand what it is you are running from, i cannot offer any detail advice as i do not know your circumstances, but trace back your tendencies to their core, there is always a cause and effect, search for the cause knowing there is one, since you are experiencing the effect
Do you practice any sports? This is a wide spread saying, but it is true – doing sports does indeed clear your mind. Just think of it like a reset button – you go out for a run, and you return home with your mind empty – you just need to fill it with something rather then going for entertainment (tv, mindless internet browsing, alcohol..). Too bored? Build something! Read a good non-fiction book! Learn a new craft (paint/draw/sing/whatever). Life is awsome – just learn something new everyday.
I found out that I need to run at leat once a week (not hard at all) to keep my mind clear of the darkness. Besides that, when I encounter something which I can’t overcome at first, instead of being sad, I face it like a challenge, and an oportunity to avoid boredom.
Good advice, I need to definitely start an exercise process and invest in myself. Appreciate the good advice. Another thing I just discovered (via Ram Das) is when you walk around, rather than being in your head, ask how yourself “how can I be of service?” stops the self-absorption via trial today.