Long-term relationship vs. New Friend & Single Life?

Anthony (@butcher) 9 years, 10 months ago

I have so many thoughts racing through my mind and want to bounce my situation off of people who appear to be much like me, so I joined up and now here I am.

I have a girlfriend who’s ambitions and preferences don’t interest me (but used to), but we’ve been dating since we were teenagers which I find to be unique and special. She’s also willing to stay with me for the rest of our natural lives. She gives me love and is dependent on mine.

A girl who’s been in and out of my life since I was for recently came back into my life and she’s intriguing as all hell, she’s also into me. As soon as she showed up I felt imprisoned by my relationship.

I feel like getting out of this relationship will free me from a mediocre (but good) life and allow me to really figure myself out.

So what I’d really like to know from you is:

Have you been in a situation like this? What did you do?
Have you ever been really attached to someone and had them break it off? How did things end up for you afterwards?

I would really appreciate any advice, stories or opinions you have.

March 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Kristian (81) (@lordcat) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

I’m not a person to live with regret and I’m not a person to forget love.
But sticking with my comfortzone and longing for the unknown is something I’d couldn’t live with.

I was in the same situation and I ended it, we’re still friends. I still talk to her. I still listen to her, I still care for her.

but goddamn it, I’m never going to stop exploring the unknown.

I’d prefer to die of thirst.
Than drink form the cup of mediocreracy.

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Pata (4) (@odjur) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Never get too attached to another person. an someone who cant accept that is very very selfish.

trust your gut.

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Bridget (2) (@bird212) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Wow, @shelby that was such a nice anecdote to read…I just got out of a long relationship and even though I can’t relate it just made me smile.

Anyway, I was in the same situation as you recently and I broke up with my long time boyfriend and feel great. I would say if security is your reason for staying with her, then you probably shouldn’t. There has to be some kind of romance or passion there. I was in your situation with my ex adn I felt like you and so I held on, and in the end that trapped feeling you had with that other girl around, was happening to me and soon i felt like that ALL the time with him. now we are broken up and though i love him as a person, i feel like i can really breath for the first time!

however, it’s your relationship and everyone’s is unique!! trust YOURSELF and your gut!!! :)

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Ramistotle (76) (@mcr513) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

@etengelkerm: lame.

I’ve never been in this position before but it seems like both sides have its pros and cons. I would try to see if there’s any fire left between you and your girlfriend before you bail. Also, I think I would write down on paper everything you love about your girlfriend. But if you do bail, try to make it easy for your girl. Break ups are common, but they don’t have to be dramatic. Good luck.

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Em (473) (@emily) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Many robots suck :)
@ Anthony~ this is what I hear:
“who’s ambitions and preferences don’t interest me (but used to)”
“she’s intriguing as all hell”
“I felt imprisoned by my relationship”
and I can completely relate. Like others said, every relationship is different, so you do need to make this decision for yourself in the context of your own life. But….I was with someone for many years… we were actually together a couple years, then broke up for three, then got back together for a few more. We had a lot invested…but everything you’re saying is so much how I felt… mainly his interests didn’t appeal to me, and I felt imprisoned. I got out last fall.. and it was the best decision I could have made for myself. In retrospect, I can’t believe I stayed in the relationship as long as I did… especially bc I KNEW I WAS UNHAPPY for so long. Idk man… sounds to me like you’re an explorer at heart who’s being held back by thinking you need to stick something out, that you really don’t need to. I’m sure you still deeply care for this girl, but there are many people that come in & out of our lives. Life is supposed to be an exciting adventure… if it’s dull, interests aren’t compatible like they used to be, and you feel imprisoned, it sounds to me like it’s time to move on… Good luck :)

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Michael (2) (@michaelb089) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

someone get this guy outta here…wtf is this spam on HE…so sad

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Em (473) (@emily) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

Testing* Houston, we may have a problem.

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Anonymous (0) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago
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Anonymous (0) (@) 9 years, 10 months ago ago

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